Tag Archives: Watch What Happens Live

June 27, 2020 – A Rewedding For JaSam, Here’s Johnny, Double the Franco, Soap Starts, Sad News, Brittany’s Mom, TV Wedding, Gus Hosts, Looking Back, Musical Stream, Six Hardy Quotes & Educated


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Survey says, today’s GH Flashback is from September 22nd, 2011.

Dante (who practically looked like an infant) proposed to old Lulu. At first, I didn’t realize it was Lulu, and for a moment, wondered who else Dante proposed to. James Franco playing Franco (which is endlessly amusing to me) spied on Maxie and Spinelli in the park, as they planned Sam and Jason’s wedding. Maxie said everything could be fixed with a few clicks on the Jackal’s computer board. Jason showed up at Sam’s while she was trying on her dress, and said he’d broken the rule by seeing her in it. She said there were so many rules, she didn’t think she could go through with it. At the hospital, Robin told Patrick they had a mandatory engagement tomorrow – Sam and Jason’s wedding – but Patrick said they weren’t going.

Sam said it wasn’t that she didn’t want to marry Jason, but he’d just gotten out of the hospital. She wanted to dance right then and there with him, even though he hated dancing, but there was a knock at the door. Dante told Lulu that he was a work in progress (ugh), but he was still a good investment, and he wanted them to invest in each other and share a future. Being with her made him feel like being a better man. Lulu said he’d gone from it being over to shut up and marry me without a break, and she needed to breathe and think. Johnny (Zacchara) asked his father Anthony (Bruce Weitz) what he had on Tracy, but Anthony said, a gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell. After Anthony left, Johnny got on the phone with henchman Cole, and said he had a job for him.

Robin told Patrick that they’d gotten married partly because of Jason, and she was still Jason’s friend. Patrick didn’t want her risking her life being around Sonny, but she said she’d go alone. A courier picked up Sam’s dress because Maxie didn’t trust her with it, and Sam told Jason, the wedding was out of control. Jason suggested she just say no to Maxie, but Sam didn’t want to hurt Maxie’s feelings. She told him, besides Maxie, everyone had their own ideas for the wedding, including Spinelli, her mom, and her sisters. She didn’t even know what kind of flowers or reception they were going to have, but guaranteed it would be over-the-top. She said she didn’t need flowers, a ceremony, or the complications that came with it. Jason told her to forget what everybody else wanted, and focus on what they wanted. All that mattered was that they loved each other. Sam said she had a rock Molly had given her to keep her grounded, and a love nut; what else did she need? Jason took her hand, and said, come on.

Jason and Sam got on his bike, and ended up at a closed Chinese restaurant. The owner Mr. Li and his grandson Robert let them in anyway, and they confessed they were running from their wedding. Lulu went to see a too skinny Maxie at Crimson for advice, while Dante went to see Lucky (the Jonathan Jackson version). He told Lucky about proposing to Lulu, and how she was hesitant. Lucky asked if Dante was sure he wanted be part of this family. Sam explained to Robert that her head was spinning; she didn’t even know if she wanted roses or lilies. Robert’s grandmother Mrs. Yi (who only spoke Chinese, so Robert had to translate) said lilies should be her flower, since they represented unity in spirit and 100 years of love.  She and her husband were halfway there, having been married 50 years. Sam said their problem wasn’t commitment, but the ceremony, and Jason said if it was up to him, he’d marry Sam right there. Robert said they could do that, since he was ordained. Jason pulled out the marriage license that he just happened to have with him. Mrs. Yi said fate had brought them there, and Sam agreed.

Dante pumped Lucky for insight into Lulu, but Lucky said the Spencers were an unpredictable bunch. He told Dante not to play it safe and run from his feelings. They should love the people they were given in life while they had the chance. Anthony went to the hospital where Lisa was in a coma. (Lisa had injected herself with drain cleaner during a struggle with Patrick in June 2011.) Anthony told the doctor that he had power of attorney, and gave the hospital a lot of money. He hoped his generosity counted for something. He gave the doctor a check, and even though the doctor said the protocol was still in the early stages, and thought Anthony should get a second opinion, Anthony said he trusted the doctor, and to shoot her up. Patrick told Robin that she should respect his feelings toward Sonny, the same way he respected hers for Jason. Robin suggested they go to the wedding and get a hotel room for the night, making it a second honeymoon. Patrick said she was playing dirty, but agreed, and told her that they couldn’t let anyone come between them. Johnny got together with Cole, and told Cole to offload a boat containing drugs at the harbor. He was going to put them in Sonny’s coffee warehouse, and then give an anonymous tip to the cops. Cole worried that Sonny would figure out it was Johnny, but Johnny said there would be no proof; just make sure the drugs were unloaded. When Sonny was toasting the happy couple, Johnny would be taking him down.

At the restaurant, Robert took Sam and Jason to the back terrace, where it was romantic and lit by Chinese lanterns. Mrs. Li said something to Sam, and Robert said, loosely translated, it was that Sam’s shoes rocked. (Maxie had meant to send Sam a pair of blue shoes, but a pair of leopard boots had come instead, which Sam insisted on wearing.) Robert said Jason stood under the symbol of the dragon, and Sam stood under the symbol of the phoenix, and the union of the dragon and phoenix symbolized the union of the bride and groom. The dragon stood for strength; he scared away evil spirits, protected the innocent, and blessed the house with safety. The phoenix was the goddess of winged creatures, and brought luck, success, and prosperity, turning bad luck to good. Together, they were the ultimate sides of yin and yang, male and female, strength and beauty. Alone, they brought happiness, but together brought double happiness. Jason had his grandmother’s ring that she had worn for over 50 years. His grandfather had given it to him to give to Sam. Sam had a ring that had belonged to Jason’s father, who wanted him to have it. His parents had a love that lasted a lifetime, and so would theirs. They exchanged rings, and said their vows. Mrs. Li gave them glasses of red wine, and they drank it, doing that twisty thing with their arms. Robert said red was the color of happiness, and tonight, they were joined in happiness. Drinking the wine and honey would make life sweet and rich. From that moment forward, they were one world; earth, water, air, and fire together for all eternity. He pronounced them husband and wife. I’m not big with the romance stuff, but this was actually kind of cool.

Spinelli managed to find some wedding music for Maxie. Dante told Lucky that the moment he met Lulu, he was hooked; there was no one else like her. Lucky suggested he be patient, and let her get used to the idea. Johnny told Cole that his father knew nothing about what was going on, and while Sonny was distracted, it was perfect time to make a move. Unbeknownst to Johnny, Anthony was listening in. Sam gave Mrs. Li her leopard boots, which Mrs. Li said were too cool to refuse, and wondered what they were going to tell Maxie.

Johnny said everything was going down tomorrow night. Jason told Sam they would tell Maxie tomorrow night, and they kissed. Franco set up some Tinker Toys on the statues at the church, and said, see you tomorrow. Okay, they were really cameras, but they looked like Tinker Toys.

💣 Johnny Got His Gun…

I barely remember him, so here’s a refresh.


🎨 He Was a Busy Guy…

All about Franco, going back to when he was James Franco.


🧼 Someday My Soaps Will Come…

According to Soap Opera Digest, Young & Restless will resume taping on July 6th, and Bold & Beautiful has already begun production. No word on GH yet.


😥 She Can’t Catch a Break…

Poor Scheana. 2020 hasn’t treated a lot of people well.


🏥 I Just Know It’s Jax’s Fault…

Because he’s the worst human being on earth, and all of the world’s ills lead to him.


💒 Andy Officiates…

Because we’re starved for entertainment.


📺 Better Call Gus…

Along with some fun TV programming, AMC is releasing a new digital docuseries.



🧛‍♂️ He’s Ba-a-ack…

You can’t keep a good vampire down.


🎧 Early Aughts Interviews…

A trip down Memory Lane with entertainers from the early 00’s.


🎸 Just Sayin’…

Isn’t it funny how The Dixie Chicks are suddenly switching their name to The Chicks to disassociate themselves from racism, but it’s five seconds before they release their first album in a zillion years? Must just be a coincidence.

💖 I Heart Tyler…

But you knew that.


🎶 You Can’t Stop the Beat…

Some live streams coming up. The 13th Annual Roots Picnic Virtual Experience (today – June 27th) looks good.


🦜 Quotes of the Week

That’s the trouble with your whole MTV, microwave dinner generation. You want it all now. You think you deserve it just because you want it? It doesn’t work like that. You have to earn it, you have to take it, you have to make it yours. but before you do that, Guy, you need to decide what it is you really want. – Buddy (Kevin Spacey), Swimming with Sharks

Life is painful and messed up. It gets complicated at the worst of times, and sometimes you have no idea where to go or what to do. Lots of times people just let themselves get lost, dropping into a wide open, huge abyss. But that’s why we have to keep trying. We have to push through all that hurts us, work past all our memories that are haunting us. Sometimes the things that hurt us are the things that make us strongest. A life without experience, in my opinion, is no life at all. And that’s why I tell everyone that, even when it hurts, never stop yourself from living. – Alysha Speer

The most fundamental aggression to ourselves, the most fundamental harm we can do to ourselves, is to remain ignorant by not having the courage and the respect to look at ourselves honestly and gently.Pema Chödrön

Walk with the dreamers, the believers, the courageous, the cheerful, the planners, the doers, the successful people with their heads in the clouds and their feet on the ground. Let their spirit ignite a fire within you to leave this world better than when you found it. – Wilferd Peterson

Take wrong turns. Talk to strangers. Open unmarked doors. And if you see a group of people in a field, go find out what they are doing. Do things without always knowing how they’ll turn out. You’re curious and smart and bored, and all you see is the choice between working hard and slacking off. There are so many adventures that you miss because you’re waiting to think of a plan. To find them, look for tiny interesting choices. And remember that you are always making up the future as you go!Randall Munroe

The four hardest tasks on earth are neither physical nor intellectual feats, but spiritual ones: To return love for hate; to include the excluded; to forgive without apology, and to be able to say, I was wrong.Author Unknown

📰 Searching and Researching…

Sometimes when you’re writing about something, it turns into something else. Like what happened with that journalist in A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood. In working on a piece about what’s going on in the entertainment world, i.e. apologies and cancelations, I’ve learned a great deal. Not about myself – I have that one pretty much down – but about other perspectives. Woken long ago, my horizons are broadening. Coming soon, but for today, stay safe, stay engaged, and stay open to changing direction.

June 18, 2020 – A Best Of Flashback, Top Chef Crowned, Fan Fave, Juneteenth Ideas, Is She Or Not, Thirsty, Watching Stars, Coming Up, a Mansion, Gordon’s Back, Say It Three Times & Dad


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

And the GH Flashback roulette wheel says… October 15th, 2015. I heard on an ad that this week is the best of Sonny and Carly, which brings cohesion to the randomness. Sonny surprised Carly with a wedding in the hospital chapel, that Maxie jumped through hoops to put together in record time. Josslyn and Kristina looked like babies, Sabrina attended with Michael, and Josslyn played the Wedding March on the flute. I assumed it was actually her playing, and was impressed, since the flute is very difficult to master.

Paul showed up at the gallery, while trying to set up Anna via text using the name Sloane. Paul told Ava to be prepared for the dismantling of the Corinthos organization. His plan was about to come to fruition. He told Ava that Carrrlos’s fate and Anna’s were going to dovetail (who uses that word, except in reference to carpentry?). Ava asked if it was a coincidence, but Paul said it was careful planning. He wanted Ava to launder some money via art collectors he was going to send, but Ava wasn’t keen on the idea. Paul asked if she wanted to go to prison for Connie’s murder, since he had her confession on tape. Ava said she was afraid of losing Avery, and Paul relented, saying he wasn’t heartless, and Ava would be of no use to him if her mind was elsewhere. He told her to deal with the custody case first.

Old Jordan wanted to talk to Anna about Carrrlos’s disappearance, since Anna was the last one to see him. Jordan said her leads had gone cold, and Mayor Lomax was breathing down her neck.

While talking to Dillon at the pier, Maxie saw a body in the water, and Dillon called the police. Jordan determined it was Carrrlos, which wasn’t hard since he’d had his wallet on him. When Paul showed up, she said Carrrlos had been shot at close range. That explained why he avoided detection for so long – he was dead. Yep. That will do it. Paul suggested Sonny had gotten his revenge.

Sonny and Carly said their vows. Sonny told Carly that she saved his life every day, and he was blessed that she chose him. Carly said she’d had a taste of life without him, and promised that neither one of them was going anywhere without the other. Dante’s phone rang during the vows, and he stepped aside to take it. Bobbie suggested Sonny make a change, so no one else would get hurt. Dante told them that Carrrlos had been pulled from the harbor, and he was dead. Sabrina freaked, and Dante went to the station. Morgan told Sonny and Carly that Carrrlos had gotten what he deserved, and Sonny said he didn’t ask for retaliation. Morgan said they were looking at him like they thought he did it, and told them they could think what they wanted to; it was his wedding gift to them, and enjoy it while it lasted. When he left, Sonny told Carly that he thought Morgan wished he had shot Carrrlos, but he would have heard about it if Morgan had done it. He explained that Ava had let the Five Families (not a restaurant) that Carrrlos had shot Sonny and acted alone. The only one who could dispute it was Carrrlos, and he wasn’t talking. Carly said that was convenient for Ava, and Sonny said she was up to her lying neck in it. Sabrina told Michael that she’d known Carrrlos most of his life, and Carrrlos had done awful things, but didn’t deserve to get shot.

Anna went to the gallery, and told Ava that she knew it wasn’t Carrrlos who shot Sonny, since he was on the run for killing Duke. Why would he escape Port Charles, then come back to shoot Sonny? She said Ava claiming that’s what happened implied she had something to hide, and asked who Ava was covering for. Paul called Anna, and told her to meet him at Pier 54.

Nathan assumed that Valerie was pregnant after Maxie found a positive pregnancy test in the trash, and Valerie gave him the business about jumping to conclusions. Valerie saw Maxie in the interrogation room after she gave her statement, and Maxie told her it was like a scene from a scary movie, and kept playing in her head. She told Valerie that she knew Valerie and Dillon were having sex, and Valerie said Dillon was a great guy, but that was a no, and had never happened.  Maxie asked whose baby Valerie was worried about carrying. Valerie said she didn’t know what Maxie was  talking about, and didn’t think Maxie did either. Maxie said Valerie had thrown a positive pregnancy test in the trash, and Valerie said Maxie had assumed because she was near the trash can, it must be hers. She suggested the next time Maxie decided to go snooping, get her facts straight. In the meantime, Dante told Dillon to stay the hell away from his wife.

Sonny joked that he and Carly were going to Iowa for their honeymoon, and Lulu told Bobbie that she and Dante were in discussion about expanding their family.

Ava told Paul that Sonny knew she’d lied about Carrrlos, and was asking inconvenient questions, but Paul said he had everything under control.

Carly cuddled with Sonny in his hospital room, and Sonny said it wasn’t the way he’d pictured their honeymoon, but it did feel like Des Moines. She thought it was more like Cedar Rapids.

Top Chef – Finale

The chefs were challenged with cooking the meal of their lives. The final three were Bryan, who the crown had eluded for more than a decade; Melissa, who had more wins than anyone; and Stephanie, the private chef underdog, who had proven she had skills to be feared. The prize was a feature in Food and Wine magazine, an appearance at the Food and Wine festival in Aspen, and $250K. Not bad. I love that magazine, and that’s a nice chunk of change. Bryan said he’d slap them in the face with heart and soul, and we flashed back to the Italian chefs saying there was no soul in his food. Padma tasked them with making the best progressive four-course meal of their lives – no twists. They would be serving it to the best chefs from all over world. Kevin, Lee Anne, and Brian full of Malarkey came out to give their support as sous chefs. Gregory would have been there instead of Brian, but he was still battling back issues. The chefs drew knives for picking order, and Stephanie was first, choosing Brian full of Malarkey, for his enthusiasm and skills. Stephanie also admitted that during Restaurant Wars she fell in love with him. Not literally. Brian chose Kevin, who said, let’s get the band back together, which left Melissa with Lee Anne. Melissa said they’d never worked together, but Lee Ann knew Asian flavors, and was a beast in the kitchen. She thought they’d do well. Padma told them they’d be shopping in the food hub of Florence, and would have five hours to prep and cook back at the Renaissance Tuscany. They were to make the meal as cohesive as possible, and Tom said the judges expected nothing but the best.

Melissa said her mission was to marry Asian flavor with what she’d learned in Italy, bringing Italy to her heritage, so it would portray her adventure. While this isn’t Project Runway, I have to mention that Lee Anne was wearing the coolest fried-egg-and-bacon crocheted scarf. If I was crafty that way, I’d be making one starting tonight. Bryan said he and Stephanie were yin and yang; their minds were one. In the evening, the judges turned the tables, and Tom, Padma, and Gail did the cooking. The chefs were met outside by Tom, who was doing some rustic farmhouse cooking on the grill, which gave Melissa an idea for her main course. They all sat down to eat together, and Padma wished them luck, telling them to cook their hearts out. After dinner, Stephanie called best friend Kristen, who was also the Season 10 winner. Stephanie said she thought her chances of winning were one in three. Melissa called her mom, and Bryan called his brother Michael.

After three hours in the kitchen, the judges were served the first two courses. You knew it was good by the way they were shoveling it in, especially one guy who reminded me of the drive-in guy Joe Bob Briggs and was wearing a shirt with steer on it. Later, I found out he was an Italian butcher named Dario. Gail said Bryan was a great technician, but this time showed soul and love in his food as well. Drive-in Bob Dario said, mama mia! and the main course came out. Melissa made grilled squab; Bryan went with blackened monkfish; and Stephanie made a veal dish. Padma said the food was universally wonderful, and food editor Nilou Motamed said she didn’t like squab, but was now a convert. At this point, I was pretty sure Melissa was going to win. Then, OMG THE DESSERTS CAME OUT. They were all to die for, and I’m not sure which one I wanted more; Bryan’s dark chocolate and ice cream thing, to which Dario responded, mmm… cardamom; Stephanie’s sticky toffee pudding (I don’t know what the hell that is, but give me two servings); or Melissa’s tea-infused tiramisu with a crunchy topping. When the dinner was done, the chefs applauded themselves, and then the judges applauded them when they were called back out. During the final discussion, Dario teared up over how Melissa respected the Italian traditions with her dessert. He said, a butcher who cries, how embarrassing, prompting one of the other guest judges to come over and give him a hug.

When the chefs were brought out to meet with the usual judges, plus Nilou, for the final time, Tom said he thought they all cooked the best meal of their lives, and Padma said she saw the story of their lives on the plates. She relayed that Hunter Lewis from Food and Wine found Bryan’s beets beguiling. Say that three times real fast. Tom said Bryan had erased the impression that he couldn’t cook with soul and heart. Gail said that Melissa had joined the Asian and Italian cultures, and told her about Dario getting emo over her tiramisu. Melissa said they were all artists who loved hearing that their journeys were understood. Stephanie joked that she was going for fan favorite. She had done damage to people who loved her by being sad, and this showed them that she was okay. Tom said, sometimes the voyage is more important than the destination, because you find out what you’re made of. You have to go deeper, and what comes out is who you are. They all made that journey, but there could only be one Top Chef. Arriving for the announcement were Melissa’s mom, Bryan’s brother, and Stephanie’s husband.

With that, Padma told Melissa, she was Top Chef. In Melissa’s interview, she said it had been a wild adventure, but this time she’d done it for herself, and wasn’t trying to earn her father’s approval. She wanted to prove to herself that she could achieve a goal that she’d set. In Stephanie’s interview, she said she accomplished what she’d wanted to do. She hadn’t felt good about the mental space she was in since her brother died. This would give everyone something else to talk about for a while. In Bryan’s interview, he said he’d learned a lot about himself. There were sixteen Top Chefs, but he was the only one who’d done what he did. He’d been runner-up three times, but was never doing this again. Melissa said, once you believe in yourself, nothing can stop you. She knew it sounded cliché, but the world was her oyster. She could do anything now.

👓 On Watch What Happens Live (@home in the Hamptons – @must be nice), Padma and Tom were guests, and Melissa made an appearance. Padma announced Melissa was also the fan favorite, netting her another $10K. Melissa donated that win to Black Visions Collective, the Trevor Project, and Asian Americans for Equality. And for that, Andy gave the night’s mazel.

🥧 Baking For the Teenth…

An idea to celebrate Juneteenth.


📺 Watchlist…

Some Juneteenth suggestions for your viewing pleasure.


📚 For the Bookworm In You…

A Juneteenth reading list.


🍑 Pour the Nene Tea…

A Twitter user suggested her ego has become bigger than her entertainment value. I think they might be right.



🥃 Give That Lady a Drink…

Like not every single one of them is thirsty. It’s not like they’re on the show to educate people about… anything.


🛸 Where No Man Has Gone…

But you can go for free.


📑 Head Start…

A list of what’s coming to the small screen, and not.


👠 Sometimes She’s All Of Us…

While probably none of us will ever have her closet, or will even be able to afford one of her shoes, Sutton sometimes reminds me of how the audience feels. Kind of horrified.


🛶 Unchart This…

You can catch Gordon in Uncharted on the National Geographic (NatGeo) channel on Sundays at 10 pm. It’s also free on YouTube.


📽 Who Can Take a Sunrise…

Candyman returns in a spiritual sequel. Tony Todd and Vanessa Williams will be making return appearances, and Jordan Peele wrote the screenplay, so that’s enough for me.


🤸‍♀️ Is It Friday Again Yet…?

Father’s Day is coming up this weekend, and here’s hoping you have/had a good relationship with yours. My dad was the best. He had a wonderful sense of humor, was ahead of his time, and the fairest person I’ve ever known. Stay safe, stay celebratory, and stay in touch with your family, be they blood relatives or chosen.

May 28, 2020 – Nurse’s Ball 2015, Look Out Newport, New Interpretations, a Hiatus, a Break-Up, Gordon Speaks & Keep Going


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Today’s GH Nurse’s Ball flashback was from May 1st, 2015. Britt and Brad watched the red carpet from home while eating ice cream out of the container. Patrick was with Sam, Hayden showed up with Drew (at the time, Jake Doe), and Michael was with Sabrina. Duke was back from the dead, and Anna showed up with who-the-hell-is-that-guy? Felix arrived with Lucas, but told the interviewer that it wasn’t a love match; he was still single and Lucas was very much in love with someone else. Spinelli accompanied Maxie, and Nathan came with adorkable Ellie. Spinelli accidently tripped Maxie, causing a near nip slip, which Brad and Britt put on heavy replay. Old Nikolas, old Jordan with Shawn, and Dante were there, Nikolas bringing Valerie.

Burned in a fire accidentally started by Cameron, Spencer also spent the night at home, wearing a Phantom mask. Seeing Emma with Cameron on the red carpet, Spencer said, what the fudge? but Britt showed up like a fairy godmother to take him to the Ball to claim his ladylove. Carly had a plan to get Ric run out of town, but told Ric she wanted to put their differences aside, wishing him all the happiness he deserved. This time Aveeno got the plugs, and Obrecht crashed the end of the opening number with 99 Luftballons. After Carly outed Ric and Elizabeth for lying to Jake Doe about who he really was, Brad bailed out the ball with, I Want to Marry You, and a proposal to Lucas. Ending the episode, Elizabeth finally told Jake Doe that he was really Jason. Which he ended up not being, but we didn’t know that then.

The Real Housewives of New York City

We ended last week with a three-way hug between Ramona, Dorinda, and Sonja. We’ll see how long that lasts.

Everyone packs for Newport, Rhode Island. Sonja packs her hormones, telling assistant Matthew that they keep her nice and friendly. In Ramona’s interview, she says, Newport is a chichi place with a lot of atmosphere; like South Hampton, but tinier. Dorinda supervises the work on Bluestone Manor, as they’ve starting doing external stuff like painting.

The women – minus Dorinda who’s going separately – meet at the limo, and LuAnn calls Tinsley a child for bringing her own pillow. I think a lot of people bring their own pillows on trips. In Tinsley’s interview, she says the Newport she knows is Palm Beach as well. Whatever that means. Her mom has a place there, and the people from Palm Beach go to Newport in the summer. Leah tells Ramona that she looks twenty-five, and LuAnn tells her, compliments will get her everywhere. Ramona says they’ll have lunch when they get there, and tonight she’s having a lobster clambake. Wouldn’t that be a lobsterbake? She says, Dorinda has been edgy, and LuAnn says it was the anniversary of Richard’s death, and then it was his birthday. She’s been bitchy to everyone. Ramona says they have to show they care for her. She’s probably there already.

Yes she is. Dorinda checks into the Castle Hill Inn, telling the woman at the desk, she used to stay there with her late husband. In the limo, Leah whines, are we there yet? but it’s another two hours. Elyse says she had a humbling moment. She was passing some construction workers, who started yelling that she was beautiful. She turned around, and realized they weren’t talking to her. There was a six-foot tall blond walking behind her. Leah talks about Pita Guy, and says they had their first intimate moment. There was heavy petting, clothed, and the next day he didn’t even text. She told him she didn’t appreciate his aloof and irreverent attitude toward her time. In her interview, she says, even after seven years of therapy, and trying to hide it, the psycho bitch came out, and he saw it. She tells the women that her sister is a new mom with a seven-month old baby, and she’d like to invite Sarah along. Ramona is like, no, and Leah suggests she relax and think about it. In Ramona’s interview, she says she knows who works off who, and it’s a tenuous rope. Bringing a new personality into an already turbulent group might be a mistake.

They reach the inn, receiving welcome drinks at the desk. Dorinda is waiting for them in what looks like an empty restaurant, and they all go out onto the terrace. The waitstaff brings out trays of food, and Ramona asks for two dozen oysters. In her interview, Tinsley says she doesn’t like fighting. She’ll be happy to get a hello, but Dorinda seems approachable. Leah insists she’s not hungry, and I’m guessing she’s in what I call drinking mode, where the last thing you want is people shoving food at you. In Leah’s interview, she says she doesn’t feel good about herself, but here we go. She says she thinks Ramona would love her sister, and Ramona agrees to including Sarah in their dinner tomorrow. Ramona tells Sonja that she doesn’t want Sarah to come, but Leah talked her into it. Ramona decides they should take a vote, but Leah tells her, she already said yes. Plus, Ramona invited Elyse. Elyse says, don’t even talk to her, and in her interview, says she’s known the women for twenty years. Sonja says, guests can’t invite guests, reminding me of Jessie from NYC Prep giving one of the best quotes ever – guests of guests don’t bring guests. Leah says she’d already asked. In Sonja’s interview, she says the trip was meant for their clique of girls, and it should have been discussed among them. Ramona says she doesn’t want Sarah to come, and Leah says she’s being rude. In Dorinda’s interview, she says she thinks it’s important. Leah is in a new group, and she’s a single mom. Maybe she wants to hang around with her sister. Who cares? Leah tells Ramona, Dorinda and Tinsley said yes. What about LuAnn? LuAnn asks what do they care? and Leah says, it’s agreed. She appreciates it. Ramona says she looks forward to meeting Sarah.

They go to where they’ll be staying; cottage type rooms with terraces and gorgeous views. Dorinda tells the attendant unless he wants to be privy to something scary, she suggests he leave. He wisely takes her advice. Sonja says, the sea air feels good, and tells LuAnn, maybe they’ll get their mojo back. Leah calls Sarah, and tells her that she can come. Ramona tells Sonja, if she likes Sarah, she’ll be happy to have her.

Ramona wonders how Leah got her to say okay, and Sonja says she felt pressured. No one gets a plus-one. In Sonja’s interview, she says Ramona should have thought first. This is what she does; she says yes, then rescinds the invite. Ramona says she’s going to tell Leah tonight that her sister can’t come. In her interview, Ramona grumbles that Leah pressured her like a little girl. The dynamic won’t be good. Drinking like a fish already, Leah goes to Tinsley’s room. In Tinsley’s interview, she says she thinks she’s in for a fun time with Leah, but hopes Leah doesn’t get her naked like in the Hamptons. Leah tells Tinsley, in Newport, they don’t burp, or even pee. They head out to meet the other women for dinner.

In her interview, Tinsley says she hopes Leah doesn’t go off the deep end. Dorinda asks what Leah’s been doing while she was taking a nap all afternoon, and Leah says she started early. Ramona directs them to her clambake, down a path lit with white lights, to a table flanked with sheer drapes. Lagging behind, Leah tells Tinsley, it’s a judgement free zone, and Ramona passes out crowns, saying, they’re all princesses. LuAnn says that reminds her of Feeling Jovani, where she sings about a crown, and everyone is like, all right already. LuAnn tells Ramona, she doesn’t understand. She’d thought the more the merrier, but after reflection, Leah should have asked beforehand. In LuAnn’s interview, she says, when she thought about it, it was kind of rude asking at the last minute. Leah should have given more of a heads up. Ramona tells her, she should have said she’d love to meet Sarah another time. Tinsley and Leah finally catch up, and Tinsley screeches over the crown.

There’s a bar and a small outdoor seating area where the women have a cocktail before dinner. Dorinda and Leah want more vodka in theirs, and Ramona tries to stop Leah. In Leah’s interview, she says Ramona barely knows her, and wants to monitor her in a way she doesn’t monitor herself. Dorinda tells Ramona to leave Leah alone, and Leah says it’s her vacation; she’ll do what she wants. Leah asks the bartender for two shots, while Ramona frets, and mumbles something about Leah being a recovering alcoholic. Tinsley says Leah chose not to drink, and there’s a difference. Leah’s not a recovering alcoholic. Dorinda says they’re in a safe environment, like anywhere around this bunch is a safe environment. She tells Ramona, don’t be quick to judge. In Ramona’s interview, she says, Leah is overconsuming too quickly. What? Leah asks what Ramona is saying behind her back, and Tinsley says she told Ramona that Leah isn’t an alcoholic. Ramona says Leah stopped drinking for seven years. Leah says, it was nine, and while Ramona is her surrogate mother, and she respects that, Ramona doesn’t have to worry. In her interview, Leah says she’s feeling suffocated, and she’s worried if she’s not in Ramona’s good graces, Ramona will blow up.

They sit at a beautiful table, white everything, with white flowers down the middle. Tinsley and Sonja talk on the side. Ramona tells Sonja that she doesn’t want to say anything about Leah’s sister. In Sonja’s interview, she says she understands that Leah’s drinking makes her feel more confident. She’s an unconventional girl in a conventional town. But the strategy isn’t working. Leah sits on Sonja’s lap, and asks Tinsley if she’s going to get thrown out of Rhode Island. She’s having more fun than she’s had in an effing month and a half. In Ramona’s interview, she says she thought Sonja would have her back, but now Sonja is frolicking around, playing with Leah, and encouraging her to act this way. Ramona tells Leah to sit in her seat, and Leah says she’s rude. Leah finally sits, and says, sorry. She didn’t mean to make Ramona uncomfortable. In LuAnn’s interview, she says Leah wants to hang with the girls, but it’s been a while, and she can’t drink as much as she used to. Leah apologizes, calling Ramona mom. LuAnn says, stop freaking her out. While this is going on, Tinsley apologizes to Dorinda. Then Sonja chases Leah around the table. Ramona decides she’s going to tell Leah, because now is definitely the time. Dorinda tells Tinsley that she has so much to give. Dorinda is tough, so she was just trying to toughen Tinsley up.

This is the weirdest scene ever. While Dorinda and Tinsley talk quietly, chaos goes on next to the table. Sonja has now grabbed Leah, who falls to the ground, yelling that she doesn’t want to go on the Morgan yacht. Leah rolls around, and has lost one shoe somewhere. Sonja says Ramona has something to tell her, and Leah says she doesn’t want to go on the yacht. Ramona says she’d love to meet Leah’s sister, but at another time. Leah says, don’t go there, and Ramona says, she’s not coming. I swear, I’d just walk off this show. The paycheck can’t possibly be worth it. Dorinda tells Tinsley, maybe she was wrong. It’s Tinsley’s life, not hers. Ramona says they’ll have a cocktails and conversations party and invite Sarah, and Leah says Sarah is already on her way. Tinsley hugs Dorinda, who suggests they have a reset. In Dorinda’s interview, she says she feels like she’s in Groundhog Day, and she just wants to watch Leah destroy the place. In LuAnn’s interview, she says, bad timing on Ramona’s part. Leah is already bonkers. In Ramona’s interview, she says she didn’t expect a reaction like this. No one was murdered. Leah says she wants to talk to Ramona, but Ramona won’t talk. She says Leah is a little out of control, and Leah says, like no one in the group has been before. Elyse tries hug Leah, but Leah says, get off me. She walks over to the drapes, and pulls at them, and I fully expect the whole thing to come down, but it’s barely disturbed. In Dorinda’s interview, she says she was known as the gangster with blue eyes, but Leah is out of control.

Ramona takes Leah, who has moved on to the crying phase, away from the group. Ramona tells her to pretend like it’s yoga. Breathe in and out. LuAnn thinks Leah was rude to ask if she could invite her sister, and Sonja says Ramona was put on the spot. In Elyse’s interview, she says Leah is taking it personally instead of taking the opportunity to get to know the girls on a deeper level. Asking to bring her sister was a bad idea. Tinsley says, Leah can handle herself, but LuAnn says, clearly she can’t. Dorinda says, Leah’s not used to drinking, and LuAnn says, neither is she. Have they ever seen her behave that way? Yes. We have, and we do again, flashing back to LuAnn falling in that bush, and another clip of her just falling. In her interview, Leah says she’s done crazy in the past. She’s new to the group, and they’re not used to her kind of crazy. Ramona tells Leah that she doesn’t want to change the dynamic. Leah says she’s not staying if her sister isn’t allowed to come. Sonja says she can’t invite someone at the last minute, and Leah says, too late. Ramona can’t say yes, then no. Sonja says, they’ve got her. Sonja joins Tinsley and Dorinda in a hug, and Leah cries some more. LuAnn tells her, these bitches aren’t worth crying for. Sonja tells Ramona, it’s making her upset to see Leah upset. Let her bring her sister. They’re going to push her over the brink. Ramona tells Leah, her sister is welcome, and she’s sorry. In her interview, Ramona says Leah is new to the group, and loves her sister; maybe she’s being ridiculous. She apologizes to Leah again, and hugs her, telling her to stop crying. Ramona says she can be a control freak, but realized it mean a lot to Leah. She had to overlook her own feelings and change her mind.

In the morning, LuAnn does stretches on the terrace. Dorinda goes down to the beach, saying, waves, speak to me. She calls Leah, and asks how it’s going. Leah says she’s alive. In Dorinda’s interview, she says she knows how Leah woke up; the guilt, fear, and embarrassment. All those wonderful things that happen after a night of drinking and losing your sh*t. She’s been there. The Inn hasn’t been burned down; she’s good. Leah says she feels great, and Dorinda says Leah is her kind of girl. She asks if Leah got clarity, and Leah says she found her own clarity; her sister is coming. In her interview, Leah says she didn’t come on the trip in the best state of mind. She doesn’t remember what happened, but she feels like she released a lot of energy. Whatever happened was therapeutic. I like Leah, but it’s pretty selfish to intrude on everyone else’s time with your therapeutic insanity. She really shouldn’t drink. It’s not a good look for her.

Sonja tells Ramona, she feels great. Ramona marvels at Sonja being able to drink up a storm, and wake up fresh as a daisy. Elyse comes by, and says, they’re not dressed yet. Ramona says they like to lounge in the morning. Elyse asks how Ramona is feeling, and Ramona says she knows Leah was a little out of control. Elyse says Leah needed an exorcism. She thought Leah was wrong to ask her sister to come; however, once Ramona said yes, she shouldn’t have rescinded it. In her interview, Ramona says, she likes Leah, but Leah has two sides. The crazy side, and the regular side. She likes the regular side. Save the crazy side for your other young friends. She says, maybe Leah’s sister will be a good influence on her. She tells Elyse that they’re going shopping in town. They can work off what they ate.

The women reconvene, and Elyse asks how Leah is feeling. Leah says, good, and Elyse asks if she’s not hungover. Leah says she’s not, and Elyse says, that’s weird; she’s assuming Leah was wasted. Leah says, that’s the way she is, although alcohol fueled it. That’s how she wants to be all the time. Elyse says, and she wonders why guys think she’s a crazy chick. Ouch. In her interview, Dorinda says, who cares? No one should be judged by one night. Look at the whole group. Ramona asks how Leah is feeling, and Leah says, great. That’s actually a theory I have. Many alcoholics don’t seem to get hangovers. Ramona asks if Leah remembers what happened, and Leah says, of course she does. Bring it on. In Leah’s interview, she says, she doesn’t really want to be like that all the time, but she saw how the women were at the orchard – we flash back to the lunacy at lunch and in the corn maze – and the Hamptons. She thought she was allowed to chug ten martinis and lose her mind.

Leah, Dorinda, and Tinsley take one limo; while Ramona, Elyse, and LuAnn take another. Leah asks if they can believe what Elyse said, and Dorinda says, Elyse isn’t the one who should be giving out relationship advice. Ramona wonders why Dorinda is defending Leah, and Elyse says, Dorinda will give out advice, but everyone else better not. She does an impression of Dorinda calling Tinsley a superficial slut, and then yelling at Ramona not to judge Tinsley. I have to admit, it’s pretty spot-on.

Leah says Elyse was hard on her, but Elyse says she’s Leah’s biggest fan when Leah does normal. Leah says she’d never do that in front of her child, and Elyse asks what if she ends up with a mini me? What kind of message is she sending her daughter? Leah says she can do and say whatever she wants, and effity-eff-eff-effs her way out the door. Outside, she tells Dorinda that she and Elyse haven’t had enough interaction to make it appropriate for Elyse to be in her business. Elyse comes out, and Leah says, her daughter is twelve, and Elyse is asking how she’d feel if her daughter gets wasted? Don’t bring up her kid. Elyse promises not to go there, and Leah says, don’t talk about her daughter. Elyse says, that’s fair, and Dorinda asks why Elyse is in Leah’s business so much.

Dorinda says Elyse thinks she’s some great psychiatrist, prowling around, waiting for someone to make a mistake. In Sonja’s interview, she says she knows Elyse was just trying to be helpful. She suggests instead of breaking bread, they all break Bloody Marys. Dorinda toasts to being judgement free. Ramona says she won’t be embarrassed in Newport, and Dorinda asks what about the rest of the states? In Dorinda’s interview, she says, Leah is twenty years younger; give her a break. They should be guiding, not chastising her. Dorinda says, be inclusive, and Ramona says Dorinda is enabling Leah. Sonja thinks Leah should apologize, and Leah says she’s the first person to say she’s sorry, and take accountability. She got drunk, and enjoyed herself, but she’s sorry. Ramona says it was atrocious behavior, and upsetting to her. In her interview, Leah says, going into Newport, she was angry at herself, but instead of getting support, she got jerked around about her sister coming. Anything she does is wrong to these women. Leah says she thinks she triggered something in Ramona about her past, and it kills her. She tears up. Ramona says she’s blocked it out, and in LuAnn’s interview, she says, that’s a crock of sh*t. Ramona has been coming down hard on Leah, when Ramona is no angel. LuAnn tells Ramon that she’s making Leah feel bad for no reason. Ramona says they don’t know how she feels. In her interview, she says Dorinda and LuAnn grew up in loving homes, while hers was a war zone. She read books, and blanked out her dad and brother’s alcoholic rages. She tells Leah that her intention isn’t to make Leah feel bad. She really likes Leah, and doesn’t want to not like her. Leah says she is who she is, but Ramona says she doesn’t like that behavior. Maybe Leah can curb it; they’ll see. To be continued…

Next time, Dorinda wants to be left alone, Leah throws ravioli at Ramona, and Dorinda and Tinsley are back to arguing.

👩🏼‍🍳 On Top Chef, Karen unpacked her knives to go against Kevin in Last Chance Kitchen. Winner Kevin picked three chefs to go head to head with, and won against Brian full of Malarkey, the other white Bryan, and Gregory. This put Kevin back into the game. Award winning chef, and pioneer of California cuisine, Jonathan Waxman was the guest judge, and for the Quickfire challenge, the chefs were to create a two-course business class dish for an airline. They had to use ingredients found year round, and make the meal to airline tray specifications. Everyone made fabulous meals, but Brian full of Malarkey forgot you don’t get a steak knife on an airplane, making his entrée difficult to eat. Melissa was the winner, for which she’d get an advantage in the elimination challenge. I don’t know if these advantages are some kind of secret or I keep missing them somehow, but I have no clue what it was. Five chefs would be continuing on to the finale in Tuscany, courtesy American Airlines. For the final elimination challenge, they were to produce a dish inspired by Michael’s in Santa Monica, a restaurant owned by another California cuisine pioneer, Michael McCarty. Jonathan was his first chef, and the restaurant was celebrating its 40th anniversary. The chefs were to meet with Michael, and taste his signature dishes, which would serve as an inspiration. They would literally be serving Mike, Jonathan, and alumni from the restaurant.

Melissa was allowed first choice, and picked quail. For Kevin, it was duck; Stephanie, scallops with angel hair pasta; Bryan, lamb; Gregory, monkfish; and Brian full of Malarkey, veal. The idea was to take the dish, modernize it, and give it their own spin, yet keep an homage to the original. The highlight was when half of Brian full of Malarkey’s dishes went to another table, totally throwing him off his game. He stumbled through the long, stupid story that went with his creation, and was annoyed because he’d wanted the food to be eaten in a certain order. When everything had been tasted, Mike said they all took his dishes up to the next level, and Padma thanked them for glorious meal.

Melissa had her best night ever, winning immunity as well. Gail said there was nothing any of them would have changed, which was high praise. Mike told Stephanie that she was right there, and the race was close. Bryan and Kevin were also in, leaving Gregory and Brian full of Malarkey on the bottom. Malarkey said he’d had a great ride, and Padma asked if he was quitting. In his interview, Gregory said, Top Chef messes with you, and thought it was getting to Malarkey. He wanted to win because he deserved it, not because the other chef quit. Gail assured Malarkey that their judgement had nothing to do with the screw-up of his food going to another table. Malarkey said he was upset with the process, since his dishes hadn’t been eaten right. Everyone was like, what? and Gail said he can’t control the food once it leaves his hands. Tom told him that the duo on the plate didn’t talk to each other; there was a distinct clash. Which basically meant the two things he made didn’t go together. Jonathan said it didn’t evoke what Malarkey had babbled talked about. He told Gregory he’d been expecting more, and Padma said there wasn’t enough richness in Gregory’s risotto. I told you that risotto is always trouble.

Tom said, in the end, it comes down to what’s on the plate, and Brian full of Malarkey was told to pack his knives and go. Yay! In his interview, he said he didn’t want go out that way. He had every intention of winning, but his mind melted. He was still proud of what accomplished.

Next time, Italy, a truffle hunt, and making pasta for Italians

📺 Since Andy Cohen is on another one of his numerous vacations, Watch What Happens Live will return on Monday, June 8th. Although after suffering through much of the RHOA Reunion myself – three parts of it, no less – I can’t say he doesn’t deserve this break.

💃🏼 She’s Movin’ On…

Dorinda dishes on getting rid of the old John and chain.


🔥 Missed Hell…

While the 24 Hours to Hell and Back ship sailed without me, you can still watch Gordon discuss it, along with his life in quarantine.


🌥 Lifting the Fog…

We seem to be moving closer to a new yet old normalcy, and I’m moving closer to the end of what might possibly be the longest week of my life. See you tomorrow for tea and words of wisdom. Not from me. From other people. Until then, stay safe, stay out of fights (unless it’s the good fight), and stay mostly on the straight and narrow.

May 6, 2020 – Robert Drowns His Sorrows, Two Hours of Dreck, Teddi’s Retreat, Returning, Jimmy’s Soap, the Latest On Erika, Atlanta Reunites, Non-Essential, NOS4A-Part 2, a New Gala & Balloons


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

I honestly don’t know wth happens. I think I have extra time, then I run late. I’m usually here by the time the opening credits roll, but still. So here’s the set-up. Robert is crying in his beer at The Floating Rib, and Anna arrives; it’s Dante’s birthday, and Sonny went to visit Mike; Brook and Michael spar at Sonny’s gym, and Jax catches up to Carly at the MetroCourt bar.

Sam tells Kristina, it’s no secret that Carly and Sonny are Jason’s closest friends. Jason knew them before she came along, and she’s fine with that. She supports it. Alexis asks Kristina, what’s going on? Why is she saying hurtful things to Sam? Kristina says she’s not trying to be hurtful. She’s trying to get Sam to see the truth. Molly says, it sounds like something Kristina learned from DoD, but Kristina says, just the opposite. She’s gained perspective since then, and is trying to be a better person. Molly says, so now Kristina is a relationship expert, despite never having had a healthy relationship herself? Is she jealous of Sam’s love for Jason?

At The Floating Rib, Mac thanks Anna for coming. Robert is sad, but okay. He’s been drinking a lot of beer. Robert says he can’t believe Holly is gone. He texted Luke, but he’s probably preoccupied with Ethan. Mac says, it’s horrible, losing a parent. Robert says, Holly could charm the pants off of you, steal your wallet, and you’d still be charmed. He really did love her. Anna asks how he is, and he says, lousy. Mac tells Anna, he didn’t lose a great love, but Holly was a great friend. Anna says she’s sorry, and Felicia says, Holly would want them to celebrate her life, not mourn her death. Anna says, champagne and caviar, everything first class. On someone else’s dime, of course (🍷). Maxie and Peter come in, and Maxie asks, what’s going on? Robert says, it’s a terrible time. He doesn’t need Peter around, so get out.

Sonny shows Mike Dante’s picture on his phone, and says it’s his grandson. Does Mike recognize him? Mike says, nice phone. Felix comes in, and asks if Mike needs anything. Mike asks if Felix wants to play checkers, but Sonny says he needs to talk to Felix. He’ll be right back. He leaves Mike his phone, and they go into the hallway. He tells Felix that his dad is struggling to eat, but Felix says, Mike had some applesauce when he woke up. Is it a problem? Sonny says, it’s not a problem. It’s just that Mike is eating the same thing his baby daughter is eating, and it’s strange for him. Sonny goes back into Mike’s room, where Mike is staring into space and smiling.

Jax tells Carly that Nina had a front row seat to the custody war between Lulu and Valentin, and they called a cease fire. Carly says, that’s great, but Charlotte’s case is nothing like Wiley’s. Nina said she wanted to protect Wiley, and that’s why she hired Nelle. He says, if there’s no smoking gun, Nina isn’t going to plant one, and Carly says, why not? Nelle has done it often enough. Turnabout is fair play. He says, Nina looks at Nelle and sees herself. She never got the love of a mother. She says, it’s the same sob story Nelle has given before. It’s an act. She’s a total manipulator, and Nina should know better.

Nina says Nelle misinterpreted the conversation. She wasn’t defending Nelle; she was just  trying to understand. Nelle says, that’s more than anyone else has done or tried to do. Nina says, if Nelle is honest, she’s given people reason to doubt her; even to fear her. Nelle says, she can’t deny that, but can’t people change? Learn from their mistakes, and become a better person? Like Nina. Nina says, it doesn’t matter what she thinks, what matters is what the judge thinks. Nelle says, the judge will listen to Nina, but Nina says she doesn’t know why she should get involved, since the custody hearing has nothing to do with her.

Brook tells Michael, he can hit harder; put some muscle into it. Get in touch with his anger. He needs to get his aggression out, or disaster will strike. He’ll see Nelle, and lose it, calling her out for the psycho bitch she is. Then Nelle will turn on the waterworks, and tell the judge he’s abusive and vindictive. Michael says, that’s why he’s going to be under control, but she says if he goes in cold and calculating looking to inflict maximum damage, he’ll regret it. That’s why he has to vent while he’s there. Pretend she’s Nelle, and let her have it. He punches harder, and she says, that’s it. Now pretend he’s that girlfriend stealing Chase, and give him what he deserves. Michael turns around, and sees Sasha and Chase standing behind him, outside the ring.

Anna tells Maxie and Peter, Charlie’s might be a better fit. Robert is hurting, and drowning in beer. Maxie explains to Peter that Holly was Robert’s ex-wife. He says, Robert was married to Anna, but Maxie says, you can have more than one great love; look at them. Anna says her relationship with Holly was complicated. Sometimes they were friends, sometimes enemies; they were frenemies. She feels bad, especially since Robert adored Holly. Peter says she’s right. They should go to Charlie’s. Maxie says she wants to give Robert her condolences first. It was so sudden. He must be devastated.

Sonny tells Felix, it’s great having him there for his dad, and Felix says he’s glad to help. Sonny says he knows it’s tough, putting in the extra time, but Felix says he’s glad Sonny reached out. He’s always liked Mike, and if his being there makes Mike more comfortable, that’s the reason he became a nurse in the first place. Sonny says, he appreciates it, and goes back into Mike’s room. He tells Mike, he’s learning things about him all the time. He likes his pillows firm, but not too firm. Now he’s learned Mike likes applesauce. Who knew? He’s tired of thinking about what Mike wants, and needs Mike to tell him what he needs. How does he want to live the remaining time he has left? Does he want the doctors to take every measure they can to save his life, or does he want them to do nothing? Mike’s got to tell him something. What does he want? Mike motions him closer, and says, Yankees.

Carly tells Jax, she gets that Nina has unresolved issues about babies and motherhood, but Nina will be to blame if Nelle gets her hands on Wiley. Jax asks if that’s not a little unfair. Carly says she knows Jax is thinking about what she said regarding Nina not being a mother, but she thinks Nina paints a romantic picture of motherhood. Just because you carry and deliver a baby, doesn’t mean you become a good and selfless person. Look at Nelle; there’s been no maternal bonding. Jax says Carly admitted she wasn’t good or selfless until she had Michael. Isn’t that what changed her? Carly says it did, but it wasn’t like a magic wand. She didn’t go to bed a gold-digger, and wake up a Madonna. She had to make choices, and had to give up things she liked. She hated it, and had to learn to sacrifice things she loved when she realized it was the best thing for her kids. Nelle never learned that. That’s why she’s dangerous.

Nelle wishes she knew how to convince Nina she’s changed. Nina says, if she agreed to testify – and it’s a big if – the only thing she could say is, in the brief time Nelle has worked there, she’s been a good employee. She can’t vouch for Nelle’s motive or character, or how she’d be as a mother. Nelle says they’ve talked about it. She told Nina what she’s up against, and why she needed the job. She knows what happened with Sasha still hurts, and how badly Nina wanted it. That’s how she feels about Wiley. Don’t believe Brad. She didn’t give the baby away; she believed he died. Now she has an incredible second chance to hold her son. Nina says, Nelle is good; she’ll give her that. Nelle says, she’s not good. Everyone knows that, but she has a chance to do better for Wiley. It’s a start, and maybe one day, she’ll grow into someone people admire, like Nina, but she can’t unless somebody gives her a second chance.

Sasha says she had no idea Michael would be there, and tells Chase, let’s go. Brook says, don’t leave on their account. Not that they care. Chase says it doesn’t involve Brook, but Brook says Michael has a custody hearing tomorrow, and can’t risk beating up a cop. She’s in a different boat. Chase tells Sasha, let’s go, and Brook says she was willing to give Sasha the benefit of the doubt; a bad girl who turned her life around because of the love of a good man. It was a fairytale she was willing to buy into, but Sasha isn’t just bad. She’s rotten to the core. A liar and a user; one step above Nelle. Chase tells her to stop, and she says, and him. A cheating cheater who cheats. Willow found out her baby died, and he jumps into bed with her supposed friend. Sasha says if Brook’s got a problem, bring it to her. Brook says Sasha’s got it.

Kristina agrees with Molly. Her love life has been like the Titanic, where she’s reaching for a life preserver that isn’t there. But she doesn’t want to feel desperate. She wants a relationship like Molly and TJ have. Molly says, the one where she cheated on TJ, and Kristina tried to convince her not to tell him? Sam doesn’t want to talk about Jason, TJ, or anyone else. All she wants is a drink right now. She looks at Alexis, and says, sorry. Kristina says their mom has been sober for years, and Molly says she doesn’t think mentioning a drink will send Alexis to a bar. Alexis says, since they’re being brutally honest, she’ll tell them what she’s already told Sam. She’s only been sober for two weeks.

Maxie tells Robert, she’s so shocked. It doesn’t matter how long they were apart. She knows how much he cared. Peter tells Mac and Felicia, sorry for their loss, and Felicia says that’s kind of him. Robert says, the late Holly Sutton. How does that happen? It makes it better when you say late. She’s not really dead, just late. Anna says he’s not being fair to Peter, and Robert says Peter always means well. He laughs, and says, Henrik, how is it that such a remarkable woman like Holly’s got to die, and a completely unadulterated dirtbag like you gets to live?

Sonny and Mike watch a baseball game on TV, and Sonny says, Mike’s got a hit. Felix says, it’s a nice father and son moment. Sonny says he asked his father what he wanted. He was thinking about life and death, but Mike said, the Yankees. They all love baseball, especially Dante. They didn’t raise him, but it’s in his DNA. Even with everything Mike’s forgotten, he remembers baseball. He wishes Dante was here. He’d love it as much as Mike.

Jax tells Carly, he knows Nina seems to be wavering, but she cares more about Wiley’s welfare than Nelle’s. Trust her to do the right thing. Carly hopes he’s right. On top of the hearing in the morning, there’s a lot going on with Mike. Sonny has some difficult decisions to make. Jax says he’s sorry, and she says, that’s why she was hoping to uncover something that would lock up the case for Michael getting custody, and it would all be over with Nelle. He says he would help in any way he can with either situation. He’d drop everything, and hopes she knows that. She says she does, because Jax is the guy he is. He’s the good guy who wants to swoop in to save the day, but he can’t. He says, as far as the custody hearing goes, he’ll talk to Nina. She thanks him, and says, if Nina will listen to anyone, it’s him.

Brook steps out of the ring, and tells Sasha that they can go ten rounds, but Sasha says she’s not like Lulu, who will back off after a few insults. Chase tells Sasha not to stoop to Brook’s level; let’s go. Michael suggests they all cool down, and Brook says, what was Sasha thinking? She’s obviously too shallow to appreciate Michael’s loyalty and commitment, but he’s the shining star of the Quartermaine family. He’s got prestige and connections, and a bottomless bank account. Sasha could have been sitting pretty. Instead, she jumped into bed with Chase. Brook punches Sasha in the face, and is like, oops.

Molly says she’s sorry, and asks if Alexis is okay. Alexis says, she’s fine. She had one drink, and went straight to an AA meeting. Molly asks, what happened? and Alexis says, maybe her and Neil testifying at the hearing. Maybe there was too much pressure, and she took the easy way out. Sam says, that’s not what happened. She went off on Alexis, and said some things she shouldn’t have. Alexis says, Sam didn’t make her drink; she did. If she drank every time they exchanged words, she wouldn’t have a liver. She’s ready for whatever comes. Kristina asks if she means Neil, and Alexis says she’s not sure.

Felicia tells Robert, no more beer; coffee. Peter says he’s going to get out of everyone’s way, and steps outside. Maxie tells Robert, she loves him, and knows the pain he’s experiencing, but he doesn’t get to talk to Peter like that. Robert asks why Holly had to die. He knows in his heart that she wasn’t ready; it wasn’t her time. Mac says they’ve all lost people, and Felicia says, no one ever thinks it’s the right time. Out in the hallway, Peter sends a text: Need answers. NOW. Maxie comes out, and says, sorry. It’s the grief and a lot of beer talking. Peter asks if she’s telling him not to take it personally, and she says, with Robert, it’s always personal, but it’s not Peter’s fault Holly died.

Sonny says, are you kidding him? He was off by a mile. He sees Mike is asleep. Carly comes in, and says she can hear Sonny down the hall. He says his dad wanted to watch the Yankees.

Nina tells Nelle, before she even considers testifying on her behalf, Nelle has to do more than promise to be a better person. A child is at stake. A child who’s been taken away from the only parent he knows. Nelle says that’s why she needs Nina. Michael’s family is going to raise Wiley to think that she didn’t want or deserve him. He’ll wonder why his mom is a stranger. She needs him to know she didn’t turn her back on him. Will Nina give her a second chance? Help her out? There’s a knock at the door, and Jax asks if he’s interrupting.

Brook tells Chase, she’s calling a Ride Share. She’s going to check on Michael at the hospital, and make sure he doesn’t do something stupid, like forgive Sasha. He says she can’t go around punching people, and she says, it was an accident. He wonders why there are always accidents when she’s there, and she says, look around him. It’s a boxing gym. People are supposed to throw punches. Don’t blame her for his bad mood, and that he lost his girlfriend because he couldn’t keep it in his pants.

Felicia tells Robert that he can use some more coffee.  Robert says, fine, and Mac says, drink up. Robert tells Anna, it’s not like he said anything bad, and she says he told Peter that he should feel guilty for being alive. He says that’s not the way he meant to say it, and Mac asks if there’s a right way. Felicia says Robert owes Peter an apology. Holly would want that. Maxie comes back, and Anna asks where Peter is. Maxie says, he needed some air. She doesn’t blame him.

Outside, a guy approaches Peter. He says he got there as fast as he could. What’s the problem? Peter slams him up against the side of the building, and the guy asks, what’s wrong? Peter says he told him to distract Robert, not kill Holly. The guy says, they were monitoring her, but had nothing to do with the incident. Peter says, if he finds out the guy is lying… and they guy swears it’s the truth. Peter lets him go, and he asks if Peter still wants them to do something to distract Robert. Peter says, there’s no need now. Fate seems to have done it for him.

Carly and Sonny go into the hallway. Mike says, the Yankees were Mike’s idea. He told Mike it was Dante’s birthday, and Mike mentioned the Yankees. He connected the two things. Carly says, maybe Mike was telling Sonny what he wanted to hear, and Sonny says, could be, but at least his dad connected it. He wanted to talk about the DNR, and asked Mike if he wanted the doctors to let him go or take extra measures. That’s when he brought up the Yankees. That says his dad isn’t ready to give up.

Jax asks if Nina is done for the night, and she says she is. Nelle says, actually, they were in the middle of a conversation, but Nina says, Jax is right. Nelle has a big day tomorrow, and should get some sleep. Nelle thanks Nina for listening, and hopes Nina thinks about what she said. Jax says, goodnight, Nelle, and Nelle grabs her stuff and leaves. Jax asks what Nelle wanted, and Nina says Nelle wanted her to be a character witness. He says, wow; she’s shameless. Nina doesn’t respond, and he says, she isn’t seriously considering it, is she?

Chase tells Brook, she needs to clean up her own life before she points fingers at him. She asks if it makes him uncomfortable; her pointing out that he’s a lying, sleazy cheat who betrayed her cousin. It’s a funny thing about the Quartermaines. They talk about each other, but close ranks when an interloper like Sasha. Chase says, what they do behind closed doors is her business, but… He takes out his ticket book, and says, disturbing the peace is his. He’s citing her for public disturbance. Be grateful it’s not misdemeanor assault. She can pay online or in person. He hands her the ticket, and she rips it up, saying that’s what she thinks of his ticket.

Maxie tells Mac, she knows how much he loved Holly too. Peter joins them, and Mac asks if he’s feeling better. Peter says, very much so, and Mac asks him to overlook Robert’s words; it’s the grief talking. Peter says he understands. What happened is tragic. Felicia tells Anna, when the shock wears off, they need to have a proper memorial. Not too proper; Holly loved a good time. She asks Anna, what is it? She’s been quiet all night. Anna says she read the report from the WSB about the incident where Holly was killed. Felicia wonders why the WSB is involved, and Anna says, Holly did contract work for them. Felicia asks if Holly was killed while she was working, and Anna says, that’s classified, but let it suffice to say, she saw enough to believe there’s more to the story.

Sonny tells Carly, he’s not ready to make a decision on how Mike should live his final days. He’ll  try to talk to Mike tomorrow. Carly asks if he wants to turn off the TV, so Mike can sleep, but he says, leave it on, in case he wakes up. He looks in on Mike one more time, and they leave.

Brook calls Chase a glorified meter maid, and he tells her that she shouldn’t have done that. She asks if he’s going to write her another ticket for littering, and he says, no. He takes out his handcuffs, and says, she’s under arrest – again.

Nelle sits at the MetroCourt bar, and calls Martin. She says he’s going to be proud. She thinks she may have found a character witness that will make the case a slam dunk. Um… hardly. Not only does Nina have a past of her own, wasn’t she just bamboozled by Sasha? That doesn’t exactly speak to her credibility as a judge of character.

Nina tells Jax, she didn’t tell Nelle that she would testify for her. Jax says she didn’t tell Nelle that she wouldn’t. She says she has a lot think about between now and the morning. he says he admires her compassion, and respects her opinion, but if she gives Nelle the benefit of the doubt, Wiley will end up paying the price. Can she live with that?

Kristina says, Neil lost his license because he and Alexis were involved? Alexis’s phone rings, and she says, it’s Diane; she has to take it. She asks Diane if it’s good news or bad news. She can’t talk; she’s with the girls. They’ll talk tomorrow. Sam asks, what happened? and Alexis says she’s been disbarred.

Tomorrow, Trina tells Portia that she doesn’t trust Jordan, Sasha tells Michael to stop being so nice, and Sonny says the plan is already in motion.

🤽🏻‍♀️ Since Andy Cohen hates me, RHOBH was on at 8 pm with no rerun encore performance tonight. Instead, Summer House had a two-hour finale – a final episode, followed by a reunion at home, doubling as Watch What Happens Live. Why those awful people should be allowed a two-hour block of air time is beyond me. I wasn’t paying a lot of attention, but they had some huge party that I think was supposed to have a rave theme. Unfortunately, this stupidity is being stretched out, with a Secrets Revealed special next week. I don’t want to know.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

It was the weekend of Teddi’s retreat, and she said she wasn’t tolerating any bullsh*t. Sutton decided to apologize to Teddi and go to the retreat, but Teddi acted like the unappreciative jerk she is, and was annoyed. It’s not surprising that she didn’t understand why telling people she didn’t care if they came or not caused a negative reaction. Her own feelings take up so much space, she doesn’t have room to decipher anyone else’s. Dorit was late, which didn’t sit well with Kyle, especially when she saw Dorit’s Instagram. Apparently, her tardiness was due to getting hair and makeup done so she could squeeze in a Glam Barbie photo shoot. Dorit screeched that she had a life, as though no one else did and commitments don’t matter. Oh, wait. That’s right. They don’t to Dorit. To Teddi’s credit, she did explain that she’d been put on the defensive when LisaR asked what if someone came and caused sh*t (the sh*t being caused wasn’t specified). She said it shifted everything for her. Although I stand by my theory that she was breaking up with them before anyone broke up with her, because she’s so insecure and afraid of failure.

After a boxing exercise, where Sutton looked lost, there was I have no idea what, then lunch, and free time in the afternoon for spa treatments, journaling, or whatever. Yeah. Like any of these women are going to write about their feelings when they could be getting a massage. I wouldn’t either. And I like to write. In the evening, there was an hour of meditation, and in her interview, Dorit said that she’d rather go to the DMV for a month than do an hour of meditation. Wow. Either she has one easy time at the DMV, or she can’t sit quietly for an hour. I can’t clear my mind either, but there’s no time for a nap like at meditation. When Dorit said she was going to be leaving early, Kyle called her out, saying she’d been hours late, skipped meditation, and now wanted to leave early. Dorit again said she had a life, adding an effing in there for emphasis. In Kyle’s interview, she said Dorit was shallow and selfish. Erika said it best and simplest when, in her interview, she thought they should just admit no one wants to be there. Although there are two different camps here. The ones who don’t want to be there, but they’re actually being supportive, keeping that to themselves, and participating; and Dorit, who makes it clear she doesn’t want to be there, and pretends she’s being supportive. Actually, there was a third camp. The ones who were supportive from afar.

Amelia was back from NYC, and feeling happier for it. She wanted to get an evaluation. LisaR said, when she’d seen Amelia in the city, she thought Amelia was in trouble. Amelia said, when things get difficult, her decision making tactics shut down. LisaR told Amelia that she barely made it through three months of college, then proceeded to gesture wildly to the paparazzi. Amelia said she was a handful. That’s one word for it.

Garcelle took her sons out for dinner, one of whom informed her he wanted Gucci. She told him, get a job, and he said he was eleven. She was like, exactly. So you don’t need Gucci. So far, I like Garcelle. In her interview, she said she grew up in a strict family with a Black mama who was not playing. She told her sons that they weren’t getting Gucci anything. It’s obnoxious.

Denise was over living in Malibu. She had PTSD from the fire, but didn’t want to move and take the kids out of school. She was getting ready to have everyone over for a not typical Beverly Hills dinner party in the backyard. They were having pizza made in a pizza oven, and a sundae bar that sounded magical. An ice sculpture carved into a huge diamond, like the ones they hold in the opening, was delivered. This thing looked absolutely beautiful after it got dark, and there were lights on it.

Apparently, Dorit had been on repeat, talking about Kyle sharing a bed with Teddi, and Kyle wondered if Dorit was jealous of their friendship. Dorit might be jealous of their more well-behaved children, since Jagger wailed and whined when Dorit had to leave the house. If that’s here effing life, no thanks.

When the women sat down for dinner, sexual exploits were discussed, with Garcelle saying she kissed a girl and liked it when she was a model, and Erika saying she had been part of a threesome with a couple (before Tom). Denise was concerned about the kids overhearing, and in Erika’s interview, she wondered why pearls were being clutched. In Denise’s interview, she says she’s open sexually – we flashed back to last season’s happy ending conversation – but that didn’t mean she wanted her kids hearing it.

Dorit said it was a pattern that Kyle had blind defensiveness when it came to Teddi, and in her interview, said Kyle and Teddi were a package deal. If you had an issue with one, you had an issue with the other, and she was frustrated with it. Kyle was mad at her for being late, when it was Teddi’s event, and Teddi wasn’t mad. Kyle said she was late to do her Glam Barbie look for working out, when she wasn’t going to work out. In her interview, Dorit wondered why TF Kyle cared. Kyle said she didn’t think Dorit was genuine, and Denise asked them to cool it when the kids were around. Erika took up somewhat for Dorit, explaining that Dorit thought Kyle blindly rushed to Teddi’s defense. In Kyle’s interview, she said she lost one of her closest friends defending Dorit, and Dorit had a selective memory. LisaR said Kyle was the same way with her, and defending her sister. Although, that was a whole different thing. LisaR was talking real smack, and it was untrue. Kyle insisted that wasn’t the case, and the text said, to be continued…

Next time, Kyle walks, and Denise gets into it with Kyle. I’m starting to notice, I’m making this more of a personality analysis than a recap.

🛥 FYI, Below Deck Mediterranean will be back this summer.

🧫 In a Time Of Social Distancing…

A different kind of soap is born.


💌 Erika’s Update…

OLTL’s beloved Vicki shares what’s been going on.


💅🏿 You Can’t Keep a Good Housewife Down…

Even during quarantine, there are glam squads and short fuses.



🤦‍♀️ Girl…

While at present, my hair is looking like a horror show, I’m not so sure my stylist is considered an essential worker.


⚰️ Speaking Of Horror…

NOS4A2 is back for a second round.


🐩 All Fashion and No Bite…

A gala attended by a different kind of bitch.


And in case you’re interested in the actual Met Gala fashion.


🦋 Somewhere In the Distance…

Whether you’re working from home or hardly working, know that this too, has an end. Stay on track, stay imaginative, and stay away from those cookies. Here, have a balloon.

April 20, 2020 – Forces Are Joined in Port Charles, Influencers on Deck, Cheri Live, Deckish News, Miami Story & High


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

I missed the beginning, so quickly, her are the highlights. Charlotte is at the MetroCourt with Laura and Lulu, while Ava and Nikolas sit at another table. Nikolas asked Charlotte if the kids were afraid of the snake, but she said they thought it was cool. Chase suggested Willow marry Michael, and said it was her decision, but if she decided not to, she had to step back and let Wiley be Michael’s problem. Anna called Robert, who told her business had called him away, while holding Spinelli against the door. Robert said Spinelli was looking for dirt on Peter. and wanted to know what Spinelli had uncovered so far. I was really disappointed we were shown no panic in the streets because of the snake.

Willow tells Chase, she can’t marry Michael because she’s in love with him, but she can’t step aside and let Wiley be Michael’s problem either. Wiley isn’t a problem; he’s a little boy, unique and wonderful. Seeing him grow and his personality take shape isn’t a problem; it’s a gift. Nelle can’t see that. She believes life has cheated her, and Wiley is her way to get even. That scares Willow as much as Wiley’s heart defect. In some ways, it scares her more.

Nikolas tells Charlotte, he’s sorry they got off on the wrong foot. He’d like to make it up to her. He might not be her secret bodyguard, but they’re still family. Charlotte says, it’s too bad he didn’t tell her that from the start, and turns her back. Ava tells Nikolas, the Borgias were family too, but they still poisoned each other. Nikolas doesn’t think the snake was poisonous, and she asks how he feels about tarantulas. Would he like to snuggle in a bed full of them?

Lulu tells Laura, she didn’t want to say anything in front of Charlotte, but what happened at Laura’s meeting with Valentin? Why did he reach out to Laura, and not her? We flash back to Laura telling Valentin that she deleted the text he’d sent, and came in Lulu’s place. Laura tells Lulu, he didn’t. She intercepted a text intended for Lulu. Lulu asks, why? and Laura says she didn’t want to give Valentin the opportunity to upset Lulu. As it turns out, she thinks Valentin wants the same things they all do; what’s best for Charlotte. Lulu says, Valentin was hoping that Laura would convince her to back off from her petition for full custody? but Laura says, no. It was clear Valentin didn’t plan to go through her. She inserted herself into the situation, and she’s glad she did.

Spinelli tells Robert, Peter and Maxie are going to come back forthwith, and they shouldn’t be there. Robert says Spinelli didn’t see the size of the party. He doubts it. Robert says, admit it; Spinelli is looking for something on Peter. Spinelli says, fine, but so is Robert. Peter is a potential threat to all they hold dear. Dare he say, including Robin’s kith and kin? Since they both want to see Peter get what’s coming to him, what say they stop the squabbling, and join forces?

Maxie says she thinks, as kids parties go, it was pretty successful; the cake, the bounce house, the pony… the goats. Anna says no one expected a snake to come out of Ava’s purse. Maxie thinks it was Nikolas. Everyone knows he and Ava aren’t happily married, but she’s surprised he would do that at a kids party. Peter says it looked like the kids were loving it, and Anna says that’s because Finn intervened before the kids could panic. Robert would have done the same, but he said he got called out to work, although she doubts that’s what it was. Peter flashes back to talking to someone on the phone about distracting Robert. Peter tells Anna, maybe the strain of getting along with him was too much. and Maxie says if it was too much to handle, she’s glad he had the good grace to leave. Peter says he’s just trying to protect Anna, and Anna says, they’re hard wired to protect those they love. Peter says, look at Spinelli. He’s missed no opportunity to say Peter isn’t good enough for Maxie. Maxie says, she set him straight. Peter says, she even threatened to marry him, and Anna asks if she said yes.

Carly asks Michael if Diane doesn’t think it would be important if he gave Wiley a stepmother, to partner with him in providing a safe and secure home. Michael says she does, and Carly says, Willow is not only nurturing and kind, she has the added bonus of a bond with Wiley. He’s known her most of his life; she’s like family to him, and he feels safe with her. Nelle can try, but Willow isn’t just pretty and sweet, but she radiates sincerity. Nelle will look like a phony next to her. Michael says that’s why Willow is going to testify as a character witness and friend, but Carly says, look how much more she could contribute as a wife. He says, what if back in the day, AJ had asked her to marry him, and end things with Jason? She says, that’s not remotely fair, but he asks her to answer. Would she turn her back on Jason, and side with AJ? She says she did. She sued for custody and sided with AJ against Jason. Although she did plan to drive AJ drink to drink, so she could divorce him and get custody of Michael. Michael says, at least don’t pretend it didn’t happen. She says, it blew up in her face, and she almost lost custody of him. He says Willow can’t turn her back on the man she loves to marry him, and Carly says, not even to protect Wiley? We flash back to Michael trying to convince Willow why the marriage is a good idea, and Willow saying, if not for Chase, she’d marry him in a heartbeat. She thinks Chase loves her enough that he would understand, but it’s not about Chase; it’s about her. But if it’s the only way, she’ll do it. Michael tells her, it’s not the only way.

Willow tells Chase, she doesn’t believe Nelle was born bad. She thinks who Nelle is now came from an accumulation of choices. Some, she made herself, but early on, some were made for her. She asks if he knows the saying, hurt people hurt. She thinks it’s true. Nelle was hurt early and often enough, and they all know what she’s capable of. Chase says Willow didn’t turn out like that, and she says, her parents were flaky, not cruel and neglectful. They loved her and taught her what they thought was important. By the time her mother went off the rails with Shiloh and DoD, it was confusing, but it didn’t warp her view of the world. She could still see kindness and love. Chase says, for Nelle, that’s an alien concept. Willow says, what if Nelle does that to Wiley? Takes a beautiful, trusting little boy, and teaches him to be like her?

Maxie tells Anna, she did it to put Spinelli on the spot, not to pressure Peter. Peter says, so she doesn’t want to marry him? and she says, no, it’s not that. She was just explaining why she said it. She hadn’t thought about it. Peter says he had to put Spinelli in his place too. When he was babysitting James, he told Spinelli that he and Maxie are forever. She says he didn’t tell her that, and we flash back to Peter suggesting he and Spinelli hang out some time. They have to be more than cordial, and they’re barely managing. He’s going to be in Georgie’s, James’s, and Maxie’s life permanently. They’re getting married. Peter says, Spinelli was upset and walked out.

Laura tells Lulu, she’s not defending Valentin in any way, but he’s Charlotte’s father, and she loves him. Lulu says, what about him being a terrible influence? but Laura isn’t sure he is. He has his flaws, but he’s a devoted parent. Charlotte is bright and outgoing, and a lot of that is because of him. Valentin walks in, and sees Charlotte. He asks how the party was, and she says she can’t wait to tell him about it. He asks if she’ll go talk to her mom and grandmother for a moment while he has a word with the Cassadines. She goes over to the other table, and Valentin says, stay away from his daughter. Ava says, his little cherub was perfectly fine with them, but Valentin says he doesn’t want Charlotte associating with them. It’s not like Ava is an innocent party. Nikolas says, back off his wife. She’s the innocent party Valentin threw off a parapet. He does remember the night his whole world came crumbling down, doesn’t he?

Jason tells Sonny, Cyrus can’t push Jordan too hard or fast. She could lose her job, and he’d lose the best leverage he has. But Cyrus knows Sonny is under pressure too. He has family in Port Charles, and people he loves who he’s protecting. Everyone is on lockdown, but it can’t last forever. He also knows how Sonny does business; he’s low key and quiet. That might put him in a position where he has to negotiate. Sonny says, only to a point.

Sonny says, he’d rather avoid a war. It’s bad for business, it costs money, and people make mistakes. Some don’t learn. If Cyrus wants to fight, Sonny will take him down like he has everybody before him. Jason asks if he’s going to refuse the meeting, but Sonny says, set it up for tonight. They’ll see how motivated Cyrus is, and go from there. Carly comes in, and asks if she’s interrupting. Jason says they were just finishing up, and tells Sonny, he’ll make the call. He leaves, and Carly asks if everything is okay. Sonny says, it’s business; he’s handling it. Carly tells him, Wiley will probably come home tomorrow, and nothing has gotten better regarding the custody hearing. The best option is one Michael won’t pursue.

Valentin tells Nikolas, everyone knows they sleep in separate beds, and spend their days ripping each other apart. He walks away, and Ava says, it sounds like the marriage they both deserve. Nikolas says they have no more secrets, but Ava says, one or two, but maybe it’s time to review things, and make changes.

Lulu asks what Ava and Nikolas said to Charlotte, and she says, nothing much. They’re just saying mean things to each other. It’s not fair. Windymere was better when she, papa, and Nina were there. Lulu says, drastic change can be unsettling. She knows how it feels, and hates when it happens. Valentin stops by, and Lulu says Charlotte is dying to tell him about the birthday party. Charlotte wishes he could have been there. He missed all the fun. He says, cake, ice cream, and games? but she says, that wasn’t the fun part. Lulu says, there was the snake, and Valentin says, Ava didn’t mention there was a snake. Lulu says, it was in Ava’s purse. They have no idea how it got there. Valentin looks at Charlotte like, hmm…

Robert asks why he would pair up with Spinelli when his scheme failed? He’s a wiz in cyberspace, but when he’s on the ground, he’s out of his depth. Spinelli says the criticism is warranted, and Robert says, they’re looking out for the people they care about. Robert stumbled on him, and if it was that easy, Peter could do the same. We flash back to Peter suggesting that if he and Spinelli can’t tolerate each other, Maxie will be forced to make a choice. He’s comfortable with that. Is Spinelli? Spinelli tells Robert, he’s not afraid of Peter, but Robert says, he should be. He not only comes from bad stock, he aided and abetted Shiloh, and put Drew in the ground. Spinelli says he’s acting on behalf of his daughter, and Robert asks how he’s going to do that if Robert arrests him? Spinelli says, it’s Robert’s choice, but he might have to explain why he was breaking and entering. Robert calls Spinelli a little runt, and asks if Spinelli is trying to blackmail him. Spinelli supposes he is.

Willow tells Chase, she’s seen it over and over, parents influencing a child for better or worse. There’s a kid in the hospital, he’s bright, and his parents want to find him a tutor so he gets into a good college. Did she mention he’s twelve? She’s watched the parents crush his creativity, possibly his soul. There’s nothing she can say, but with Wiley, it’s different. She can have a say. He says, only if Michael wins, and she says she doesn’t need to marry him. Michael told her that she didn’t. He has the best lawyers and resources, and he’s sure he can be heard. Which is what she needs to tell herself instead of freaking out over the worst case. Chase says, sounds like a plan, and she says, speaking of plans, the wine guy texted her, and there’s a good bottle ordered for tonight. He asks when wine guy started texting her? and she says, don’t be jealous. They kiss, and Chase says he’ll have the wine waiting when she gets home. Willow starts to walk away, but turns back. She thanks him for the talk. She needed it more than she knew.

Maxie tells Anna, the kids want to stay and play with Violet some more. They’re due for a major sugar crash, so Peter put their shoes on. When the kids are ready, they can just scoop them up and go. Anna compliments Maxie’s parenting skills, and Maxie says it was Peter’s idea. Anna says she knows it’s difficult for Peter to be comfortable with a loving family, she’s glad he’s adjusted. Maxie asks, what’s wrong? and Anna says they’re dancing around the idea of marriage. She understands that as adults, they try to protect their hearts, but words like married and forever mean more to Peter than Maxie realizes or Peter knows. Peter comes back downstairs, and says, the kids are ready. What did he miss?

Valentin asks Charlotte, what about a snake? Laura’s phone rings, and she says she has to take it. She steps away, and Lulu says she’d like to speak to Nikolas, giving Valentin her seat. He asks how Charlotte supposes the snake got in Ava’s purse? She says, it wasn’t poisonous, and he asks how she knows. She says they’ve been studying them in science. He says, that explains something. He gets alerts whenever Charlotte makes a purchase. He knows she bought something at Roger’s Reptile Roundabout.

Lulu asks if Ava is okay after the snake thing. Ava thanks her for asking; she appreciates Lulu’s concern. She looks at Nikolas, who says he thinks it was a prank, albeit in bad taste. Lulu says, no real damage was done. Like when Nikolas told Charlotte that he was her secret bodyguard, and made her believe he’d always be there, except when she threw herself in the harbor and he was nowhere around. Nikolas says he apologized, and Lulu says, to her, but not to Charlotte. Ava says he just tried to, but he’d stayed away out of concern for Charlotte’s well-being. Lulu says, he never gave Charlotte a second thought, except as a means to take down her father. She has no sympathy for Valentin, but Nikolas isn’t much better. Ava asks who Lulu is to judge. What makes her the arbiter of right and wrong? Back the hell off.

Willow arrives at the hospital, and Michael says, perfect timing. He was just going to text her. He asks if there’s any chance they could meet up tonight, and talk through her testimony, so she gets an idea what he’s hoping for before she’s grilled on the stand. She asks if there’s any chance they could do it tomorrow. She and Chase have plans.

Sasha approaches Chase in the park, wearing a button-down shirt in a plaid that I’m in love with, and Chase says, Michael told Willow that he can beat Nelle without marrying her. Sasha says, he’s lying, and Chase says he figured. Nelle is emotionally damaged, and she’s going to emotionally damage Wiley. It will destroy Willow, and possibly break her. Sasha says, Michael too, and he says, they’re the only ones in the position to stop it. Is she good with that? She says, good? No, but she’s absolutely committed.

Maxie says, Peter spoiled the surprise. Anna saved them four goodie bags; he gets the one with the licorice whistle. He says he hates licorice, and she says she knows. She tells him to get the car, while she gets the sleepyheads. He tells Anna, it was an exhausting experience, but fun. She says, one of many more. He says he knows she’s worried, and she says she’s seen how hard he’s worked to be the man he is. She’s not letting anyone take that from him.

Robert tells Spinelli, he doesn’t respond well to threats, and Spinelli suggests he consider the advantages of working together to safeguard the ones they hold dear. Robert says Spinelli is a loose cannon and a kook. Spinelli says, in cyberspace, he has no equal. They can take down that lying weasel once and for all, if they combine their skills. He suggests they shake on their most fearsome partnership, but Robert says, it’s not partnership. If he says, jump, Spinelli asks, how high. Is he clear? Spinelli says, crystal. He has one small suggestion; that they search in haste before Peter and Maxie get back. But Robert says, whatever Peter is hiding, it’s not there. They leave, and in the hallway, Robert’s phone rings. He asks, who is this?

Ava tells Nikolas, his family needs a reset. Instead of having Laura and Doc for dinner, why don’t they have a big event? A spring fling at Windymere. She can unveil her new portrait. Lulu says, she has a portrait? and Nikolas says, Franco is painting it. Ava says they’ll have to invite Franco and Elizabeth, and Lulu says, Elizabeth and Nikolas were close, back when Elizabeth was a good influence on him. Too bad he takes after Ava now. She leaves, and Nikolas says, actually, it’s ridiculous for Ava to unveil her portrait. Don’t expect his family to show up to celebrate.

Valentin says, Charlotte bought a snake, and she says, yes, but it was for the classroom terrarium. All of the kids contributed. He tells her, don’t lie. That’s not the reason. She put it in Ava’s purse; why? She says she doesn’t like Ava. She’s not family, and she and Nikolas are big, fat liars. They’re thieves, and stole everything. Now Valentin and Nina will never get married.

Carly tells Sonny, Wiley is out of danger, but will probably need additional surgery. She knows what it’s like, and they have to stay vigilant. They can’t afford for Nelle to get custody. They can’t trust her to make important decisions concerning Wiley. Sonny says, Diane will make that argument to the judge, and do it better. She says, Diane said Michael’s chances are slightly more than 50%. Sonny says, Diane always gives the worst case, so she looks better. Carly says, she’d agree if it was a criminal case, but this is family court. What if the judge believes Nelle’s sob story? She could win joint custody.

Michael tells Willow, it’s totally fine. They’ll set something up for another time. He says, it’s Wiley’s last night in the hospital; he gets to go home tomorrow. maybe she wants to say hi. She says, tomorrow will be Wiley’s first night home, and the last night they can discuss her testimony. Michael says he thought it would be hopeful to talk through it, but the best thing she can do is be herself. She asks what time he wants to meet, and he says they don’t have to. She says she wants to, and Chase will understand. Maybe they can bring the wine by tomorrow, and the four of them can celebrate Wiley’s homecoming. Michael says, sounds like a plan.

Peter asks Maxie what she and Anna were really talking about. Maxie says Anna was reminding her of how special he is, and they kiss.

Anna answers the door to Robert, who looks awful. She asks, what is it? and he says he has terrible news. Holly is dead. Anna hugs him.

Ava tells Nikolas, just when she thought they had a shot at being civil, he resorts to sniping insults. He says he struck a nerve, and she says he can doggy paddle to Spoon Island. She’s taking the launch, but don’t expect it back anytime soon.

Valentin tells Charlotte, he knows she’s disappointed. He is too, but it’s not entirely Ava’s fault. She asks why he’s making excuses for Ava. Ava is his enemy.

Jason comes back, and tells Sonny, it’s all set. Carly says, please be careful. Sonny’s phone rings. It’s Turning Woods, and he asks if it’s about his father. He listens, and says he’ll be right there. He tells Carly and Jason, his dad had another fall. They think it was a seizure.

Willow walks into the apartment, saying, she hopes Chase didn’t open the wine yet. She finds Sasha and a shirtless Chase lying down on the couch, kissing.

Tomorrow, Charlotte tells Valentin, it’s not what he said, it’s what he did; Josslyn asks what strategy Michael is talking about; and Cyrus tells Julian, they have an opportunity for collaboration.

Below Deck Sailing Yacht

I’m going to start calling Captain Glenn just Glenn going forward. Maybe it’s not noticeable, but I’ve always put Captain in front of Lee and Sandy’s names out of respect. I was doing the same for Glenn, but in this episode, I found out he doesn’t really like being addressed that way. TBH, it makes it easier on me too, but if he hadn’t given his okay, I wouldn’t have changed it.

Glenn tells Parker that he has an attitude problem, and he’s on thin ice already. Glenn isn’t convinced Parker can do the job, but it’s up to him. Parker says he’s trying to determine if he should take his tips and run finish on this note, or chance it, where he’ll be under twice as much pressure. Life too short to be around people who don’t want to be around him. Glenn says, it’s his decision if he wants to give his resignation. In his interview, Glenn says he doesn’t like to lead by fear. He wants Parker to take ownership of his decision. He tells Parker to take some time to think about it.

Madison wants to stay outside the boat drama. Adam is wondering if Parker is going to be packing his sh*t. Georgia wants to say goodbye if Parker is going. In Madison’s interview, she says it bothers her that Parker could be getting fired. He’s had her back on the boat. She and Ciara lie in the sun on deck. Parker radios Glenn, and says as far as his well-being goes, he thinks he needs to resign. Glenn says he understands, and in Parker’s interview, he says certain people have expressed they don’t need him. He thinks it’s effed up, and he doesn’t want his attitude to put him in a situation where he gets fired. He gives Glenn an it’s-not-you-it’s-me speech, and Glenn says he thinks it’s the best decision for Parker. In Glenn’s interview, he says he’s relieved. If Parker doesn’t feel he can change, the best thing is to get a replacement. He hopes Parker can learn to get on with people; it’s a part of any industry. Parker tells Paget that he’s resigning, and says goodbye. Paget mumbles that he’ll just get another d*ckhead. Parker tells Adam that he’s taking a sabbatical. He suggests Adam and Jenna have a baby, so he can be a weird uncle. I’m sure that’s an innocent remark, but he might want to rephrase that. Adam says he likes this Parker better. In Adam’s interview, he says he’s not surprised Parker couldn’t cut it. He’s surprised it took this long though. Glenn says, it takes a special breed of person to do this, and not lose their cool.

Madison asks, what’s going on? and Parker says he’s resigning. She says she’s going to miss him, and they hug. In her interview, she says, there goes her buddy. Now she and Georgia are officially the third couple on the boat. Paget tells Ciara he thinks Parker will be happier for it, and everyone else will too. In Ciara’s interview, she says she’s not surprised, but she’s disappointed he didn’t stick it out. Madison tells him, go be a rock star. In Parker’s interview, he says he didn’t quit. He resigned, and there’s a difference. Quitting is an act you do when you’re scared. Resigning means stopping… with positive energy. I don’t know whether to give him a pacifier and a blankie, or a smiley face T-shirt. He says he doesn’t know what’s next. He’s going to rekindle his love of the perfect girl for him, and being the best Parker he can be. I guess I’ll just park(er) him in front of Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood reruns.

Glenn gets on the phone, and says he’s looking for someone asap. Jenna says, all of Parker’s sh*t has to be cleaned, and in her interview, Georgia says, they haven’t even laid him in the ground yet. The crew gets ready for dinner.

Paget says, Parker took the easy way out. He likes training people, but it was a waste of time. They go on shore, and find a restaurant. There’s an empty chair, and Jenna says she guesses Parker didn’t feel like coming. Paget says Parker actually made the decision. He lasted this long, and Paget tried to help him as much as he could. Jenna says, if you don’t have the type of personality that fits in, you get cut. In Madison’s interview, she asks, why are they sh*tting on someone who can’t defend themselves? Jenna says, the number one tip is, STFU. Byron says, that’s great advice. Ciara and Paget, and Jenna and Adam decide to go back to the boat. Georgia and Madison go to a club, and drink some more. On the boat, Adam and Jenna change and retire to the master. In his interview, Adam tells us, when you slide into the sweat pant phase, you know you love each other. Madison and Georgia meander back to the boat.

The next morning, Adam says, no Parker, no skidmarks, no problems. Glenn tells Jenna, he’s glad Parker made the call, because he would have had to. He’s got a British guy lined up; Chris. In Glenn’s interview, he says he expects the crew to be friendly and welcoming. He wants to make sure what happened with Parker doesn’t happen again. They check out Chris’s Instagram, and he looks like a fun and adventurous dude. Paget says, no breastfeeding jokes. Jenna asks if Georgia will flirt with the new guy, and Georgia says that’s natural for her. She says, he’d better not be an absolute d*ck or an absolute bitch.

Paget meets Chris on the dock, and in his interview, Paget says, working on yachts, coming in mid-season can be tricky. Either you make friends for life, or enemies you want to throw off the boat. He says Chris seems to be sunshiny, but once you’ve been in the industry for a while, you become a grumpy bastard. Madison tells Chris, welcome to the craziness. Paget asks if he has any issues, and Chris says he has a dodgy back, but he does stretches and keeps moving. Paget says he’s seen that a lot in the industry. Madison and Georgia feed each other strawberries in the galley. In Paget’s interview, he says Chris has got experience, and knows a lot. It’s refreshing. He shows Chris around the boat.

Glenn has a preference sheet meeting with Jenna, Adam, Byron, and Paget. The primary is Lyndi, a wardrobe consultant and blogger. Her boyfriend Jesse, and friends Missy and Jonathan will be joining them. Apparently the women are well-known influencers. They’re looking forward to jumping off the boat, and also want to post pictures and videos to their blogs. In his interview, Glenn says he’s not a selfie person. He doesn’t like being in photos. Me neither. Paget says, they also want a scenic background during dinner. Jenna says, Lyndi wants a Coachella party, with entertainment, and Glenn suggests Paget and Georgia provide it.

In the crew mess, Adam asks Chris if he has any food restrictions, and Chris says, no. Adam says, good; he wouldn’t fix it anyway, and goes into the galley. Georgia says, it’s okay to use the hot tub when there are no guests, and Madison says, apparently, it’s okay to use the master too. Adam says he can hear her, and if she has a problem, she can talk to him. She says she doesn’t care, and he says, then stop talking about it. He asks if she can go a day without creating some kind drama. In Adam’s interview, he says, if Jenna says they can use the master, then they can. Madison’s opinion is on the deepest back burner. Madison says she wasn’t talking sh*t. He asks if she can go thirty minutes. In Madison’s interview, she asks, what boat have they been on that using the master is okay? Everyone goes to bed, and being Adam’s new roommate, Chris says he doesn’t want to piss off the chef.

The next morning, Chris is ready for a fun day. Jenna asks if he gets offended if anyone curses. He isn’t, but wonders about the question. Paget says, Georgia flirts with any guy who has a penis. Chris thinks it’s the right level of crazy, and Georgia says, it’s a good start. Glenn thinks things will be fine. Adam tells Jenna about Madison telling the crew they were sleeping in the master, and he said he could effing hear her. Georgia decides to help with the cushion covers. Adam says he told Madison if she wants to talk, bring it up to her. In Jenna’s interview, she says during the last charter, Madison worked to turn herself around, and now she’s injecting herself into Jenna’s personal life. Mind your own business. She jokes-not-jokes, Madison must be punished for this behavior. Chris asks how the captain prefers to be addressed, and Glenn says, just Glenn. Paget says he doesn’t like a title; he’s human like the rest of them. Jenna tells Georgia she wants her to be more involved in service.

Provisions come in. Jenna tells Madison that Georgia wants to learn more about service. In Madison’s interview, she says, suddenly, Georgia wants to learn about service? It can’t be because Madison and Adam had a tiff. Interesting. Glenn tells everyone to change into their polos, and the guests arrive. Madison says, smile and wave. Adam says, they’re from southern California, and Chris asks if they’ll be difficult. Adam says, it’s about as difficult as America gets. In Adam’s interview, he says, high maintenance has a walk and a look. It just walked on the boat. Jenna gives the tour.

Adam makes fruit and cheese plates, and Glenn says they’ll get going soon. While hanging up the guests’ clothing, Georgia marvels at how neatly they packed. In Jenna’s interview, she says, hashtag, cute; hashtag, yacht party. She bets they’re good at living their authentic lives. The boat shoves off. Adam tells the guests to be prepared to eat a lot, and Lyndi  thinks he’s adorable, but he’s going to get her fat. He says, if he’s making it, she’s eating it.

In his interview, Chris says he spent his teen years sailing and racing. The last racing boat he was on was very 80s. It was everything physical, and gives him the tingles. Lyndi squeaks to the other women that Adam is adorable, and they go in search of him. Jenna tells Adam, omigod! So cute! and he says, have no fear. That’s not his style. Georgia sees them kiss, and walks past the galley faster. The sails go up. Ciara tells Glenn about the sails, and in his interview, he says he doesn’t want to stop Ciara. It’s good to learn new things about a boat, but some things, he knows. Glenn explains sailing to the guests, and Adam says starboard is his favorite lean; he leans into his cutting board.

Ciara says she’s glad to have someone who knows what they’re doing on deck. Missy giggles, and asks where the galley is. Jenna discourages them in a roundabout way. Glenn tells the deckhands to set up the rope swing, and Jesse is first to jump in the water, followed by Jonathan, while the girls giggle (there’s no better word for it). I swear, it’s only been five minutes, but if I hear cute one more time… Ciara puts deodorant on the outside of her thermal top, and I feel confused. In Glenn’s interview, he says he’s just figured out Instagram, and he knows the guests are concerned with how their photos look. He’s thinking if the stern is pointed toward the town during dinner, the town will be lit up, and make a great background. The trick is a good stern tie. You put a chain over a rock, attach a line, and bring it back to the boat. It sounds easy, but in practice, it never is. He asks the deckhands to tie the stern. Paget tells Chris that his spirit is helping them; he’s impressed. In Paget’s interview, he says there are multiple things going on at once, and he’s the eyes of the operation from the tender. The NautiBuoy (floating platform) starts hitting the rocks. Chris jumps onto it, and Glenn radios Paget that he’s Glenn’s eyes and ears; he needs the information. Paget is pissed at himself; it’s embarrassing. What a sh*t show. In Glenn’s interview, he says Paget did a great job, but he’s suffering from agitation. He let it get to him. He tells Byron, Paget is puling a Parker.

Meanwhile, at a nearby island, Parker and Kaiti do some snorkeling. Parker proposes underwater, and she says yes. In his interview, Parker says she’s the perfect girl for him. She loves him being ridiculous. She parties hard, and loves all people. She loves the planet, nature, and animals.

In Glenn’s interview, he says, it’s encouraging to see Chris in the mix. Chris knows what he’s doing. If this is any indication how he’s going to perform for the rest of the season, they’re in good hands. Adam tells Madison what place settings are needed, and Glenn helps the deckhands move out chairs for dinner, as well as putting several tables together for a dining table. Jenna puts on a tablecloth, and uses tiny grapevine balls with fairy lights in the centerpiece. I love them. I have those hanging on my back patio.

Jesse tells Lyndi that he loves her, and she says… okay. What? Some little woman named Evangyline, or something like that, takes photos. I don’t know who she is, but her appearance is the complete opposite of these statuesque blondes. She toasts to amazing friends. Missy says there’s a space in her heart that they fill, and Lyndi says some corny stuff. I can’t take their voices. Adam brings up the first course. Georgia does laundry. Jesse posts a bunch of content, and the girls are upset that he didn’t tag them. He says he doesn’t know how the tag machine works. Missy squeals when Adam comes up with the entrée. Lyndi says she loves him. It’s swordfish and asparagus, so I love him too. Jesse tells her, lock it up, and she says she’ll do the opposite. She’ll do what Adam tells her to do. Jesse asks if he means nothing, and she wants someone else. Tell him now. In Jenna’s interview, she says they’re in an argument about her boyfriend, and it’s super awkward. Her boyfriend is off the table.

Next time, Chris asks if Georgia wants to go to a fish foot spa, Madison say she’s in a coupled-up crew, Jesse asks Lyndi to marry him, and Adam acts stupid.

📡 I’m loving Watch What Happens Live these days, with everyone filming from home. Not only do I get to see something personal about the guests, everyone seems extra relaxed. Well, except for Kristen Johnston, who gripped her dog for dear life. Tonight, the show ended with Cheri Oteri doing her Barbara Walters impression, while her dog suddenly began to photobomb from the patio door. It was priceless.

⛵️ Beyond the Sail…

Parker has moved on from his mom. Maybe.


Meet new deckhand Chris.


🏝 Leaving Miami…

A vague explanation as to why The Real Housewives of Miami is no more.


🚬 Smoke ‘Em If You Got ‘Em…

I’d be remiss in not giving a nod to 420 2020. Warning: Lyrics may be offensive. But I find this song funny as hell. Stay safe out there, in there, or up there.

April 17, 2020 – The Shahs Do Hawaii, WOTN, Found, All About Garcelle, Busy Docs, Vicky Stalled, Second Time, BH BS, Years Of Wives, Moneymaker, Go Pink, Broadway Cares, Eight Whole Quotes & Seven Days


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


Shahs of Sunset

Mike and Paulina go for coffee with pup Whiskey, who is absolutely adorable and surprisingly well-behaved. Mike asks how she felt about seeing everyone at Boots and Brews, and we flash back to that. Paulina thinks they’re dramatic, and Mike says they’ve gone through so much drama, the friendships have been tainted somewhat, but he still loves them. in Mike’s interview, he says they have to start communication, healing, and moving forward. He tells Paulina that he’s planned a trip for her birthday to Hawaii, and she says, how fun. He tells her that he’s invited the crew, and she says Mike is in his early 40s. Come on. He says, it will be an excuse to regroup. The bullsh*t is getting old. In his interview, he says, it’s common sense that just the two of them on the trip would be romantic, but he loves his friends, and wants to show them a great time. Risking Paulina’s love for the love of his friends is a catch-22. He tells her that he wants to share their happiness with his friends, and start fresh. She says, they’ll make it fun.

Nema and Mona’s mom Moshgan is visiting from upstate new York. In his interview, Nema says, when his mom comes to town, she likes to soak up family and kid time. Moshgan says, it’s been the best trip, and she’s been getting in some sun worship. Nema says they’d love it if she made it a permanent thing. Mona says, when she has kids, Moshgan is going to move there. Moshgan tells Nema, if he doesn’t have kids, when he gets old he’ll just have his dog. In Nema’s interview, he says after their parents divorced, his sister stayed with his mom in New York, while he went with their dad to California. It caused damage and trauma that he can’t put into words. Nema says he doesn’t want to upset Moshgan, but his childhood was so traumatic, it strengthened his resolve not to have kids. Moshgan says she’s sorry, but he can’t use what happened in the past to affect what happens with the rest if his life. Nema says it’s hard to hear her say, just get over it, but she says she’s not saying that. She wrote him a letter two years ago about what happened. It was emotional, and it took time; did he read it? He says, it’s frustrating for him to hear that it’s been two years. In his interview, he says he’s too worried about what it says to read it. He’s afraid he’ll read something he can’t come back from. It might taint his relationship with his dad, which is already not strong. Moshgan says, if he wants to know what happened, read her six-page letter.

Destiney meets with MJ at a smoothie place. MJ says she likes Destiney’s energy, and feels like they’re on the same page. She wants them to be good friends in a good place. A lot of lies happened, and it’s where things went south. In MJ’s interview, she says she apologized to Reza at Boots and Brews. We flash back to that, and MJ says, now she wants to open the line of communication, and fix things with Destiney. She tells Destiney, she’s  there to apologize, and be transparent. Something small between Ali and Reza evolved into giant nonsense toxic bullsh*t. After the crying and confrontation that happened, she doesn’t want it to be the same thing. In Destiney’s interview, she says she thought she and MJ were like sisters. We see clips from their relationship over the years, and Destiney says, MJ hurt and betrayed her. MJ doesn’t see it, or she’s acting like she doesn’t, and Destiney doesn’t trust her. She tells MJ, she thought MJ had her back, and they were sisters, then sh*t happened. Ali walks in, and Destiney looks shocked. In her interview, Destiney says whatever MJ and Ali have cooked up, she wants no part of it.

MJ goes to the counter to order, and Ali asks how Destiney is. In MJ’s interview, she says, ultimately, she wants both of them in her life. She’s missed Destiney, and her intention is to fix this. When she comes back to the table, MJ says she wants full transparency from everyone. Destiney says she wants to figure out what’s going on, and where they all stand. MJ says she knew Ali had an issue with Reza, and wanted to talk to Destiney, so she said, go for it, but be ready to be real. Destiney says she let her emotions take ahold of her, and regrets how it came off. MJ says, the negativity has been toxic and poisonous. From her perspective of the big picture, Ali had been a close friend, but told Reza she’d said she was concerned about his marriage. Ali says he did improvise there, and MJ tells him, don’t drag her name into it, and say it’s about her concerns. In Destiney’s interview, she says, MJ is making sh*t up to save herself. Ali had said MJ put him up to it, but now he’s kissing MJ’s ass. Ali says he’s sorry he drew that conclusion, and MJ says she wants to be friends, and be on the same page. She asks Destiney if she can have a hug, and Destiney reluctantly gets up. They hug, and Destiney asks MJ to promise she has good intentions. In her interview, Destiney says she wants to believe MJ has good intentions, but deep down, she’s not comfortable.

Adam comes home to Reza, Smokey, and Miss Moo. In Reza’s interview, he wishes he could say things are amazing, but they’re not. He tells Adam that he’s going to be gone next week, so no naked Jenga when he’s not there. In his interview, Reza says he’s committed to and loves his husband. He hopes in time, this will be a distant memory. He asks Adam when they’re going to play naked Jenga, and Adam says he wants to have a conversation about that. Reza says he sounds serious, but Adam says, not as serious as Reza is making it sound, and they sit. Adam says when he went through his texts, he saw Ali was right. He did mention naked whatever, but he said immediately that he was joking. Reza says he doesn’t care about Ali; he cares about Adam doing things that make people think he doesn’t have respect for their marriage. He doesn’t like finding out his husband was potentially engaging in inappropriate behavior. People divorce over these kinds of issues, and it literally plants the seed of doubt and paranoia in someone’s head. Adam asks Reza to stop and listen, instead of shutting down. When Reza gets angry, he doesn’t listen. He interrupts and says Adam’s not making sense. He says he knows Reza mentioned a trip to Hawaii, and Reza says it would be making more of a statement if he didn’t go, and would become a big deal. He and MJ were at the Boots and Brews thing together, and he doesn’t want it to be an issue in the group. Adam says he needs to get something off his chest. He never wants MJ there again. Reza says, it’s Adam’s house too. If Adam doesn’t want her there, no problem. Right now, they’re not in a great place anyway. Adam says, if MJ and Reza get back to a good place, that’s fine, but he doesn’t want her to be around. He can never talk to her again; not even a hello. In his interview, Reza says he wants to respect his husband, but at the same time, he has a yearning for someone who used to be bigger in his life, and it’s something painful to process.

Nema and Mike head into a clinic, and Nema says, real men get Botox together. In Mike’s interview, he says he’s 41, and wants to keep it looking young. Nema says he’s stoked for Hawaii. Mike asks if Mona is coming, but Nema says Mona is mad at him. He sent his parents a text saying they screwed up his life; he has a lot of anger under the surface. Mike says he uses it to justify keeping his life from them. Nema says, if he didn’t care, it would be easy, and Mike says, it’s causing stress, and stress is going to kill him. In his interview, Mike says Nema is a good dude, but he doesn’t understand his Persian parents. They had to flee their country, and started with nothing. It’s hard for people to understand the struggles they face. He tells Nema, when you’re young and in a new country with no money, it’s difficult. They didn’t know any better; he can’t blame them. He needs to have an open heart and mind. Nema says his mom wrote him a letter, talking about her feelings on her end. In Nema’s interview, he says he was finally ready to read it, but it was frustrating. He reads from the letter, his mom writing that watching him leave was the hardest experience of her life, and has haunted her for twenty-five years. She was only twenty-five and powerless. She went back and forth to see him, and worked 70 and 80 hours a week, often the third shift, in order to afford the trip, because she had no assistance. Nema says, but it doesn’t address why he and Mona were separated. He hates the letter because it doesn’t give him an ounce of closure. Mike says, life is short. He prays Nema finds it in his heart to forgive. Come to Hawaii, and chill out. Nema says he’s going to eat his body weight in sushi. The doctor comes in, and Nema says they’re here for a tune-up. Mike looks skeptical, but gets the Botox. He says, Hawaii, here we come.

Destiney, Sara, GG, and MJ meet Paulina for a girls night out. Mike told her to go for a night out with the girls before they leave, and just have a good time. In Destiney’s interview, she says since she and Sara’s brother are no longer talking, hopefully Sara will be in a better mood. They sit outside, and MJ says it’s her first girls night out since having the baby. Tommy’s dad is watching Shams. In GG’s interview, she says MJ doing what she did is one thing – we flash back to MJ’s concern for GG when she got sick at Boots and Brews – but her taking it as an honest gesture is another thing. She’s definitely over having enemies. It’s a heavy burden to carry. They clink glasses, and toast to girls night; no boys. There’s silence, and Sara says, it’s gorgeous, but chilly, and they decide to go inside. MJ shows them how she can line her lips without using a mirror, and GG says she has skills. MJ asks if GG is feeling better, and GG says, it was an effed up situation. Paulina says she didn’t know anything about it, and GG explains that she had her fallopian tubes removed. The baby was seven weeks when she ruptured, so she’d barely been pregnant. It was a fluke of nature, since ectopic pregnancies are rare. MJ is sorry that GG went through that. In MJ’s interview, she says she feels compassion for everything GG has been through. She tells GG, it sucks they’re not closer. They could have had their experiences together. GG says she’s sorry, and admits there’s a jealousy factor. She would have rather had a child at the end. She’s read to give a baby love. MJ says she’s sure it will be a reality for GG soon, and asks if she can give GG a hug. When they hug, MJ says she didn’t know GG was getting pregnant, and GG asks if that would have made MJ not be mean to her. In her interview, GG says, for many years, she and MJ had a toxic friendship, but GG is a different person now. She doesn’t want MJ as an enemy or a friend. The best thing is to let it go. The girls toast to Paulina’s birthday.

Nema goes to see therapist Todd. He tells Todd that his mom is in town. He wishes it meant more than it does, but he’s frustrated and on edge. Todd asks how often Nema has discussed it with his mom, and Nema says she wrote him a letter on her feelings. She said, when his parents were going through the break-up, Nema’s dad reached out to his grandfather for assistance, and suggested his dad do him the favor of taking the kids to Iran for a month, while they figured things out. She was against it, but they convinced her it was a good idea not to let the kids see them fighting. It was only supposed to be one month, while they figured it out. His first response was wondering how one month turned into nine. His second response was that he’s thirty-six, and still dealing with the fallout. That they did this because they didn’t want the kids to see them arguing makes him angry, and prevents him from having a conversation with them. He’s more angry at his dad. He has an early memory of going to the grocery store with his grandfather, and there being an Iranian guard with an AK-47, watching people. Todd says, he’s in this new world, and the transition didn’t include a conversation about it. His mom laid it out, and wants him to understand where she’s coming from. Nema doesn’t want to be mad, but can’t avoid it. Nema says he has two volumes. One is, he doesn’t give a sh*t, and the other is, listen MF’er. It’s either zero or ten. Todd says, when we bury emotions, they manifest, and he needs to release it. Nema says, the status quo isn’t working. In his interview, Nema says he’s tired of being the victim of what’s happened to him. He’s been angry too long. Todd says if he has a conflict, he needs to put it out there and articulate what’s bothering him. In Nema’s interview, he says he needs his parents to come together, so he can ask why they did it, and tell them why it was wrong. That’s closure. He tells Todd, one step at a time.

As Mike packs, he realizes he always wears black T-shirts. Paulina says, that’s all he needs.

Reza packs 10,000 pairs of shoes. In his interview, he says, he’s not excited about the trip. He and MJ barely scratched the surface in moving forward, but their history makes it worth going.

MJ tells assistant Sienna, it’s weird. Hawaii is where she wanted to go with Reza, Adam, and Tommy, since neither couple had a honeymoon. Obviously, they’re not going on a honeymoon together. In her interview, she says, hopefully, they’ll get where they need to be. She tells Sienna, they’re going to be staying at a multimillion dollar property, and she wants to get back to when their moments of having fun and making fun of each other. She’s not leaving her newborn for no reason. She’s investing in their friendship. In MJ’s interview, she says she doesn’t want to leave Baby Shams for five minutes, but she knows she needs to do this for the friendship. She’ll do or say whatever it takes to help fix things.

Mike says when they travel as a group, they always act the fool. He’s hoping everyone gets along, and Paulina experiences the amazingness of his friends that he’s told her about. In Reza’s interview, he says he plans to be cordial, and ease into interaction with MJ. They fly to the island of Hawaii, and take a limo bus to the property.

Homeowner Goldie greets them, and they’re given leis by the cultural attaché Stephanie. In Nema’s interview, he says, the vibe with MJ and Reza is like an unexpected run-in with an ex. You don’t expect it to be cool, but it’s awkward. Stephanie welcomes them, and says they’re going to do a traditional Hawaiian greeting. They’re to pair up, and touch foreheads, nose to nose; inhale and exhale, then hug. In his interview, Reza says he was hoping to ease into the interaction, but it’s like, boom! Forehead to forehead. Nema and GG face each other. In his interview, Nema says he and GG are in a great place now. In GG’s interview, she says, after a few drinks, she could see Nema as bedroom worthy, but that’s as far as she’ll go.

MJ texts Tommy, asking how Shams is. I covet GG’s headband with two palm trees sticking up from it. Tommy texts back that Shams is great, and tells MJ to have fun. As usual, the food spread is fabulous, as is the property. Everything is beyond. Nema says, it’s going to be fat Nema resurrected in Hawaii. GG says she got fun headbands for the girls, and tattoos for the guys. MJ chooses a headband with flamingos, and I want that one too. Reza approaches MJ, and says he wants a grown up conversation with two people who are special to him. He asks why MJ and Destiney are still engaging with someone who didn’t have his best interest at heart? We flash back to two minutes ago, when Destiney, Ali, and MJ got together, and in Destiney’s interview, she says she tells Reza everything. MJ wonders, instead of confronting his friend of thirty years, why isn’t he saying Ali must be full of sh*t? Why didn’t he come to her? Reza asks why MJ and Ali are super tight, and in MJ’s interview, she says few people showed up at her father’s deathbed. Ali showed up in ways none of her other friends did. MJ says Reza has done stuff to her in the past, but when he came for her, she did nothing. There are certain things she resents, but if she wanted to get mad and screw him over, she would have done it then.

Mike says, this is killing him, and Paulina asks if they’re done. Everyone disperses, and Mike tells them to figure out the room situation among themselves. The rooms are incredible, and the views are stunning. I can’t imagine ever being rich enough to go there, but if that happened, you’d have a hard time prying me out. MJ tells Reza, he’s literally the worst. Reza asks, how? He’s apologizing, and owning every bit. MJ asks where was the call she deserved? Reza says she should have told him that she was feeling five kinds of ways, and she says she wanted him to be in the delivery room. He says he wanted to be, and it broke his heart. In Reza’s interview, he says he didn’t go to see MJ in the hospital because they weren’t in a good place. We flash back to Reza calling MJ while she was recovering, and grilling her about Ali. MJ says she saw him making a huge choice not get clarity from her, but they both lacked empathy. Reza says, it’s unimaginable that his closest friend entertained someone who did something not positive to him. The outcome was sh*tty and effed up. He wants to own his part in that, and that it affected her life in a negative way. MJ says she didn’t think about what he was going through, since she was wrapped up in what she going through. Reza says that’s all he needed. From the bottom of his heart, he forgives everyone, and apologizes with his whole heart. He did to Ali the same thing Tommy did; stand up for his spouse. It made him see Tommy in a different light, and let go of the anger. That’s all he needed from her; to own her part. They can take baby steps; time and action. In Reza’s interview, he says, Adam wants nothing to do with MJ. Now he feels that he has the insurmountable task of respecting his husband’s wishes, and getting back to a beautiful place with his best friend of thirty years who’s gone. Reza asks if MJ doesn’t think this is amazing. MJ says their realization that they both lacked empathy is a breakthrough. Reza says, a big breakthrough.

Next time, fire eaters and sea life, surfing lessons, GG flirts with Nema; and Mike says, there’s lots of sh*t talking and he wants them to act right.

🍸 On Watch What Happens Live tonight, the word of the night was Reza. They said it a total of 33 times. Andy said if we were playing, don’t drive, but I say, if you were playing, you’re probably dead.

🙌🏾 Some Happy News…

Sheree’s mom has been found.


👠 A New Wife In the Hills…

I really liked Garcelle. She might end up being a saving grace of the show, although it’s only the first week.


Photo gallery.


Dishing the dirt.


👨🏻‍⚕️ Botched Quarantine…

If anyone can entertain themselves, these two can.


👰🏼 Marriage Postponement…

She’s not getting married unless it can be televised.


🍼 New Nassif On the Way…

Take two for Paul.


💋 Kyle Pours the Tea…


I find it doubtful she and LVP will ever be friends again.


🛣 Memories…

Before their faces consisted only of fillers and Botox.


💰 In Defense of Profit…

Because they need money after building that humongous house.


🥣 She Don’t Wanna Start a Fight…

Pink gives back.


🎭 On Broadway…

A quarantinable reminder from the Great White Way.


📣 Quotes of the Week

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to be well-known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. – Fred Allen

Without music, life would be a mistake. – Friedrich Nietzsche

I paint objects as I think them, not as I see them.Pablo Picasso

People are telling me I’m viral, but I say, don’t worry, I’m fine. – Leslie Jordan, new internet sensation

Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not his own facts. – Daniel Patrick Moynihan

Helping my son with his math homework makes me wish homework and numbers and children didn’t exist. – Mike (@dadandburied), on Twitter

Not everyone you lose is a loss. – Dr. Phil

The struggles we endure today will be the ‘good old days’ we laugh about tomorrow. – Aaron Lauritsen (Ain’t it the truth!)

🪁 It’s Still Just the Weekend To Me…

No Dead on Sunday yet, so see you when it’s Sailing time. Stay safe, and get out of those PJs.

April 16, 2020 – Snake Not On a Plane, Sonja Was Not a Trophy Wife, John’s Choice, Chefs Go To Market, Camp Coming & Closer


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

I swear, I could get up at 5 am, and still be running late around 3 pm. I missed the beginning, but from what I could hear, it sounded like they were just reviewing the end of yesterday’s episode.

At the hospital, Michael tells Sasha it would be nice to paint Nelle as a demon, and have her banished to a parallel dimension. Sasha says she can picture Diane making that argument, and Michael says, Diane is so good, she’d probably make it halfway through the argument before the judge would realize, and hold her in contempt. Sasha likes the Wizard of Oz approach. Bringing Nelle and Michael up front, and dumping a bucket of water on them, to see who doesn’t melt. Carly comes by, and says, that sounds good. Sasha says she’s getting punchy, and Carly says, long hours at the hospital will do that. Who wouldn’t want to see Nelle turn into a green puddle? Michael gets serious, and says he can’t afford to think like that. If he’s wrong, Wiley pays.

At Violet’s party, Maxie tells Robert, now that Obrecht is going to the Hague, can he drop his vendetta against Peter? He says he doesn’t have a vendetta, but she says, whatever he’s calling it, instead of treating Peter like a suspect, why doesn’t he see what they have in common? He says, those they love? and she says, besides that. He says he can’t think of anything, and she says Obrecht tried to kill them both. Robert is used to bouncing back, but Peter has suffered enough. He says, that’s a matter of opinion, and Maxie says she’s known Robert literally her entire life. He says that’s why he wants what’s best for her, and she says he needs to accept what’s best for her is her own decision; like she needs to accept he’ll never see Peter for the wonderful man he is. We flash back to Robert asking Anna if it ever occurred to her that Peter could be Alex’s son. It’s her big chance to sever all ties to Faison. Anna says she’ll never abandon Peter, and Robert says, Peter is an adult, and every bit as treacherous and sadistic as his father. We move to Peter saying, Robert knows he went to Pentenville to visit Shiloh, and Robert saying, but he doesn’t know why. Why doesn’t Peter shine some light on that? We go to Robert telling Peter that his family doesn’t see the dark side of him, but they will. Peter says it kills Robert that the people he cares about, care about and love Peter. There’s nothing he can do to convince Robert, so let those they care about speak for him. Robert says Peter thinks highly of himself. It was Faison’s undoing, and will be Peter’s too. Next, Robert tells Anna that something is wrong. If she wants to deny what’s in front of her face, that’s one thing, but if she denies what’s in her heart, it might come back to bite her. We shift to Robert asking Anna how long Jason has been suspicious, and telling her that she has a Peter-sized blind spot. It’s going to get her into trouble, and when Peter goes down, Robert doesn’t want Anna going with him. There are things in the works, and they’re going to show her what her would-be son is really like. We flash back to Robert accusing Peter of shopping his deal with Sam and Jason to the AG. Peter asks why it matters, unless Robert is up to something shady. Robert thanks Peter for getting him off this production. Now it’s just Peter and Jason. He knows Jason is a trained killer, and Jason knows the truth. He’s coming to get Peter, and this time Anna’s not going to be able to save his sorry butt. In the present, Robert tells Maxie, she’s right. He’s never going to see what she does. Good party. He leaves, she sighs, and Peter walks in, no doubt from listening in the next room.

In the park, Chase tells Willow, maybe they shouldn’t have gone to the party. She says they couldn’t have missed Violet’s birthday extravaganza, but he says he sees what it did to her. She says, it’s not the party; it’s the day. He should go back. He says, and leave her alone? but she says she can handle a walk by herself; she’s resourceful. He says she’s one of the most resourceful people he knows, but it’s how it weighs on her that Nelle might get custody. She says, it’s one thing if Nelle objects to elective surgery, but what if Wiley gets worse and she still refuses? He says, Michael has excellent lawyers, and she says, but what if it’s not enough? He says she’s been more of a mother to Wiley than Nelle, and she says, but she’s not his mother.

Olivia sees Robert heading for the door, and says, sneaking out? He says, guilty. He needs her to do him a big favor. She says, it depends on what it is, and he says he has some pressing business to take care of, but he doesn’t want to disappoint Violet or Anna. She says he could play the didgeridoo one more time, and see how Anna feels. He says it’s complicated, and he needs a bit of a cover created. If someone asks if they’ve seen him, she can say she saw him in the kitchen or the garden. If she does that, he would be so much in her debt. She likes the sound of that, and says she’s got it.

On the phone, Peter says he needs the distraction now. The sooner the better. Make it happen.

Aiden goes inside, and Charlotte follows, but Ava is behind her with Avery. Ava says she’s been telling Avery about Charlotte’s horse. It’s too soon for Avery to have lessons, but Avery loves horses. Avery says she and her grandfather had a sleepover with them in the stables. Ava says maybe Avery could watch Charlotte ride, or maybe have a horse of her own. Charlotte tells Avery, the back stall at Windymere is the best. Butterscotch used to have it, but Charlotte doesn’t live there anymore. Avery asks if Charlotte used to live in the big house, and Ava says, Charlotte did, but she and Nikolas live in the house now. She takes Avery back to the party.

Aiden reaches for the piñata, but Charlotte says, don’t touch it! He says he’s not going to hurt it, and she says she’s sorry she yelled. There’s a big surprise in there, and everybody needs to be here to see it.

Jason tells Sonny, he gave Anna a heads up for him, and she said thank you. She hasn’t seen anything out of order, but she’ll keep her eyes open. Then, a half hour later, Cyrus called, asking to meet with Sonny, and for Jason to relay the message. Sonny says, one thing about Cyrus, he’s doing it the right way.

Maxie tells Peter, he missed Georgie getting her fortune told. It was quite an event, but she has it on video. He says he has Invader business to tend to, and she asks if he has to duck out. He promises it’s important, and says he already told Anna goodbye. She says she’ll stay and sit back, watching the kids fight for candy like a teeny Hunger Games, where no one has to die. He says he’ll see her later. We flash back to Maxie in the cemetery, thanking Peter for saving her and the baby, and saying, Nathan would thank him too. We move to her saying that she’s lucky to have Peter in her life, accepting the fund for Nathan, and telling him that the rest of the family will come around. Peter feels the baby kick, and Maxie says she keeps wondering who he’ll be like; her or Nathan. Peter guesses, a little of both, and she says she can’t wait to meet him. Peter says, that makes two of them. Next, Peter asks Maxie to accompany him to the Nurses Ball, Maxie goes into labor on the way, and Peter delivers the baby by the side of the road. We flash back to Maxie telling Peter that she had to atone for mistakes she made too. He says she’s come a long way; maybe there’s hope for him too. We go through their relationship so far; Peter saying she’s his only true friend, and he’ll forever be sorry for hurting her; Maxie saying that being stuck in the elevator with him, personalized her being done with bitterness, and considering she’s been forgiven, it’s her only way to pay it forward; Peter telling Maxie that he cares more about her than anyone he’s ever cared for, and Maxie saying he’s the first person who’s made her feel this way since Nathan; Peter taking Maxie to Paris on a private jet, but them getting stuck in Toronto instead. We see their first kiss, deciding to move in together, and their first Christmas when Maxie gave Peter a personalized stocking, telling him that he’s officially family and she loves him. He tells her that he never had one, and it’s funny how the smallest things get you. We end with Maxie telling Peter, nobody can come between them, except them.

Robert sneaks into Peter and Maxie’s place. We flash back to Anna telling him that he’s targeting Peter, and asking, why can’t he accept the official story? Why can’t he leave it alone? He says he can’t, and she says, there’s no immediate danger or imminent threat. He’s looked the other way before. There’s no reason for him to be digging, except for his almighty ego, and need to be right. He says he’s not going to watch her wreck herself for a murdering SOB. In the apartment, he says, okay, Henrik. Let’s see what you’re hiding.

Franco asks Aiden, what’s up? and tells him to grab the piñata. Aiden tells him, Charlotte said to leave it alone, and Franco suggests they look at it. Ava tells Elizabeth, if someone had said years ago, that Franco would find happiness showing a child a non-violent piñata, she wouldn’t have believed it. Elizabeth says, he’s changed, and Ava says he’s truly, genuinely happy, and it’s all because of Elizabeth. Elizabeth says, they’re pretty happy together, and Ava wishes she could say the same about her and Nikolas. In the beginning, she thought they were a good match; two outsiders, comforting each other. Now she’s not so sure. Elizabeth says they’re completely different people. Ava is an extrovert, and Nikolas has spent his life under the mercy of other people’s opinions. If he did something bad, it wasn’t bad enough, but if he did something good, it wasn’t good enough. He’s given up on his better angel from time to time. Ava says, no wonder he’s lonely. He puts up a great front, but when he’s home alone, he walks through the house, practically haunting it. He had such high hopes for his return, and he got what he wanted, but no one was happy for him. Elizabeth says, he did some reprehensible things. He should have thought twice about it, if he didn’t want to be held accountable. Ava thinks Nikolas thinks so too. It’s taking its toll. There’s an emptiness she can’t reach.

Chase tells Willow, it’s okay, but she says, it’s not. Wiley’s not a person to Nelle. He’s a means to an end; a weapon to use against Michael and his family. He knows Nelle better than anyone. Does he think if the worst happens, and Nelle gets Wiley, she can look past her selfish needs, and think about Wiley’s best interests? She sure as hell doesn’t. We flash back to Nelle in Charlie’s, saying she wants to change Wiley’s name to William; he’ll adjust. Willow tells her, Wiley is a person, and Nelle says she’s sick of Willow and her self-righteousness. She’ll raise Wiley how she pleases, and Willow needs to remember that her son is dead, and stay the hell away from Nelle’s. Willow throws a drink on Nelle. In the park, she tells Chase, sorry she keeps going on about it. Between her and Michael, it’s probably all he hears. He says, there’s a simple solution. It’s not easy, but the way to improve Michael’s chances in fighting Nelle is for Willow to marry him.

Michael tells Carly and Sasha, he keeps going back to Diane’s strategy. It won’t do any good to make Nelle look bad; he has to look good. Carly says, it’s not an acrimonious divorce. It’s not he said she said. Nelle’s crimes are a matter of public record. He says, if he piles it on Nele, it might make the judge more sympathetic. If he calls her out for the horrible, deranged things she’s done, it could backfire, and she could be seen as a victim. We flash back to Nelle being in the hospital, and Michael saying he’s not going anywhere. We move to Nelle saying she admires Carly as a mother. She made a mistake, but at least understand that she wanted to name the baby Morgan to honor him. Let her make things right. We see Nelle telling Michael, their son didn’t make it, and saying the crash killed him. It’s Michael’s fault. He was too busy trying to get her to confess. He says, she’s blaming him? Jonah is dead because of her. She says he was the one driving. If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s his. He hated her so much, he killed their baby. He’s ruined everything. We flash back to Nelle in jail, telling Carly, if only she’d known Jonah was alive. Brad ripped him from the safety of her arms. Carly says Nelle will never see Wiley again, and if the legal system doesn’t do it, she will. At the hospital, Carly tells Michael, Nelle is a master victim, and Michael says he has to show the court the reason he’s the best parent for Wiley.

Willow says, Chase told Sasha it was insane, but he says he’s had time to think. He sees Willow agonizing over Wiley, but it’s not his decision to make; it’s hers. If she wants to help, she’s got to marry Michael. If her decision is not to marry him, she’s got to take a step back, and let it be Michael’s problem, not hers. We flash back to Michael telling Willow, Nelle is great at faking it, but she’s the real thing. It’s like saccharine versus sugar. One tastes fine, until you have the real thing. She’s the real thing, and the judge would see her love for Wiley.

Sonny says Cyrus knows better than to contact him, so he’s using Jason as a go-between. Jason asks, why risk it? and Sonny asks if he thinks it’s a risk. Jason says Cyrus ambushed Sonny once, he could do it again. Sonny says, maybe Cyrus wants peace, and Jason says, on his terms. Sonny says, if they were his terms, Cyrus would be gone, and Cyrus knows this. Jason says, Cyrus just got out of prison. The last thing he wants is to be charged with another crime. Sonny could call his bluff by making a concession. Sonny says, that’s not going to happen. He needs to know Cyrus’s next move.

The kids gather around the piñata, and Finn says it’s the moment they’ve been waiting for. Is everybody ready? Anna asks if Violet wants to be first, but Violet says, let somebody else go. Anna spins Violet around, and she points to Charlotte. Charlotte suggests Avery have her turn, but Olivia says if they start messing with the rules, somebody’s feelings will get hurt. Charlotte approaches the piñata, takes a ribbon, and pulls.

Jason tells Sonny, Cyrus is fresh out of prison, far from his base of operations, and lost an expensive shipment. Sonny says, his partners are unhappy, and Jason says, Cyrus can’t come after Sonny unless he knows it will work. It’s Sonny’s city, and he has all the advantages. Sonny says, not all. Cyrus has the Police Commissioner under his thumb. Jason says, Jordan could give Cyrus room to maneuver, and clamp down on them. If Cyrus is free to operate, over time, it could hurt them. Sonny says, that’s the key – over time.

Aiden pulls a piñata ribbon, but nothing happens. Franco tells him, it’s okay. He’s in a perfect position to dive for candy. Violet is spun around, and points to another child. Charlotte looks nervous, but the other kids keep taking a turn, and nothing happens. Danny pulls a ribbon, but still nothing, and now Charlotte is like, come on. Avery is up, but the piñata still doesn’t open. It’s Violet’s turn, and Anna asks where Robert is. He’ll want to see this. Olivia says she thinks he’s on the patio.

Robert looks around, and opens drawers. The front doorknob turns.

The kids chant Violet’s name. She pulls a ribbon, and candy rains down. The kids drop to the floor, scrambling for it. Ava says, it’s precious, and digs in her bag, presumably for her camera. She drops the bag, and Nagini slithers out. Everyone screams, and Charlotte smiles.

On Monday, Robert confronts Spinelli about looking for dirt on Peter (we assume it’s Spinelli whose jiggling the doorknob), Laura tells Lulu that Valentin wants the same thing they all do, and Valentin tells Nikolas to stay away from his daughter.

Tomorrow, the episode from January 17, 2018 is listed in the guide. I can’t decipher exactly which one it is, since the blurb is vague, but it’s around the time of Jim Harvey and Nathan being revealed as Obrecht and Faison’s son.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Ramona has made plans for the women to visit a vineyard. In her interview, she says she wants to make sure they’re not bored and fighting, so they’re going to a winery. In Dorinda’s interview, she says, surprise, surprise. LuAnn woke up complaining about her room. We see a clip where – horrors! – the Countess saw a spider, and tells everyone she’s going to the chiropractor. The women take a limo, and go to the vineyard restaurant for lunch. Leah orders merlot. In her interview, she says she’s not an alcoholic, but didn’t like what alcohol was doing to her life. She stopped drinking, but now drinks when she wants, and she’s been drinking a bit over the last six months. Ramona gets a text from LuAnn saying she can’t make it. She got her neck cracked, and the doctor told her to take it easy. She’ll see them later. In Leah’s interview, she asks, in what world would you invite someone battling sobriety to a winery, and act surprised when they don’t want to go? It’s not a big riddle. Dorinda says after only 24 hours, they got Leah to drink. Ramona says, the weekend isn’t over yet. I didn’t see them pour Leah’s wine, but WTF? It’s like maybe two sips. Either she guzzled something when I wasn’t looking, or they are cheap with a pour. At a winery. In Ramona’s interview, she says bonding means opening up with what they’re feeling inside, and we flash back to her and Bethenny discussing their fathers. She says, that’s how they get close and get to know one another, rather than talking about superficial stuff.

Ramona tells the women, she came from a disruptive household. Growing up, she would play music, and look out the window at the clouds, wondering what was out there for her. Years later, driving back from the Hamptons, she felt like she was sixteen again, questioning what was going on with her life. Dorinda says she has goosebumps, and Ramona tells them, she said, mommy, help me. Sonja is impressed with the self-realization, and says she’d thought Ramona was avoiding the topic. In Ramona’s interview, she says it’s important in life to feel safe with a person, and it scares her that she doesn’t have that in her life. Tinsley says she has the same feeling, and she doesn’t even have a child. At least all of them have had those things, and checked them off. Ramona says, it’s not a box you check, and Dorinda says she enjoys Tinsley, but she has frustration with her. It’s like how they were talking about icebergs on the Discovery channel. As big and beautiful as they are on the surface, 90% of them are under water. She feels like she’s only seeing the tip of Tinsley. It’s not about being nosey, but getting to know her. Sonja says she didn’t even know Tinsley had a new boyfriend.

Tinsley says, Bruce is from Chicago, and has three children and two ex-wives. She’s never really been around children, and was surprised she could deal with that, and be a part of the family. She doesn’t know if it’s going to be long term; she’s not used to being one of an army of people, and wonders, where does she fit in? Leah thinks Brett is being selfish. We see a clip of Leah asking Tinsley if she feels like she’s wasting her time, and Tinsley says she always feels that way. She tells the women, she probably won’t have her own kid with this guy. Every time she sees him, it’s with his family, and she needs alone time with him. Leah says, they’re also socializing with his friends. In Tinsley’s interview, she says she doesn’t like being sixth on the totem pole.

It’s Leah’s turn, and she tells everyone, after high school, her parents sent her to rehab. When they came to get her, they told her she wasn’t coming home. In her interview, she says she was an effed up teenager, and put her parents through hell. They told her that they couldn’t have her disrupting her brother’s and sister’s lives. She tells the women, her parents told her that they couldn’t have her there, and took her to a halfway house run by nuns. They drove her to a nunnery in Upstate New York, and drove off. She wondered what was happening to her life, but later realized that her mother was trying to save her life. She had to face the consequences of the things she was doing, but it gave her perseverance. She’s been though the worst. In Ramona’s interview, she says Leah had the vulnerably to confide in them, and she has empathy, since she went through a bit of that herself

Dorinda gets weepy, and says she needs another napkin. She’s been crying for a month, and doesn’t know what’s wrong with her. She says she’s scared every day, and starts to cry. Leah asks what she’s scared of, and Ramona comes around the table and hugs her. Dorinda says everyone thinks she’s strong and able. She’s the anchor for everyone’s boat, but sometimes she wants to be the boat, and be anchored by someone else. Ramona says Dorinda is overwhelmed, and Dorinda says she’s always running the show. Ramona says Dorinda does for everybody, and in Dorinda’s interview, she says, life is heavy. She wakes up worried, and goes to bed worried, and has no one to share the burden with. John never had these kinds of responsibilities. She’s tapped out. Leah says the pressure is always on women to do everything.

Ramona says Sonja is next. Sonja says she’s at the point Ramona was, wondering how she got there. She runs around, pays the bills, and has one foot in the nursing home. She didn’t sign up for this. Then you die. Dorinda says, she thought they were supposed to be expressing their hearts, and Leah wonders where the oxygen tank is. In her interview, Dorinda says, Sonja has had a couple of drinks, and she’s talking about everything except what makes her vulnerable. Stop her. Ramona looks at her phone, and says she’s checking on where she’s having her party. In her interview, she says she’s having a fabulous cocktail party at Joe Ferrell’s home. It’s stunning, and the women’s mouths are going to drop.

Back at the house, Tinsley tells Leah, she went on a date with Joe, and it was the lamest date ever. It was a basketball game. Leah says, and he didn’t even feed her or anything. In Tinsley’s interview, she says she found out he’d also dated Bethenny. He wasn’t her type, and she doesn’t think he drinks either.

LuAnn gets back, and in her interview, she says she didn’t want to miss any bonding, but she’s glad she took care of her neck. She didn’t sleep well, and between the spiders and the smell, she’s not comfortable. Dorinda asks how Ramona’s afternoon was, and Ramona admits she had had date. In her interview, Dorinda says she’s never seen a person slip in and out of dates so quickly. It’s like sliding doors. We flash back to Ramona leaving various events for a date, and Dorinda says, it’s impressive. Ramona says he was Persian, sexy, and more flirtatious than she is.

Ramona tells LuAnn to come to her bathroom to do makeup. LuAnn goes upstairs, and in her interview, Ramona says LuAnn’s floral dress does not belong in the Hamptons. It belongs in Nantucket or Atlanta. In LuAnn’s interview, she says she’s glad she missed lunch. By the looks of it, Sonja was over-served, and they’re not even at the party yet.

On the way to the party, in one limo, Ramona tells Dorinda that Joe is a major developer. In the other limo, LuAnn tells Sonja that she’s interested to see the house. Sonja says, Ramona is a social butterfly, who needs to be knocked down a notch. It’s not a good look. Sonja says she’s trying to hang onto her long term friends, but Ramona is more interested in the rent-a-crowd, party filler people. In Sonja’s interview, she says, Ramona is showing off her fancy friends, but it’s just another boring party, with stiff people, and a lot of small talk. She thinks Ramona forgot what’s important in life.

The house, named Sandcastle, is massive, and there’s a humongous mirror in the entryway. Ramona says she’s in love with it, which is no surprise. LuAnn says the house is for sale, and Sonja says no wonder they were invited. She realizes that the four of them sharing the limo – her, LuAnn, Tinsley, and Leah – all have mug shots. Leah’s says, it’s a bunch of weird white people, and in her interview, she says, it’s not the type of party she’s used to. It’s weird Eyes Wide Shut sh*t. By the end, she’s going to be taken to a back room and made to be someone’s bitch. (I just have to interject that I had a hard time keeping my eyes wide open when I saw Eyes Wide Shut. It wasn’t nearly as interesting as I thought it would be, and that one-note piano score was sleep inducing.) Sonja is disappointed that there’s no gin, and goes for Tito’s. Ramona introduces everyone, and Sonja says she’s being so formal. In Tinsley’s interview, she says, Sonja lived like Ramona is pretending to. Sonja tells Ramona, they might be in a $39 million home, but act like she’s in her $7 million home; she likes to be down-to-earth. In Ramona’s interview, she says, with Sonja, she has to bring herself down, while with her other friends, she has to elevate herself.

Ramona accuses Leah of chewing gum, like it’s a crime, and Leah says, no, she’s not. She walks outside with Tinsley, and says she swallowed it. Ramona’s eyes scared the hell out of her. She saw Ramona’s eyes, and just swallowed the gum. Ramona just scolded her, but she’s not from the royal family. Inside, Sonja says she thinks Leah is classy, but doesn’t look classy; she’s rough around the edges. Ramona thanks Joe for letting her use the house. In her interview, Tinsley says, it’s weird seeing Joe. She thinks he and Ramona would make a good couple. The way Ramona is batting her lashes, he seems to be into it. She tells Leah, Ramona is flirting as usual. In her interview, Leah says, Joe seems like a nice older gentlemen. Men who are short and unattractive still have women running after them if they have money. It’s the world we live in. In LuAnn’s interview, she says, it’s hard not to drink. The bar is there, and everyone is drinking. She was hoping Leah would be her wingman by not drinking, but it’s not happening. She’s lost her sober companion.

Ramona gathers everyone for a house tour, and they check out the bowling alley in the basement. The women are impressed, and Joe says his house just made him hotter. In her interview, Leah says, exhibit A. She rests her case. Tinsley is having a hard time bowling in heels, and gets a gutter ball. On the way downstairs, Dorinda tells LuAnn that she thinks touring houses is tacky. In her interview, Dorinda says she lived with her husband in London, and they don’t do house tours. You see the living room and the dining room, and maybe the kitchen. Maybe. LuAnn and Dorinda do some bowling, and LuAnn gets a strike. In another room, Joe shows them a half pipe he had put in for his son, and a DJ booth. There’s also a swing that can be hoisted to the ceiling, and when Ramona goes up in it, it makes me nervous. It’s not like there’s a seat belt.

Mutual friend Elyse joins them, and Dorinda says she was married to a hedge fund guy. They discuss clothes, and Elyse says she’s not a huge shopper. Investments, yes; clothes, no. Sonja says her husband always bought her clothes, and Elyse says Sonja was his accessory. Sonja takes offense, insisting they were partners. Elyse says Sonja was a trophy wife, and Sonja starts to get loud, telling Elyse to clip it. Elyse says, Sonja brought men to their knees, and Sonja keeps repeating, take it back, until Elyse takes it back. Sonja says, Tinsley was a trophy wife, which annoys Tinsley. In Tinsley’s interview, she says she and Topper met at boarding school, and they were the same age. Sonja was a hostess when she met her husband, who was a hundred. That’s the definition of a trophy wife. Sonja announces that she doesn’t shave her p*ssy. In Dorinda’s interview, she says, Sonja is drunk, but she doesn’t think Elyse should be talking like that. It’s no one’s business to pass judgement on what roll any of them played in their husbands’ lives. LuAnn tells Dorinda, Sonja is off the rails, and shouldn’t have kept drinking. She’s going to be out like a light. Dorinda says, or it will be batten down the hatches.

The women check out the buffet, and LuAnn wants someone to tell her why she left her own beautiful house to spend the weekend in Ramona’s basement. It smells like dog piss. In LuAnn’s interview, she says, the room is also fully stocked with liquor. She noticed. Sonja tells Ramona to go sit with her rich friends. She’s treating them like chicken liver. Everyone is like, um… that’s chopped liver. In Ramona’s interview, she says, when Sonja acts like this, it’s no wonder she’s not invited to certain events. Sonja says they’re not important to Ramona, and Dorinda says, Sonja is on a roll. Leah sits down, and Sonja points to a young guy sitting at the table, saying he wants to have sex with her. Leah says, who wouldn’t want to have sex with her? In Leah’s interview, she says, watching Sonja eye-f*** this dude is the best part of the whole party. She wonders if Sonja would say, never mind, if he had a tattoo. She doesn’t think so. The guy asks if Sonja wants a drink, and Ramona suggests he get Sonja some club soda. Sonja tells him, just show her his driver’s license, and they’re good to go. She has an amazing vagina. LuAnn joins them, wondering what’s happening, and Sonja asks how her p*ssy is. LuAnn looks down, and says, it’s all still there. Sonja says she stole the show, but they’re not getting laid tonight. It’s all quite astonishing. And astonishing that Sonja is invited anywhere.

In her interview, Leah says, Sonja is not just entertaining, she’s embarrassing. They get up from the table, and Sonja says Ramona is a party popper [sic]. Ramona says, the party is over, and Sonja says, Ramona is over. She tries to latch on to a guy going past, and LuAnn says he’s married and has a baby. In Dorinda’s interview, she says, it’s like Godzilla has been let loose, and Godzilla is drunk. Ramona steers them all out, and a guy named Eddie asks if every night is like this.

Sonja tries to go back, but Dorinda says, no, you’re not. Sonja says Dorinda is getting in between her and her vagina. Dorinda wonders why Sonja does this to herself – and them.

I’ve been wondering why I like this show when it’s just as drama laden as RHOBH. The lightbulb came on just now. The women are just as self-centered, and sometimes as mean, as the women in Beverly Hills. But when they’re mean, it’s because they want attention or they’re thoughtless – not because they’re deliberately being cruel or want to get back at each other. Huge difference. Same drama, but different intention. It’s kind of like the difference between 2 Broke Girls and King of Queens. The people are both awful, but on 2 Broke Girls, you know when push came to shove, they’d do anything for one another or even to help a stranger. On King of Queens, they’d trample each other to get to a fire exit. But they’re not real, so it can be funny. Okay, digression – and commercial break – over.

It’s 10 am, when Dorinda knocks on Ramona’s door. She says, there’s a problem. LuAnn left, and she’s written an out-of-control text. Ramona says she saw a car pull out last night, and thought someone stole her car. Dorinda doesn’t know why she was cc’d, and reads the text addressed to Ramona. LuAnn says, it’s not the fish room part two. She has an amazing home, and there, she had to share a bathroom with someone she didn’t know or be in the basement, where there’s dog piss and spiders. She’s always lowest on the totem pole when it comes to rooms. Ramona says she asked LuAnn if she wanted a room on the  ground floor, and thinks LuAnn just wanted to go home. Dorinda wonders why LuAnn can’t just say she doesn’t want be downstairs, and that it feels lonely. In Dorinda’s interview, she says, LuAnn always has an issue with the room. We flash back to Vermont, when LuAnn whined that she was just married and back from Palm Springs, so her room could have been nicer; and Great Barrington, where LuAnn griped that the best room was being saved for Bethenny, who’d just been through a tragedy. Dorinda says, and Ramona’s house. Dorinda thinks there’s a theme going on here.

Ramona calls LuAnn, and gets voicemail. Dorinda tells her to be careful with what she says. Ramona says she hopes LuAnn got home safe. She’s sorry LuAnn felt isolated, and that she wasn’t being more aware of how LuAnn felt. She was concentrating on superficial things, when it was important to bond, and she never meant to make LuAnn feel that way. She asks LuAnn to come back, and she’ll try to make it up to her. I’m kind of surprised, since Ramona actually sounds sincere. She tells Dorinda that LuAnn felt rejected, and she gets that. In her interview, Ramona says she doesn’t want LuAnn to feel bad. She was preparing for eight women, cooking, cleaning, and shopping, and effed up.

Sonja wonders what happened last night, and thinks she had a great time. Ramona asks if she’s straight yet, and tells her about LuAnn leaving at 1 am. In Sonja’s interview, she says LuAnn was humbled by her probation for ten seconds. Now everything’s not good enough. Sonja reads the text, and they all want to see the basement, and troop downstairs. Sonja deems it a party palace. In Dorinda’s interview, she says, it was either sleeping in the guest room, or being home. A bed, television, and bathroom is enough.

Ramona’s phone rings. It’s LuAnn.

Next time, Ramona and LuAnn have a tennis match; a cute dog groomer comes to groom Marley, and LuAnn says she’d like to be groomed; a game of beer pong is played; Leah goes off the deep end; and Ramona wails over the remnants of a very messy party.

📡 John Olivier and LuAnn were guests on Watch What Happens Live (quarantine edition), and John was too funny. He was enthralled with next week’s RHONY preview, and how it went from, I think there’s vodka in that, to I think she’ll be okay, to a naked Leah pulling a tiki torch out of the ground, to a guy nobody knows saying, I think I should go. He said, if someone would ask which he liked better, that or Parasite, he would say Parasite, but he’d be lying.

👨🏾‍🍳 On Top Chef, the chefs arrived to find stations for each of them, with utensils, aprons, and tablets. They each got a phone call from a loved one; wives, moms, sisters, and friends, and chatted for a while. Padma came in and told them to gather around. Their loved ones were going to be an integral part of the Quickfire challenge. They were all at Mozza, an upscale restaurant, and the chefs would have to replicate whatever dish their person was eating, using their instructions given over the phone. The dish had to look and taste the same, but a photo couldn’t be texted. They had thirty minutes to cook the dish, which I probably don’t have to point out, isn’t very long. As usual, the winner would be exempt from elimination, but they would also receive $10K courtesy of the show’s partner, Metro. Kevin said the run for ingredients reminded him of the streets of Manhattan; everyone was running around like lunatics, wearing headphones, and screaming at someone no one else could see. Since each loved one had a different set of communication skills, it was pretty funny to watch the chefs try to decipher what it was they were going to make. After cooking/plating time was up, a photo of the dish was texted to them, so they could see how close they came. Guest judge Nancy Silverton, owner of the Mazzo restaurant group, and whose dishes were being reproduced, was introduced. Bryan had a totally different dish, so it was the least favorite, but Nancy made a point of saying it was still delicious. Kevin was the winner (aw! I like him), and he called his wife, saying that her being super detail oriented panned out. In his interview, he said his successes had always been because of her, and he was glad they got the opportunity to enjoy the victory together.

Nancy explained that, in addition to her restaurants, she was also an entrepreneur. She had the Bakery Bread company, and was starting a gelato line called Nancy’s Fancy. The chefs were to create a signature product to bring to the Westfield Century City Food Festival. They would be giving out samples of food using their creation, and the shoppers would each get one ticket to receive one product. The chefs’ loved ones would assist them in the making of the product, and they were given $600 to shop at Whole Foods. While making dumplings, the kitchen got a little too hot for Lee Anne’s mom, who came close to fainting, and had to lie down. In Lee Anne’s interview, she said her mom was her main consideration, but she still had to be in the competition – alone – and finish a million dumplings. Okay, it was really 150. Several of the others came to rescue, and she said she was touched that she had great people willing help. I was pretty impressed with that myself. Afterwards, Bryan ranked the others in a notebook, no surprise, putting himself at the top. He’s starting to get on my nerves.

At the food festival, the chefs labeled their products. Melissa ended up being the top seller, receiving tickets for 31 bottles of kimchee vinaigrette. She said she’d wanted to create a versatile product, which seemed to be key. Nancy picked Gregory as the winner of the challenge with some Haitian pickled veggies that I wouldn’t mind a jar of. The bottom three were Stephanie, Jennifer, and Bryan full of Malarkey. In his interview, he whined that his product sold well, and tasted amazing, because he knows better than the judges. Stephanie was told her marinara sauce was nothing different than was already out there. Bryan’s salsa whatever was oily, and Tom said it was confusing as to what he was actually selling. Stephanie’s ginger lemon sauce, which sounded like a good idea, was deemed not smooth enough by Tom, and Nancy thought Stephanie had diluted the flavor by mixing in yogurt. Tom did say he was impressed with how quickly the chefs all came up decent product on the first try, saying it had taken twelve times for him to get his first product correct. He also conceded that in a crowded market, it was hard to get something to stand out.

While I was hoping Bryan would be packing his knives and going, it was Jennifer who was moving on to Last Chance Kitchen. She says she was from Philly, and Rocky kept coming back. In her interview, she told us, the competition had done so much good for her; she’d learned a lot about herself. She started off wanting things done her way, and it motivated her to be better. She now accepted that she makes mistakes, and wanted to learn. Her best memory was going to be cooking with her sister. The loss couldn’t change how happy the challenge made her.

Next time, the elimination challenge will be a celebration of the 100th Anniversary of the L.A. Philharmonic, the chefs will pair up, and it will be a double elimination. In the preview, Lee Anne said shopping with Bryan was like shopping with monkeys on crack.

🏕 Coming May 4th

I’m hoping this isn’t like Summer House at camp, but it looks like it probably is.


👯‍♂️ But Not Too Close…

We’re getting there, and I hope in the meantime, you’re getting up and getting dressed. No slippers before 6 pm, and make that bed. Unless you don’t normally make your bed, then disregard that. Stay safe, and wear that mask with pride.

April 6, 2020 – Cyrus Gets Released, Free Day For the Deck, Isolated Live, Summer Mess, 90 Day Opportunity, the Queens Are Coming & Still Here


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Sam and Jason kiss. He asks if this is why she wanted meet. She says it is, and he says they shouldn’t be doing this. Carly offered them a safe house, but meeting there is a double risk. Sam says she was careful; no one knows she’s there. He says, that they know of. If she’s caught meeting with a felon on a property owned by Sonny, it’s going to be a problem. She says, but she won’t be caught.

At the MetroCourt, Nina asks if Jax is sure he doesn’t want to ice his back; he took quite a fall. He says only his pride was hurt, and she bets he even falls with panache. He says, one person enjoyed it – Charlotte. She has great manners, but she couldn’t quite hide her smirk. Nina says, that’s what troubles her.

Ava thinks she and Nikolas should make more of an effort with his family, but he says his family doesn’t need to endure more of their sham marriage than they have already, especially his mother. She says she likes Laura a lot, and unless their terms have changed, his family needs to understand they’re a package deal. Unless one of them cheats, and she’s not going to. What about him? He says, certainly not, dearest. They walk into the hospital, and over to Laura. Ava says Laura’s office said she’d be there, and Laura asks if something happened. Have they spoken to Spencer? Ava says, sadly, no. They were nearby, and thought they could take her out for drinks, or dinner if she hasn’t eaten. Laura says she’s in the middle of something there. Doc wonders why he was paged, and Robert comes in, saying he has the latest on Cyrus, and it’s all bad.

The Pentenville warden says Jordan could have kept quiet, and Cyrus would have stayed behind bars. They know how dangerous he is, and what a blow it is to release him. But she discovered false evidence, and respected the rule of law. Maybe others could learn from her. Cyrus walks in, and says, what is this? A late night visit from the Commissioner? What does she have to tell him that’s so important?

Josslyn lets Cameron in the back door of Sonny’s kitchen. He says he’s glad she’s home. Although she’s under house arrest, so why wouldn’t she be? He’s glad guard recognized him, and let him in. He begins to babble, and she asks, what’s going on? He says, Trina is hurting, and he doesn’t know how to help.

Trina relentlessly bangs Jordan’s door, and Curtis opens it. He asks why she’s there alone, and Trina says, where is she? Jordan’s not at the station. He says, she’s on police business, and Trina says she called. They said she was gone for the day. He says, not all police business is conducted at the station. She says she’ll wait for as long as it takes for Jordan to take back the lies about her father.

Carly says she thought Sonny wanted to decompress after what happened with Mike, but it was about the phone call. Who was it, and what the hell is going on? Sonny answers another call, and says, it’s going down tonight. Take the appropriate measures, and call Jason and Tony. Sonny tells Carly, Diane called. Cyrus goes free tonight.

Nikolas asks if he jsut heard Robert say that Cyrus is going free; the man who’s responsible for his mother being shot. Ava says, obviously, it’s not a good day for drinks, and Robert says he should have been quiet. Sorry. Laura says, when she was briefed, she knew it would be in a few hours. How did it happen so quickly? Robert says, it’s what he suspected when the Justice Department contacted him. Doc says, remarkable. A heads up would have been nice. Laura asks if there isn’t a way they can slow down Cyrus’s release.

Nikolas asks Ava, how they can let a drug trafficker go free? Ava says, Trina told her everything, and Jordan had expected it. Trina feels horrible. Nikolas hopes Laura doesn’t get involved any further, and she says he sounds like a concerned son. He sounds like he might have a caring heart after all.

Nina tells Jax, Charlotte was a big reason why she was conflicted about leaving Valentin. She was afraid of how the breakup was going to affect her. Charlotte is strong-willed, but underneath, she’s hurting and alone. Jax says, like his aching back, and Nina says, she knew it, but he says, it was just a tweak. She says, Charlotte might see Jax as part of the problem. Charlotte can’t blame Valentin for them breaking up, but maybe she blames Jax on some level. She’s worried that Charlotte feels alone and sad, with no one to confide in. Jax says, Josslyn went through the same thing, believing Carly was involved with the wrong man, and acted out. Nina says, he just referred to himself as the wrong man, and he says he did, but nothing was farther from the truth.

Carly asks how Cyrus is getting out tonight, and Sonny says, Jordan, Taggert, and two other agents worked together in the DEA. They conspired to frame Cyrus, and somehow Cyrus found out. That’s why he killed Taggert, and the two other agents. She asks if he threatened to expose Jordan, and he says, Cyrus kidnapped TJ. Jordan has to release him to save her own son. He and Jason came up with an idea. Jordan told the Department of Justice that she’d discovered the frame-up, and said the other three were in on it. Carly asks if Laura is in on it, but he says, no; just them, and that’s the way he wants it to stay. Jordan made the right choice, and he’d have done the same. She says, say it works out, and Cyrus goes free. What the hell will they do?

Cyrus says, it’s better than he could have dreamed. He walks out a free man tonight? The warden says, paperwork has to be processed, but essentially, yes. He called the DOJ, and confirmed the procedure. He tells Cyrus to take a seat, and Cyrus says, it’s amazing how polite everyone becomes when they realize you’re about to go free. The warden leaves, and Cyrus tells Jordan, good job. It’s great to have friends in high places. She says she wants her son, but Cyrus says he’s not out yet. She says she did what he wanted. She tarnished her partner’s good name, and he got his precious freedom. But if her son isn’t released unharmed, he’s going to be too dead to enjoy it.

Curtis asks if Trina wants something to drink while she waits, but she says she’s good. He sets a water in front of her, just in case. He says he knows she been through one major incident after another. She lost her father, and now this. She says, these lies? Jordan said she was her father’s friend. How can a friend lie? He says, they’re not lies. Sometimes good people do bad things for a good reason. She says she’s tired of hearing that. Her mom and Ava said the same thing, but she knows it can’t be true. He was proud of his badge, and would never break the law. Curtis says, her father was human. He and the team were driven and dedicated. They were the good guys, and knew Cyrus was guilty as sin, but no matter how hard they worked, Cyrus was too smart to incriminate himself. They couldn’t pin him down, so as a last resort, since they knew Cyrus was already guilty, they framed him, even though it was wrong. She says, not her dad, and he’s not there, so he can’t defend his reputation, but she can. She’s going to find a way to prove his innocence. She heads for the door, and Curtis says, it’s the last thing her father would want.

Jason tells Sam that Diane and Tony confirmed it. Cyrus is going to be released tonight. He knows it sounds crazy. They knew it was going to happen, but not this fast. Everyone is freaking out, and now they have to deal with Cyrus. There are a lot of decisions he needs to make, and wants her to go home and stay there. Sam asks when they can meet again, and he says they can’t. No more secret meetings. They can’t do it anymore.

Carly says, Cyrus came close to killing Sonny with the ambush, and will probably make a run for him again. Sonny says, maybe, but he and Jason are going over options. The way he sees it, Cyrus is far away from his base of operations. He doesn’t know Port Charles, and it gives Sonny the advantage. She says, maybe, but wouldn’t Cyrus stay safer on the west coast?

Robert says, the simple truth is, the legal system is on Cyrus’s side. Laura says, no parole; no one is going to keep tabs on him? Robert says he can come and go as he pleases, and Laura says, there’s nothing to keep him there. Maybe he’ll go back to Seattle. Doc tells her, don’t count on it. After their interview, he doesn’t see that as happening.

Nikolas tells Ava that he dated Taggert’s sister. He was a dedicated cop. If he compromised his ethics, it’s a good indicator of the danger that’s about to be free. Ava says they should talk to Laura, and get her to understand their concerns, but Nikolas says, no. Their marriage is simply an act, and a transparent one at that. No doubt his mother isn’t interested in what they have to say, so just don’t. She tells him, suit himself. She’ll see him at home.

Josslyn says, Cyrus gets to go free? and Cameron says, and Trina’s dad looks like a bad cop.  He couldn’t bear the look on Trina’s face when Jordan told her. There was nothing he could do or say. Josslyn says she could have been there if she hadn’t been confined to the property. Trina needs her, and she has to find her. Cameron says Josslyn can’t leave.

Curtis asks if Trina knows he used to be with the DEA. She says, so? and he says he’s aware of the toll it takes, day in and day out. All they see is anger, pain, dysfunction, and violence out of control. Their job is to help protect the innocent, and minimize the damage. Trina says, like her dad did, and he says, but sometimes it gets to be too much. One case will be so long and so unfair, you have to act for justice, even if it means going outside law, or maybe following the law, and turning your back. It becomes impossible to live with yourself; so much so, it eventually numbs your own conscience. She asks if that’s what he did, and he says, the point is, her father kept his law enforcement life from her. There was a reason Taggert didn’t want it to touch her. He knows Taggert wouldn’t want her dragged into a pointless quest to vindicate his name. He’d want her to live her best life, and make him proud. She says he’s the Commissioner’s husband. Of course (🍷) he’d want her to back off, but the official story is wrong, and she’s going to prove it.

Jason says, working around Sam’s parole is one thing, but Cyrus is going to be released. Cyrus is ruthless, and targets families. Jason can’t be anywhere near her or the kids. Sam gets it. Cyrus will use them to get to Jason, but she’ll do everything to keep the kids safe. They have to find a way to meet. He says they can’t. Cyrus can’t get to Sonny without getting to Jason first. He’s going to be a target. and he blew up Cyrus’s warehouse. He can’t risk her getting caught up in it. Sam says, it’s not just his choice to make. If Sam was a man, I’d say she’s thinking with the wrong head. When did she take an idiot pill?

Sonny tells Carly, Cyrus got revenge against the agents who framed him, and three of them are dead. She says, and Jordan released him. Why would he stick around when his base of operations would be more secure? He says, it’s not about security. Pride is a major factor. Cyrus works with powerful syndicates. He came to town to take over Port Charles, guns blazing. He can’t back down now; they’ll think he’s weak. And when you’re weak, you get eliminated. She says, so he’ll stick around, and keep coming at Sonny, but Sonny says, he’s too smart for that. Cyrus is going to lay low after his release; he can’t take any chances. Carly says, then they’ll stay on lockdown? He says, if it escalates, he’ll move the entire family, but he believes he can keep them safe. She says, she believes him, but Jax might have other ideas.

Ava goes to the MetroCourt, and says she stopped by to see Nina at her office. It seems the more time Nina spends with Jax, the less time she spends there. Jax says they enjoy their time together, unlike Ava and Nikolas. She says, get real. Neglecting his wife is the least of Nikolas’s failings.

Trina shows up at Sonny’s, and Cameron says they were getting worried. Josslyn was about to go looking for her. Josslyn says Cameron told her about Trina’s dad. She’s sorry. Trina says she doesn’t want their sympathy; she wants their help.

Sam says Jason never had to lose her; she had to lose him for five years. He came back, so how is she supposed to give him up again? She doesn’t want to waste time. Nothing matters more than being together. He says her life matters more, and the kids. All Cyrus needs is to be right once. What if there’s another ambush? She has to think. She says she doesn’t want to leave the kids motherless, but she doesn’t want another separation. She can’t take it. He says he doesn’t like it either, and sits next to her. He says, it was different when it was just the two of them. They could take whatever risks they wanted to, and always found their way back to each other somehow. Now, their actions have consequences. They have to give Danny and Scout the security they need. They can’t be together.

Robert tells Laura, he has a call into Judge Crawly to delay Cyrus’s release, but it’s pending further review. The warden says he was just on the phone with the federal district court. The paperwork has already been processed, and as soon as it’s signed, Cyrus is a free man. Cyrus walks in, and says it’s a pleasant surprise to see Laura. Is she there to escort him back to Port Charles?

Doc asks what’s on Nikolas’s mind, and Nikolas says he hopes the same thing that’s on Doc’s mind – Cyrus. Doc says, it’s a tragic situation, and Nikolas says, from the looks of it, his mother isn’t happy. She’ll probably press Cyrus. Doc says he shares Nikolas’s concern, and Nikolas tells him to do what he can to get her to back down. Doc says, she’s too stubborn. He can only ask her to be careful. Nikolas says, that’s not enough, and Doc says it will have to be. He loves his wife, and he’s supportive. It’s called mutual respect. Nikolas should try it sometime.

Ava asks Jax what makes him think he can judge her marriage. How many times has he been married? Jax says, enough to know blackmail when he sees it. Ava says he ought to be thanking Nikolas. If he hadn’t returned, Nina and Valentin’s relationship wouldn’t have blown apart, and Jax wouldn’t be sitting there, picking up the pieces. On behalf of her husband, he’s welcome. She leaves, and Jax says, who cares what she says? He’s enjoying every minute with her. Nina asks, how many times has he been married? and he says he thought they were talking surfing. She says, they were; in Fiji. He says there are isolated beaches there with nice, fun waves. Carly approaches their table, and says she and Jax need to talk about Josslyn.

Josslyn says, Trina is going to sue Jordan? Trina says Jordan slandered her dad. She’s going to prove Jordan is lying, and restore his name and honor. Josslyn doesn’t know, and Trina says she’s always told her that Diane is the best lawyer in the state. Josslyn says Diane won’t take a case she doesn’t think she can win, and it sounds like Jordan has proof that Cyrus was framed. Josslyn asks if Josslyn thinks her father is a dirty cop, after he gave his life to save them.

Jordan arrives home, and tells Curtis that she’s sorry she’s late. She stopped to get a good bottle of wine. Cyrus was released today, and he’s so pleased with himself. The owner recommended the vintage, and said it was worth the money. She starts to open the bottle, and he stops her. He asks, why not wait until TJ is released before they celebrate? She says they don’t have that luxury. If it’s their last night together, she wants to make it count.

Jason tells Sam that he’s sorry. She asks why he keeps apologizing; he has nothing to be sorry for. Is he sorry they met each other? She’s not. Is he sorry they made Danny? She’s not. Is he sorry he came back? She’s not. She wouldn’t change a thing. Jason says he wouldn’t either, and she says he couldn’t predict the future; neither could she. She remembers when they met each other at the station, and wouldn’t change anything. She wouldn’t miss out on a single second of loving him. He says, and he could never give up on loving her, or missing out on Danny and Scout. They’re his family. They’re everything, and he has to do everything he can to protect them. Cyrus is being released, and they can’t take risks anymore. Tell him she understands. She says, okay. They’ll stay apart. Don’t call, don’t come around, and don’t contact. Jason says he’s going to miss her, and they hug. She says she’ll miss him too, and they have a (IMO) skimpy goodbye kiss at the door. He says he loves her, and she says she loves him too. He leaves, and she closes the door and leans on it.

Curtis asks Jordan to tell him she didn’t do something reckless, like throw herself under the bus. She says, no, but if TJ isn’t released, she’s going to kill Cyrus. She knows it’s reckless, but it won’t be for nothing, and afterwards, she’ll turn herself in.

Carly tells Jax that they said they’d deal with the situation together as parents. He asks what the situation is, and she says, Cyrus is getting out of prison. Sonny has security measures in place, but she understands if Jax wants to take Josslyn and leave the country. He asks if that’s what she wants him to do, but she says, not at all. She’d miss Josslyn like crazy, but it’s his call. He appreciates her bringing him in, and she knows how he feels about Sonny, but he knows Sonny loves his family, including Josslyn. If Carly feels she’s safe there, he trusts her judgement, but she has to let him know if the danger escalates.

Ava tells Nina, she’s too good to be anybody’s second place. She may find Jax enchanting, but she shouldn’t get too invested. Nina says Ava is too cynical, and Ava says Nina is too smart not to realize that any woman in Jax’s life is always going to be second to Carly. Nina asks why Ava is there. She got what she wanted; she’s mistress of Windymere. Why isn’t she home with her doting husband?

Josslyn says, what if Trina files the lawsuit, and all they do is prove her father did it? Cyrus is as bad as it gets. What if her father knew that the only way to keep him off the street was to frame him? She’s not touching it. Sometimes the right thing is breaking the rules. Her father had the right thing in his heart. She doesn’t have to defend him if he broke the law for the greater good. It still makes him a hero in Josslyn’s book. She takes Trina’s hand, and says, trust her. Because this is something she knows. Trina’s father doesn’t have to be perfect for her to love him. He’s still her dad. Trina starts to cry, and says she misses him so much. Josslyn holds Trina.

Curtis tells Jordan, premeditated murder is different from self-defense. Like she might not know that. He says, it’s not in her; she can’t do that. She says he doesn’t know what she’s capable of. If the universe is going to make her choose what’s right, it’s not murder; it’s justice. He tells her not to throw her life over for scum, and she says she hopes it doesn’t come to that. If it’s their last night, just love her.

Sonny tells Jason, he doesn’t think Cyrus is going back to Seattle, and Jason agrees, saying, he’s committed for sure. Sonny says they have two options; take Cyrus out immediately, or wait and stay complacent while they figure out his weaknesses. Jason says, eliminate him, and Sonny says, it will give them a chance to send a message, but he wants to be clear. It’s not worth losing Jason over. Jason says he’ll only take a shot if he has a good vantage point, and can get away clean. If he can, he’ll take Cyrus’s ass out tonight.

The warden says the paperwork should be ready, and asks if Robert wants to look it over. Robert says he does, and asks if Laura will be all right. She says she’ll be just fine. They leave, and Laura tells Cyrus, she has a very selfish wish. She wants him to be somebody else’s problem, and return to Seattle. Do his business there. Cyrus says, if he doesn’t? and she says, if he should choose to stay, as mayor, he can rest assured when he’s killed she’ll do the utmost to find out who’s responsible and bring them to justice. He laughs.

Cyrus appreciates Laura’s commitment to justice in his behalf, in the unfortunate event it’s necessary. She asks if he won’t save her the work and his life, and just leave. He says it would look like he’s running, and he’d lose the respect of his business associates – and hers too. She says he doesn’t have her respect, and never will. He says, they’ll see. Robert and the warden come back, and Robert says Cyrus is a free man once he signs. Cyrus asks if he can borrow a pen. Robert and Laura don’t volunteer, so the warden gives him one.

Nikolas stands in the elevator alone, as Doc walks past. He messes with his wedding ring.

Ava messes with her wedding ring, and drinks a martini. Nina sees Jax put his hand on top of Carly’s.

There’s a song part. Josslyn holds Trina as she cries. Cameron hugs them both.

Jordan and Curtis get busy.

Sam throws everything around the room, and smashes stuff. Isn’t this Sonny’s house? She screams, and pounds on the door.

Jason loads his automatic weapon, and puts it in a case. He nods to Sonny on his way out the door.

Cyrus signs the paperwork, and shakes hands with the warden. He holds out his hand to Robert, but that’s a no. Ditto for Laura. He leaves, and Robert closes the door. Laura and Robert look at each other.

Tomorrow, Carly says it started with her, and she’s going to finish it; Willow wonders about Nina’s heart necklace: Jordan says she’s going to kill Cyrus; and Cyrus tells Jason, their meeting is long overdue.

Below Deck Sailing Yacht

Captain Glenn tells Jenna, obviously there’s an issue, and asks if they’re looking to replace Madison. Jenna says she thinks Madison has the skills necessary to be a good second stew, but her moods are up and down. She gets emotional and defensive. The captain thinks Madison is looking for a scapegoat. They have a job to do, and need someone to do it. In his interview, he says, if someone doesn’t do their job, it’s letting the team down, and they need someone to do it. Jenna says Madison is complaining that she’s tired when she’s staying up with Parker, and not doing her job. In Jenna’s interview, she says Georgia isn’t doing her job managing Georgia. She wants to complain rather than doing her job. Captain Glenn asks to see Madison, and Jenna tells her that she and the captain have been having a chat and want her to join them. Jenna says he’s noticed a decline in Madison’s mood and behavior, and gathers it’s coming from lack of sleep. Madison says she had a long charter with the last one, and then a long day. Anyone would be exhausted, but she hasn’t been sitting on her ass. We flash back to the beach, when Madison and Ciara were supposed to set up for the guests’ picnic, but sat around for five hours instead. The captain says there’s obviously a problem with her performance, and she needs to go to bed and sleep. Fatigue can cause accidents. Madison says Jenna is supposed to be supportive, but speaks bitchy to her, even though it might not be her intention. Jenna says, it’s hard to have a heart to heart if Madison thinks she’s bitchy. She’s direct because she has no time to sugar coat things. Captain Glenn says it’s Jenna’s department, and asks if Madison is open to the idea that there might be changes she has to make. In his interview, he says it’s his personal belief, if you want to be a good leader, you need to start off being a good follower. You have to respect the hierarchy. Madison has to find a way to get along and be effective. He tells Madison, if she’s not open to that, she’ll be off the boat. In Madison’s interview, she says, fire her. See if you can find a better second stew who will put up with this sh*t. You won’t. Well, we could be talking about literally every second stew on the other two Below Deck shows, so I think that’s definitely possible.

Paget flirts with Georgia. Zzzz… Everyone stops by for pizza in the crew mess. Madison gathers empty beer bottles, and Parker tells her, take a load off and chill. She says she needs a minute. He asks if she wants to talk, and they leave. In the captain’s interview, he says, it’s a small boat, and there aren’t many places for a conversation in confidence. He hopes Madison can get past her frustration, reflect, and come back strong.

Madison tells Parker, she feels dumb, but Parker doesn’t understand what’s going on. She says, the way Jenna speaks to her, and Parker says, tell Jenna that she’s being a bitch, and back the f*** off. He really doesn’t understand what a boss is, does he? He tells Madison not to take Jenna’s bullsh*t, and defend herself. In Madison’s interview, she says, Parker is like chicken soup; warm, comfy, and supportive when she’s feeling bad. Parker says he’s dealing with Jenna telling him that he’s still being breastfed by his mom, and Madison laughs.

Back on the boat, Georgia tells Madison that they’re going to have fun when they go out. Madison is happy for a day off. She’s done with boat drama. She asks if they can go to the bar nearby. Paget says the deckhands are done, and asks how the girls are doing. Parker texts with Kaiti. He feels like he’s getting cabin fever, and the drama cloud is weighing down on him. Georgia says Madison and Parker wear their hearts on their sleeves. Madison says she can’t help the way she feels. Parker tells Georgia and Ciara, Kaiti is still his love, and he can’t help who he doesn’t want to hook up with. In his interview, he wonders why he has to worry about hurting Madison’s feelings, when she hasn’t told him that she has a crush on him. Georgia tells him not to wait until a bomb blows up before he diffuses it. Don’t wait for it to go off, then say he knew about it. He asks if he should send a text. Ciara and Georgia laugh, and Georgia says, men are ridiculous.

The crew’s day off. In Glenn’s interview, he says he’s happy they have a day off. He’s been noticing a lot of tension. It’s good for them to enjoy a day of leisure, and see life from the other side. He tells them, it’s time to take it easy. Ciara asks, where’s her effing shrimp cocktail? Ha-ha! Adam says it’s the first moment he and Jenna can be a normal couple. They goof around on deck. Georgia and Madison drink wine, and Madison says, it’s the most perfect day ever. And Paget is the whitest dude ever, taking off his shirt and showing us all his severe T-shirt tan. Ciara jokingly offers him more sunscreen.

Georgia plays guitar and sings, and Paget says she’s effing good. In Georgia’s interview, she says, the situation is hard. Paget is flirting with her, and the more time you spend with someone, the more you like them. She’d never do this on purpose. Ciara asks Paget to put tanning oil on her, but he’s not receptive to that. She says, Madison will do it. In her interview, Ciara says, Paget flirts with everyone. That’s the problem. Just not her. She says, it’s okay. She doesn’t need him; she’s got Madison. He says she can do her, and he’ll do him, and Georgia says she’ll do him. Everyone starts bouncing around, and in Jenna’s interview, she says she loves dancing. Apparently, dancing does not love her back, and Byron wonders if it’s a bad dancing competition. Captain Glenn asks if they’re enjoying their day off. Despite his protestations, Parker takes an Instagram video with Jenna, pretending to breastfeed and calling her mama. Pick a lane. Jenna can’t wait to get in the water. In Parker’s interview, he says he misses his parents, but he’s trying to make them proud.

Glenn drops anchor, and tells the crew that the water taxi is there. They go to shore, and head for the Akron Beach Club, not in Ohio. In Madison’s interview, she says she feels like a rock star. They do shots, and goof around in the pool. Ciara smokes a cigar. In her interview, she says she wants to do something different to surprise people. In Byron’s interview, he says he’s got a lot of responsibilities being a dad and an engineer. They live for a day off. Parker texts Kaiti, and asks if he can call. She says he can, and he tells her that he misses her. He saw a dive shop, but doesn’t want to go without her. He asks, if he buys a plane ticket, will she come there? In his interview, he says Kaiti coming to Corfu, and that makes him the happiest person in the world. A producer asks if those are happy tears, and he says, he always has happy tears. I’m starting to think he’s also imbalanced. Adam and Jenna make out in the pool. In Georgia’s interview, she says, Madison is a loaded gun at the moment. Leave your feelings at home; she’s having a good time. Parker tells Ciara about his ex flying there, and she says, then she isn’t really his ex. In Adam’s interview, he says, it’s scary having feelings, and it’s difficult to accept it’s currently happening. There’s no doubt Jenna is breaking down his walls. In Jenna’s interview, she says it’s the first time she’s had a total connection with someone, and it scares her. She thinks she’s learned who’s going to take care of Jenna, and it’s Jenna, but she still has to let someone in, and she’s rejected that for a long time. She thinks there’s a bit of hope.

The crew showers and gets dressed for dinner. Parker says, once they all have a drink, he has a few words to say. Byron takes a selfie with the group. Parker tells the waiter that he’ll be giving a speech, and asks that no one interrupt. Adam says, it better be a good speech. After everyone orders, Parker gets up, and tells everyone that he was talking to Jenna on the bow, telling her about his parents, and it reminded him of a letter his mom wrote him. He thinks every word is applicable to all of them. It’s basically a letter of various quotes, like, whatever you are, be a good one, from Abraham Lincoln. In Adam’s interview, he says, it’s incredibly endearing, but every wall is a door explains everything about Parker. Parker says, cheers to his effing mom, and Jenna asks if they can talk about this breastfeeding thing. Byron says Ciara and Paget are a fun couple. Ciara is great on deck, and she’s sleeping with the first mate. He asks how Adam’s sex life is, and Adam says, it’s sticky but he’d like it to get stickier. It’s hard to find privacy. Byron asks if they’d like to sleep in the master cabin, and Ciara says, as long as the two of them don’t blow up, and take it out on the rest of them, they’re fine with it. Byron says, before he was married, he hooked up with a lot of stewardesses. There are loads of places; he’ll give them a list. Byron gives them his blessing to use the master cabin, and they leave for the boat. In Adam’s interview, he says, butterflies are happening and sparks are flying. It’s a great feeling, and he wants it to keep going. She has his heart, and he’s ready. When they get to the boat, Jenna asks if he wants to head to the master, and he says, show him the way. In Jenna’s interview, she says, there’s been so much build-up, she’s nervous, but excited. A champagne cork is popped, and I’m guessing something else is too.

In Georgia’s interview, she says she has feelings for Paget. She’s feeding them with tequila, because it’s not okay. There are moments she wants to take the inappropriate option. Ciara sits on Georgia’s lap, and tells her they’ll finish later. Byron dances with Madison, and Ciara kisses Paget. He tells her that Georgia is jealous, and she asks if Georgia wants to join them. She tells Georgia that they’ll see her later. In Georgia’s interview, she thinks she’s agreeing to a threesome. Sorry, mom. She’s got a bucket list.

Everyone goes back, intending to continue the party. Byron says they need to get the loose chicks on board as soon as they can. When they get on the boat, Byron tells everybody to be quiet, and not wake the captain. They wake him up anyway, handing him a flask, and he’s an amazingly good sport about it. In his interview, Captain Glenn says, a hurricane just blew in; a drunk hurricane. Ciara tells Paget that she’s tired of drinking, and suggests they go to bed. Byron and Parker get in the hot tub, and Byron says if Parker wants to have a successful career, he has to adapt. Parker says he wants to build his own charter business, but he hears Byron. Byron says he doesn’t think Parker does. Madison gets in the hot tub, and tries joining in the conversation. Byron tells Parker that he’s been doing this for sixteen years. Georgia walks through the crew mess, and says, come on, bitches. She looks into Paget and Ciara’s cabin, but they’re asleep. In her interview, she says she thinks it would have been nice. A girl can dream. In the hot tub, Byron says, you can always earn money, but you can’t get back time. Madison tells them, have fun, and leaves.

Adam makes coffee for Jenna, and says, it was the nicest ever. In her interview, Jenna says, it was phenomenal, and she thinks they both feel the same way. In Byron’s interview, he says, waking up, he’s ruined. Adam notes that Byron is still wearing his hat, and thinks it’s a good sign. Ciara says, people behaved themselves for the most part, but Georgia isn’t sure she behaved. In Georgia’s interview, she says she has whiplash. Last night was weird, and she’s still trying to process it, when suddenly they’re all back to business.

Adam plays guitar, and Jenna says, just when she thought he couldn’t get hotter. Then she plays and sings. Dammit. Does everyone play guitar except me? Adam says she has an amazing voice. She’s pretty good, but I wouldn’t go that far. Captain Glenn docks, and  tells the crew, they’re all getting straight back into it. He tells Paget, Jenna, and Adam, there will be a preference sheet meeting in the crew mess.

The new primaries are Maisa and Chuck. Maisa is an international model from Brazil, and a scout for Playboy Slovakia. Their friends will be joining them to celebrate Maisa’s birthday. Adam checks out the food preferences, and thinks he can find a happy balance. Jenna says they want the water toys, sun bathing, and a picturesque location for a photo shoot. Paget adds they want a beach barbecue. The cabins are readied, and provisions come in. Captain Glenn calls for them to change into their polos. Jenna tells Madison and Georgia, she wants them to bump it up, and put on their happy faces. She tells Madison that she knows her direction isn’t always flowery, but she’s not trying to be mean. In Jenna’s interview, she’s hoping Madison learns what to do to improve herself, and put it into action. She tells Madison that Georgia internalizes what she’s told, and figures it out. In Madison’s interview, she says she won’t be broken. She’s staying on the boat.

The guests arrive, and Glenn gives them a formal welcome. Jenna gives them a tour of their home for the next few days. In Paget’s interview, he says if you’re a junior crew member, you either follow what your superior says or you’re not a good worker, and you look stupid. Jenna tells Chuck, the wind isn’t strong, but they’re going to try to sail. Jenna reminds Madison not to leave half-rolls of toilet paper in the cabins. Georgia looks through Jenna’s pictures on Instagram, and sees a picture of Jenna with her ex; they went to Universal Studios together. In her interview, Georgia says she’s had two relationships, so the chances were quite slim that she and Jenna went out with the same guy. She tells Madison, who says, life is so effing weird. Georgia hopes Jenna hasn’t shagged her ex, and I wonder, if they’re an ex, who cares? The guests take pictures, and anchor is dropped. Parker tells Madison that he wants to meet; just the two of them. The guests use a rope to jump into the water a la Tarzan.

Georgia tells Jenna about how they dated the same guy, and says, he was the best d*ck ever. Jenna suggests they take a picture together, and send it to him. Parker knocks on Madison’s door, and they step into his room to talk. He says there’s definitely something he wants to get clear. He loves her as a friend, but he’s in no place to be in a relationship with anybody. So is he flying Kaiti to Corfu to tell her that? In Madison’s interview, she says, this is embarrassing. Is he effing kidding her? He says she has to know that, and be his friend. She says, cool. In Georgia’s interview, she says her relationship with her ex was significant, but she treats people like shit, and he let her, so the relationship ended. I have no clue what that means. She thinks it’s bizarre that Jenna dated him. In the crew mess, Georgia says Jenna had a chance with someone cool and good. Adam says, he’s cool and awesome. Don’t f*** it up. In Georgia’s interview, she says, put the guns away. Byron comes by, and asks if they’re having a moment, and Adam says they’re talking about other people’s moments.

Dinner is prepared. Madison tells Georgia about Parker saying he loves her as a friend. In her interview, Madison says, with guys, she’s always the bro. Jenna tells Byron about her and Georgia dating the same guy. She says their relationship was short lived, and Byron says, a half hour? She says, a couple of months. I like Byron; he seems normal, and he’s pretty funny. Glenn brings up the sails, and Chuck says, it’s one helluva a big sail. He tells Maisa, this is a blast. Jenna jokes that Georgia’s standards are low, and Georgia says they have the same standards. Adam says he takes offense it that. It makes him sick to his stomach. Georgia laughs, and he tells her to stop laughing. It’s not funny; it’s disgusting. He walks out.

While I really like Byron, and am gaining respect for Captain Glenn, I’m really not sure what’s up with the rest of them. They seem like a bunch of immature twits, and I’m still not feeling it for this show. I’m honestly not sure why Adam is behaving so unreasonably, but maybe he’s self-sabotaging.

Next time, Adam says, food is for sharing, but not his significant others; a photoshoot happens; Byron doesn’t like Parker’s attitude in front of the guests; and Captain Glenn wants to have a chat with Parker.

👩🏻‍💻 News Flash…

Tonight’s guests on Watch What Happens Live (home edition) were Melissa Etherege and Kristen Johnson. Melissa said she’s smoking less weed during isolation because normally, life is more mundane. If Melissa Etherege’s life is mundane, what does that make mine? Kristen Johnston has been in her PJs for two weeks straight, and clutched her dog like he was a life preserver. What is she going to be like when and if this goes into a month?

🏖 Better Never Than Late…

While Summer House is mostly background noise while I’m waiting for the next show – spoiler alert: they’re still awful people – I did note that Shep, Craig, and Austen from Southern Charm dropped by for a visit last week. They fit right in, since the housemates were having a fraternity toga party, which fit right in with their sophomoric personalities. Unfortunately, they were no John Belushis.

💍 Looking Forward To It…

Seizing opportunity in a crisis, 90 Day Fiancé has added a new show to the franchise.



👠 You Can’t Keep a Good Drag Queen Down…



👍🏼 You’re Still Here…

You’ve passed the two week mark. Stay safe out there. Or in there. Whatever.

April 2, 2020 – Doc Visits Cyrus, Soap Changes, NYC Minus Bethenny, Artistic Chefs, Chef Quote, Juicy Joe Passes the Time, Cabaret Drama & Almost Two


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

I’ve consistently missed the beginning of the show every day this week, so why end the week any differently? <sigh> Sonny is taking Mike for a walk in the hallway, Molly has shown up to confront Jordan about TJ, and Doc pays Cyrus a visit.

On the phone Robert says, there’s nothing to be happy about, but the law doesn’t give them many choices. Laura says, that didn’t sound good, and he says, the information is going to be sent to Cyrus’s lawyers, who will ask for a writ of habeas corpus. Then a judge will look at it, and Cyrus walks. Laura says, that’s completely unacceptable. She won’t have that monster roaming free on the streets of Port Charles. He asks how she plans to stop him, and she says, watch her.

Sonny tells Mike, he’s got him, and Carly says they can come back. Brando says he just wanted to thank Mike for the summer at the track. He was ten years old, and obsessed with horses. Mike told him it ran in the family. Carly says, that sounds like Mike, and Mike says, Brando. Glady’s son. He remembers. Is Brando passing through? Carly says, Sonny is helping Brando open a garage in Port Charles. Mike says, good, and Sonny says, Brando is a nice guy. Brando says it was nice of Mike, and Mike says he appreciates him stopping by. He’s a little tired, so can Brando come by again some other time? Brando says he’d like that, and Carly tells Mike to get some rest. They’ll be there. Sonny walks Mike back to his room, and says it was a nice surprise visit. Mike says he doesn’t know Brando.

Curtis gets that Molly is upset, but it’s out of their hands. It’s time to accept it’s out of hers. TJ is a grown man, and taking time for himself. If the situations were reversed, TJ would respect her privacy. Molly says she’d make sure someone got a message to TJ, and not completely shut him out. Curtis says they don’t like how TJ is handling it, but it’s time they were all patient. She says she’s done being patient. TJ completely ghosted her, and is ignoring her texts and calls. She knows he’s disappointed, but this is vindictive and mean. Jordan says they don’t know where he is, and Molly says TJ is responding to Jordan, and asks if she’ll give him a message. She’s tired of the cold shoulder. They’re better than this, and they need to talk. Jordan says she’ll give TJ a message, but can’t guarantee when he’ll get back to Molly. Molly says Jordan knows how much she loves TJ, and Jordan says, she does, but right now, love isn’t enough. Molly says she’ll give TJ 24 hours, and then she’ll start a search herself. She’ll get Sam and Spinelli to help, and she’ll take out an ad in The Invader; have you seen this man? Jordan tells her to stop acting like a child.

On the phone, Laura tells someone she wants it as soon as possible. Robert asks if she’s going to keep him in suspense, or tell him. She says she’ll tell him when the time is right, and he says he hates being blindsided. She says Mac is out following leads on the warehouse and waterfront shootings, hoping they find something that ties it into Cyrus. Robert says, it’s more likely they won’t be able to, and Laura saysm the goal is to keep Cyrus locked up long enough to find evidence to make the charges stick. He says, suppose she succeeds? They know Cyrus can run his operation from behind bars. Laura says she told him that she wants to keep Cyrus locked up, but not in Pentenville.

Cyrus says, they brought in a shrink to get inside his head? Let him help Doc. No, he didn’t like to pull the wings off of flies. Doc says, but he did it anyway? Cyrus says they both know that’s not what he means, and Doc asks, what does he mean? Cyrus asks if this is how it’s going to go, and Doc says Cyrus’s first impulse was to insist he didn’t do something he thought Doc might ask about. Why that specific question? Cyrus says it’s what people like him ask, and Doc says, people like him; psychiatrists? Cyrus says, no, Methodists. I see we have another comedian behind bars. Doc says he’s interviewed many criminals like Cyrus, and Cyrus says, everyone wants to see what makes him tick. Why is that? Doc says he read Cyrus’s file. Cyrus says, and Doc has a fascination with him. Doc says, not necessarily fascination, and Cyrus says, but at least a healthy interest. He’s sure Doc has somewhere else he could be, but here he is. Doc says Cyrus’s second assessment was correct; an interest, not a fascination. Doc says he’s interviewed a lot like of men like Cyrus, and Cyrus says, but Doc has never met anyone like him.

Sam tells Jason that Spinelli followed Delores to her rendezvous. She’s having an affair with a councilmen, but they caught Spinelli taking pictures. Jason asks if it was in a hotel or motel, and Sam says, in the back of her car. Not the most discreet, but Delores threatened to arrest and charge Spinelli if he didn’t keep her secret. This also made it worse for Sam. Now Delores is determined to find something that will get her ass thrown back Pentenville. Jason says it’s time to stop looking for a way out; she was lucky she wasn’t thrown back in. She says her mom said the same thing, and he says she’s got to listen. If she thinks waiting is bad, it will be worse if she has to finish the rest of her sentence back in prison. Sam says they won’t see each other for a year and half. Is that what he wants? He says, no, but that’s what has to happen to keep her out of prison.

Mike tells Sonny, they’re trying to get one over on him, pretending they’re family. He needs Sonny to do something. Tell his boss that he needs to have security keep an eye on those two. Whoever they are, they’re up to no good.

Brando asks Carly if Mike is always like that, and she says, pretty much. She’s glad Mike recognized him, and he says, him too. That summer at the track is a good memory. She says, as Mike slips away, it’s important to remember the man he was. He says, Sonny is patient with him, and seems devoted. She says, when Mike was first diagnosed, Sonny worried that he couldn’t handle it, and couldn’t do what Mike needed. She never had any doubt. Family is everything to Sonny.

Molly says, it’s not being childish to want answers, but Jordan say she’s behaving like brat. Because TJ isn’t talking to her, she wants to call TV stations. She needs to get over it. She doesn’t want to see that her actions have consequences. She broke TJ’s heart, and he doesn’t want to be with her.

Doc tells Cyrus, that’s an intriguing statement. Does Cyrus think he’s more dangerous than other prisoners? Cyrus asks if that’s what Doc would like him to think, and Doc says he wants to know what Cyrus thinks. Is he more dangerous, or more of a threat? Cyrus tells Doc, he said he was more interesting, and Doc says, so he’s not dangerous? Cyrus says, he didn’t say that. Doc writes something, and Cyrus asks if Doc thinks he’s got him figured out. Doc says he’s documenting Cyrus’s veiled threat. When he asked if Cyrus was more dangerous, he refused to confirm it. Cyrus says, Doc thinks that’s a threat? and Doc says, a veiled one. It’s like when someone says, nice car. It would be a shame if something happened to it. Cyrus says, if he threatens Doc, he’ll know it. Cyrus wonders if he can ask Doc a question, and Doc says, of course (🍷); ask away. He asks if Doc could be perceiving an innocuous statement as a threat because of a manifestation of his own insecurities. Doc says, touché. He bets Cyrus is an excellent chess player. Cyrus says he never loses. Doc says, it’s been insightful, and thanks him. Cyrus says Doc never told him why he’s there. Doc says he’s doing a study about men behind bars, specifically solitary confinement. He’s been speaking to a lot prisoners. Cyrus has been helpful. Cyrus says, Doc’s name is Collins? Doc says, it’s a common name, but Cyrus probably recognizes it because his wife is the mayor. Cyrus says, Laura. She’s the reason he’s in solitary. Doc says, is she? Cyrus says, be sure to send his regards, and Doc leaves.

Trina tells Ava, after her dad died, Jordan went back over the files, and says her dad faked evidence. She told the Justice Department, and they’re going to let Cyrus out of prison. Ava says, that’s unlikely; it would be a major reversal. Trina says she doesn’t know the legal term, but her father is dead, and Cyrus is going to be out. How is that justice? The media is going to trash her dad, when he’s not a bad cop. Her father was a good man. Ava says she didn’t have a chance to know him, but from what Trina has said, she bets there’s only one person whose opinion mattered to him – Trina’s.

Jason takes Sam’s hands. He says it doesn’t matter how much they hate this. What’s important is she’s free, and home safe with the kids. She says, of course (🍷) it’s important, but so is finding a way to be together. He asks if it’s worth the risk? Her chance of going back to prison is worse than ever, especially now. She asks, what’s going on? and he says, Cyrus is attacking Sonny on all fronts. Out here, he can make sure she’s protected, but if she goes back, she’ll be in the middle of a war zone. Is Pentenville a co-ed prison?

Sam says she thought Sonny was handling Cyrus, and Jason says he’s working on it. It’s tough. Cyrus is powerful, and has a lot of people. Sam asks what that means, and he says, Sonny and Cyrus handle things differently. There are things Sonny won’t do that cross the line, and there’s no line Cyrus won’t cross. No one is off limits. Sam says she knows. He kidnapped Cameron and Trina, and used them as leverage. He says, they weren’t the only ones. Cyrus has TJ Ashford.  

Brando tells Carly, he mostly focused on the horses, but he got the impression that Mike and Sonny weren’t close. Mike was sorry for that. Carly says, if Mike hadn’t gotten sick, Sonny would have been okay with the distance. They both would have, but with Alzheimer’s, the distance isn’t up to them. You have to fight for every single moment. Brando says he doesn’t think he could do it, and Carly prays he never had to find out what it’s like. Sonny wanted to make peace with Mike before he slips away. Brando says, as much as he wasn’t happy at first about them keeping him there, he has to admit, it’s been good to connect with family. Carly says they enjoy having him there, even though they’re taking time to get to know him. Brando needs to get back to the shop, and Carly says she’s good. He leaves, and someone with very LOUD shoes goes by. Sonny comes back, and says he just left his dad. Mike doesn’t know who Brando is.

Ava tells Trina, nothing and no one can tarnish the love her father had for her. He’s her hero, and that’s all that matters. In a way, Taggert is Ava’s hero too. Trina says Ava didn’t know him, but Ava says she knows Trina. Her father saved her. He put his love for her above everything else, even his own life. That’s the true test of a hero and parent, putting everything aside for their child. Trina wishes there had been some other way, and Ava says she knows how important it is for Trina to keep her father on a pedestal. Trina says she didn’t put him there; it’s just where he always was. He was always a hero to her.

Molly tells Jordan, her not wanting to get married to anyone has nothing to do with how much she loves TJ. Jordan says, maybe not, but TJ gave her his heart and life, and she threw it back in his face. He got the message. She made a choice that served her, and didn’t care about TJ’s feelings. Molly says, that’s not true, and Jordan says Molly could have fooled her. Molly says Jordan made her point, and Jordan says, has she? Before Molly launches a search, remember TJ didn’t leave; she pushed him away. Molly says she’s got it. She never expected to break up with TJ, and she sure didn’t expect him do it through his mother. She leaves, and Jordan leans against the door. She tells Curtis, she had to do it. She had to stop Molly from searching. Curtis says, it will be okay, and she says she prays it worked.

Sonny tells Carly, his dad was scared. He thought Brando was going to hurt him. He wants Sonny to tell his bosses to beef up security. Carly says she’s so sorry, and Sonny says he’s got to go tell his dad that his boss is getting more men. He laughs, and she asks if there’s anything she can do to help? He says she’s done a lot already, and thanks her.

There’s a knock at the garage door, and Brando opens it to Molly. He says they’re closed, and she says, of course (🍷). It’s that kind of day. She guesses she’ll have to call a tow. She drives a hybrid, since it’s better for the environment. He asks what she hit, and she says, nothing; she went over a curb. The undercarriage is making a grating noise, and she doesn’t want to wreck the engine. He asks if there was any chance she was drinking, and she says she wishes; she’s totally sober. He asks if any other cars were involved, and if she needs the police, but she says it was just her. Sorry to bother him. She should have called a tow to begin with since the garage was closed. He says, on second thought, he’ll check it out.

Laura asks how it went, and Doc tells her, as expected. Cyrus is a narcissist. He made a subtle, veiled threat when his pride was hurt. He took exception to Doc minimizing how dangerous he was. She asks if they can lock him up, and Doc says, he’s sane. Under ordinary circumstances, he’d be opposed to that, but he has no problem recommending that he be moved to a psychological facility under medical supervision. Robert comes in and asks if that’s the plan. Laura asks how much he heard, and he says, enough to know it’s not going to work. Laura says she can have Cyrus transferred to Ferncliff, and Robert asks, for how long? She says they can keep him long enough for an extensive evaluation. Long enough to come up with a fresh case against him. Robert says Cyrus’s lawyers are going to take one look, and see it’s a ploy to keep Cyrus behind bars. Laura says she’ll argue that she wants him to get the care he needs. Robert says, and Doc will argue that it’s in his best interest. Doc says, exactly, and Laura says she’s not above doing what she has to, to keep Cyrus off the street, including having him committed. Robert says, it’s not going to work.

Mike recognizes Sonny, and asks, what took so long? Sonny apologizes, and Mike says, it’s all right; Sonny is there now. He hates hospitals. Can Sonny get him out? He just wants to go home. Sonny says, as soon as the doctors say it’s okay, he’ll take Mike back to Turning Woods. He remembers Turning Woods, right? Mike says, it’s a great place, but after that they get to go home, right? He doesn’t want to be around these people anymore; it doesn’t feel right. Sonny tells him to rest, and Mike says he’s tired. Sonny says, take a break. Close his eyes, and don’t worry. They’ll be waiting. Mike takes Sonny’s hands, and says, everything is going be all right. Sonny will see when they get back Bensonhurst; it will be all right. Mike lies down, closes his eyes, and drifts off.

Sonny goes back out, and Carly asks how Mike is doing. Sonny doesn’t know, and tells her to go home; he’s got to stay tonight. She says she knows how hard it is when Mike doesn’t recognize him, but Sonny says, he did. He knew Sonny’s name, the whole thing; he was great. Sonny sits down, and says, his dad wanted him to take him back to Bensonhurst. He looked Sonny in the eye, and he hasn’t done that in days. He said all he wants to do is go home.

Brando tells Molly, it’s not bad. It just needs some front end work. She asks if she should take it to the dealership, and he says, it’s up to her. She says he was nice enough to take a look, and she’d rather give him the business, assuming he can do the repair. He says, sure, and she says he doesn’t sound enthusiastic. He says he’s happy for the business, but she didn’t chose to come there, and he wasn’t recommend. She came out of desperation, and he doesn’t want to take advantage of that.

Ava says, any time Trina wants to talk, or even if she doesn’t, she’s available. Right now though, she’d like Trina to do something for her. Trina says, name it, and Ava says, call her mother. Let her know she’s safe. Ava knows what it’s like to worry about a daughter, no matter how angry she is. Trina takes out her phone, and calls. Ava gives her privacy.

Curtis tells Jordan, Molly will get over it, but Jordan says she can’t get over the look on Molly’s face. He says, when this is over, Molly will know Jordan was trying to protect her, and understand that Jordan loves her. She says here’s hoping it worked. Not just for Molly. Everyone needs to believe TJ is just dealing with rejection and disappeared. Curtis says, it makes sense, and she says she has to break Molly’s heart and destroy the reputations of the finest agents she’s ever met to make sure Cyrus and his drug dealing are off the streets.

Brando tells Molly, there’s no website yet; he just opened. She asks if it was a surprise, and he says he didn’t plan on opening a garage, not in Port Charles anyway. Long story. She says she loves them; the more convoluted, the better. He asks if she’s a novelist, and she says she’s a published author. She was sixteen at the time. He says, that’s even more impressive, and she says, it was a romance novel. Looking back, it was arrogant to think she could write about life and love, when she knew nothing. He asks if she still writes, but she says, not any more. Now she’s a law student. He says, so if she doesn’t like the repair, she’ll sue him. She asks if he can repair it, and he says he can. She says, at a fair price? and he says, absolutely. She says she’ll have no grounds. He says not to act grateful yet. He hasn’t drawn up the estimate. She says, it’s the perfect rotten end of a perfectly rotten day.

Trina tells Ava, her mom was glad she checked in, and Ava says she’s sure Portia would like to keep Trina at home, and not let Trina out of her sight. Trina says, normally, she’d hate that, but now, it’s not so bad. All of it is going to be coming out; the evidence her dad supposedly planted. It will be all over the news, and his name will be dirt. She’ll be the only one who remembers what a good man he was. Ava says, even if everyone loses faith, Trina won’t, and she’s the only person who matters. Trina says, it doesn’t feel like enough, and Ava says, she is; she was for him. Her father left behind an incredible legacy. Not just with his work as a cop, but with the way Trina saw him walk through the world. He shaped her, and she’s extraordinary. Trina is his legacy. They hug.

Curtis promises it will end, and Jordan will take Cyrus out. She wonders what’s taking so long. They have everything they need for Cyrus to vacate. He says she knows how it goes. They have to get the order in front of a judge. She says, and once they do, the most evil man she’s ever known is going to go free.

Laura asks if Robert is suggesting they just sit back and let Cyrus go free. He says the justice system isn’t perfect, but they can’t disrespect it. Doc says, not even if it was a random drug lord, whose body count was strangers? It’s a legitimate course of action. Robert says, it’s nothing to be happy about, but they have to get used to the fact Cyrus is getting out. And when he does, Laura will be in his crosshairs for what she did to him in Pentenville. Laura says she’s not worried about herself, but her city. Port Charles is going to see a spike in drug trafficking. She asks if there’s any other option to delay Cyrus’s release.

Sonny tells Carly, he thought watching his father fade away  would be the hardest part. His father knowing him, looking him in the eye, father to son, and pleading that all he wants  to do is go home; it’s the one thing Sonny can’t give him. This is hell. He can’t do it. Carly holds him, and says, yes, he can. She’s got him.

On Monday – tomorrow they’ll be airing their 56th Anniversary episode (originally aired on April 3rd, 2019) – Josslyn wants to find Trina, Jason tells Sam that he can’t do this anymore, and Carly asks Sonny what the hell he’s going to do.

🩹 The Hospital Skinny…

More on what’s to come for GH’s schedule.


The Real Housewives of New York City

We begin with the news of Bethenny’s exit, and how the cast found out, since apparently, Bethenny didn’t let anyone know. She could be caustic, but she was also intelligent, funny, and knew her way around a kitchen. And most important, every once in a while, blew her stack and said what was on all our minds. Life. Is. Not. A. Cabaret. Sonja feels abandoned all over again, and Ramona thinks it will be better; the women will be freer in spirit. In LeeAnn’s interview, a producer asks how she feels. LuAnn says, it’s hard to say. She’ll miss Bethenny, but the show must go on – without her.

LuAnn leaves the criminal court building, accompanied by Sonja. They hug on the steps, and LuAnn says, it’s finally over. She stops by a coffee cart on the corner, telling Sonja it’s her coffee guy. He says he thought she was finished, and in her interview, she says, it’s finally over; her probation is finished. It’s been almost two years. We flash back to LuAnn looking sad in court, and explaining to the others that she had to use a breathalyzer to drive. She says what people don’t understand is that she wasn’t fully present. This was always on her mind. It’s like someone lifted a ton of bricks. They sit and chat, and Sonja says, when LuAnn was first arrested, she didn’t care. She hit bottom, and thought things were great. Then she started becoming a cabaret star, and she wasn’t there for them. LuAnn says, what about her? Ugh. Same old. Sonja says she treated them like fans. In Sonja’s interview, she lists some of the ways LuAnn was a brat last season. The tantrum in the fish room, dumping Sonja after the AA meeting to go see her own poster, and coming back without truffle fries. That’s the real misdemeanor. LuAnn didn’t understand Sonja’s pain. As they hug, Sonja eats a pretzel behind LuAnn’s back.

Tinsley meets friend, and new cast member, Leah at the gym. In Tinsley’s interview, she says the summer was all about her. She moved on from Scott, worked on her lash line, and went to China, bringing back two puppies, Strawberry and Shortcake. She’s been focusing on herself, and it feels liberating. She met Leah a couple months ago, and Leah brings out her wilder side. She says what she feels, and has no filter. She also has a twelve-year-old daughter. Tinsley takes her hoops off, saying she feels like she’s losing  part of herself. Boxing trainer Martin says, nobody gives a f***. After the session, Tinsley and Leah sit and talk. Tinsley tells Leah that she only knew Chicago through Scott, but met Bruce while she was there. She doesn’t like his name, but she can’t change it. He’s been married twice and has three kids. In her interview, Tinsley thinks it’s the best way to have children; she can give them back. She tells Leah, she’s usually all-in immediately, but it’s the first time she’s being guarded, and not thinking too far ahead. Leah says she’s enjoying being single. She and her last boyfriend went to France, and on the flight home she asked what was going on with his divorce. He said it was on hold, so she told him that her p*ssy was on hold too. Ha! Good one.

Dorinda is still with John, and she’s prepping for his cooking class – i.e. her teaching him how to make lasagna. She tells him the doctor says she’s healing like a twenty-year-old, and he says she still acts like a twenty-year-old. In her interview, Dorinda says Carson Kressley was teaching her some Dancing with the Stars moves at a dinner party, flung her over a balcony, and she broke a rib. There was no mention as to whether alcohol was involved. She tells John, it forced her to look at things, and become dependent on him. In Dorinda’s interview, she says her injury made it necessary for her and John to spend time together. It’s been good, but weird; she’s not used to it. She confirms that familiarity breeds contempt.  They make lasagna, and Dorinda tells him about LuAnn. She doesn’t know why it’s a big deal. In Dorinda’s interview, she says she and LuAnn are in a good place, but their friendship had gone off the tracks. We flash back to mostly Dorinda being mean to LuAnn, and yelling, Jovani! during LuAnn’s cabaret show. She says, they’ve both transitioned to better places, and she’s not overthinking it.

Ramona meets friends Maria, Missy and Elyse, along with new neighbor/friend Mitchell, at a bar. In Ramona’s interview, she says she had a fabulous summer. She sold her condo, and has a new apartment on the Upper East Side, but she was living the Hamptons life. She admits she’s been escaping; masking something in her mind. She tells her friends that she feels like a youngster, but she’s sixty, and lacks direction. She feels empty and alone. In her interview, she says she has no important man in her life. Elyse says she’s surprised that Ramona feels that way, and Ramona starts to cry. Oh, yay. The bar buddy everyone wants. A weepy one. She says she wants a man to hold her, love her, and marry her, and doesn’t know if she’ll find one. I should add, an embarrassing bar buddy as well, since she’s LOUD.

Leah and daughter Kier go out to a juice bar. In her interview, Leah says, New York City is the best city in the world, and I tend to agree. She has a clothing line, Married to the Mob (which I’m actually familiar with), and lives with her daughter. They’re best friends, soulmates, and life partners. She doesn’t know if that’s healthy, but it’s the way it is. Kier is starting school soon, and Leah tells her to be herself, try her best, and don’t let the bitches get to her. Kier says her grandma told her that Leah was a horrible child. In Leah’s interview, she says their family situation isn’t traditional. Her baby daddy was her first love, and she thought they’d be together until they died, but they haven’t been together since Kier was two. Even so, he’s pretty much family.

Ramona visits Sonja, along with her pup Coco, who wants to romance Sonja’s pup Marley, even though there’s nothing they can ultimately do about it, since they’re fixed. Sonja says she’s been a recluse and has gas. Ramon tells Sonja not to send any of that her way. Sonja says she just took her daughter to college, and she lost it. In Sonja’s interview, she says when her daughter was in boarding school, she came home on weekends with her friends. The best Sonja can do now is be supportive about college, but she’s dying inside. Ramona says, when kids are away, they appreciate you more, and Sonja says she wants to give her daughter space. Sonja says, when she went to college, she flew the coop, and never looked back. The dogs continue to go at it.

Dorinda prepares for a party on the rooftop of Magic Hour restaurant. In her interview, she says she’s the entertainer of the group. You never know what you’ll get with Sonja, Ramona always invites the same thirty people, LuAnn’s parties always have a ticket booth out front, and who would Tinsley invite? Scott? We flash back to Dorinda calling Tinsley out on Scott and living in the hotel. Dorinda tells her makeup artist, Tinsley gave her a speech on how she didn’t want to hear conspiracy theories about her life, but she tells it like she sees it.

Tinsley tells her hair stylist that she’s anxious because she’s about to see the girls. The accusations about her and Scott are bullsh*t. We flash back to a Scott moment. In Tinsley’s interview, she wishes she understood why Dorinda is focused on her. Clearly something is going on in her own life that’s making her unhappy, so she’s projecting. Dorinda says she doesn’t know anything about Tinsley. The minute they go deep, Tinsley retracts like a turtle. In Dorinda’s interview, she says she doesn’t know if Tinsley has the ability to open up, but they’re not cocktail party talkers; they’re bad bitches.

Tinsley brings Leah to Dorinda’s party, and Leah wonders if there are any eligible bachelors to pick up. In her interview, Dorinda says she’s good at parties. She brings people from all different places and professions, and throws them into a room like a crazy soup, then puts the heat on high. Tinsley refuses to clink glasses because Sonja and Leah aren’t drinking alcohol, and it’s bad luck. I think that applies only to water, but Tinsley lives in her own world. She puts a drink stirrer in her drink, and then sticks it in theirs to make it okay. New rule. In Leah’s interview, she says she and alcohol have a weird relationship. She didn’t drink for nine years, and then started again six months ago. She enjoys going crazy. We see a clip of her telling Tinsley that every twenty times, she’s a hot mess and takes a loser home, wondering how he got there the next morning. The other night she drank too much, and lost Chanel bag along with her passport, so she’s putting it on pause. Everyone comments on Dorinda’s fabulous new haircut, which really does flatter her. LuAnn says she has her life back. In her interview, LuAnn says, it’s hard to wrap her head around the fact she could have gone to jail for having a drink, and now she can do what she wants. She worked hard to get where she is, and doesn’t want to give it up. She’s Lu and improved. Tinsley introduces Leah to everyone.

Dorinda welcomes everyone. She says, another summer is over, and she wanted to have an end-of-the-summer party, since they scatter during the summer. She tells them that she has a big surprise, and drag queen Chelsea Piers comes out (no pun intended), and performs Feelin’ Jovani, while LuAnn fights for the spotlight. In LuAnn’s interview, she says obviously Dorinda has gotten past this. It’s not an olive branch; it’s the whole tree. In Leah’s interview, she says she has no clue what Jovani is, and looks it up on her phone, looking confused when she finds out it’s a clothing designer. I guess she’s never watched this show. In Dorinda’s interview, she says, she loves hard, fights hard, and forgives easily. It seems ridiculous now. Leah explains she’s a native New Yorker, and LuAnn says, but she looks so normal. Leah says she doesn’t see herself tied down, but Ramona says she wants to be tied down. (Leaving those jokes for someone else.) LuAnn tells Leah, they’re kind of old school, since they were both married a long time. Leah and LuAnn compare arrests, and oddly enough, both attacked police officers. In Leah’s interview, she says she ran into a guy she had a crush on 4th of July, 2002. She was mid-kiss when suddenly five cops were beating him up. Her kneejerk reaction was to hit a cop, and he punched her, then smashed her face into the subway grate. Nice. She sued and won, and decided she’d been making bad choices, so she’d be smart with the money, and used it for her brand.

Tinsley asks Dorinda to come outside and talk. They sit, and Tinsley says she feels like they were friends, but had issues, and she wants to have a lunch date where they can talk. Dorinda says, about Tinsley’s text on conspiracy theories, she’s always trying to pull information out of Tinsley. She saw Tinsley in January, when she’d said she wasn’t with Scott, and a week later, she was having dinner with him. In Dorinda’s interview, she says, it’s about transparency. Tinsley has things going on, and they find out about them elsewhere. She thinks Tinsley is a riddle they’re never going to solve. She doesn’t know the answer. Tinsley wins. Inside, Sonja chats up hot guy William, who’s Ramona’s ex-lover. Sonja says Ramona is always going after her guys, so she’s turning the tables. She tells William that she’s not dating young guys, but if you don’t use it, you lose it. Leah doesn’t think he can handle Sonja. In her interview, Leah feels like William is the kind of guy who wouldn’t know his way around a woman’s body, rub you in the wrong place, and you’d have to explain it to him or he’ll just keep it up. Sonja says she doesn’t want to go home empty-handed. Wake up and smell the Sonja. Dorinda tells Tinsley, it’s not just her, but Tinsley says, actually, it is. Dorinda won’t listen to her, and keeps calling her a liar. Dorinda says, don’t put words in her mouth.

Dorinda tells Tinsley not to be tricky with her. Don’t ride up on her and make a statement. I have no idea what that means. Tinsley says she doesn’t give a sh*t, and what she thinks is that Dorinda doesn’t want to be her friend. Dorinda says she wants to know who Tinsley is, but Tinsley just wants to make a big statement, and it’s not going to work. Dorinda flounces off, and plops down next to LuAnn on a couch. She tells LuAnn that Tinsley came up on her hot, and told Dorinda not to be all gangster, but Dorinda said she is gangster. I think maybe she’s just mean. Tinsley said everybody knows her except Dorinda. Tinsley sits down in between Ramona and Leah, and says she only said she wanted to talk to Dorinda, and Dorinda said she was fake. In Tinsley’s interview, she says if she’s not talking, Dorinda says she’s hiding something, but if she asks for a private conversation, she’s fake. She can’t win. Leah asks, what’s going on? and Dorinda and Tinsley continue to bicker. In LuAnn’s interview, she says, she’s already been there, and the last thing she’s doing is inserting herself into this dog fight. She tries to switch seats with Tinsley, but Tinsley isn’t moving. Dorinda gets in Tinsley’s face, and tells her to shut her mouth. Leah asks if Tinsley is going to let Dorinda talk to her like that. Tinsley says she doesn’t care what Dorinda has to say, and Dorinda says, kindergarten is starting. In Leah’s interview, she says, Dorinda is like the snake in Beetlejuice, but scarier and meaner. Dorinda says this is boring her, and starts to walk away, but her heel gets stuck. Tinsley says, don’t trip (totally missing the opportunity to say, have a nice trip; see you next fall). Dorinda gets up close and personal again, and says her heel got stuck. The difference is, she bought her shoes. She didn’t lie on her back for them. She twirls around, but not nearly as well as Kenya, and walks away. Tinsley says, you’re a jealous bitch, bitch.

And away we go.

This season – parties, costumes, Ramona on a swing, Sonja falling, Leah says they’re all hot effing messes, LuAnn is back at cabaret, Tinsley wants to move to Chicago, Dorinda pretends everything is okay, LuAnn forgot how good vodka tastes, a trip to Mexico, a trip to a cornfield, revisiting the fish room, LuAnn swears she never screwed the pirate, and Dale wonders what’s wrong with her and Tinsley?

👨🏽‍🍳 On Top Chef, comedian chefs Ali Wong and Randall Park, who met during a fried rice competition where they went to school, gave the chefs their quickfire challenge of creating a fried rice dish, the winning chef getting immunity. The chefs had thirty minutes to make the best damn fried rice that was creative and inventive. Given a display table of ingredients, they were also to use at least one ingredient from the choices. You’d have thought they were going for rolls of toilet paper, the way the chefs grabbed the components they wanted. Kevin was the winner, using flaming hot Cheetos, hot dogs, and bourbon. I assume it tasted better than it sounds, since Ali said it was like a party in her mouth.

The elimination challenge was next, with the chefs going to the Getty Museum for inspiration. The challenge was to interpret a work of art on a plate, using four movements; baroque, neoclassicism, renaissance, and rococo. Since Kevin won the Quickfire, he got to choose first, and selected baroque. The rest of the contestants took knives from a block, each with a movement on it. After the museum, it was on to Whole Foods to shop for ingredients. Someone pointed out LOUD shoes, and I had to laugh, since I’d just mentioned that in the GH recap, and I wonder if it’s a thing now. The chefs were to tell a story through their choice of ingredient, and Ludo Lefebvre was introduced as guest judge.

Padma said they had some glorious, artful food, but had to choose one masterpiece. The winning spot went to Melissa’s won ton soup.

When the chefs on the bottom were called out, Padma told Karen that she ended up in the bottom because Kevin had immunity. In her interview, Karen made it clear how pissed she would be if she was out for that reason. She creeped me out a little during this episode. Not only did she practically hiss her displeasure about possibly losing, she most definitely glared at Kevin when he got the immunity in the first place. I also highly doubt had he not had it, he would have taken any chances. Joe said while the dish chosen didn’t lack artistry, it lacked the technique to present the artistry. Jamie had to pack up his knives and go for his dish being too dry. He said it sucked to leave this early, and wished he had delivered better cookery; there was no greater sin. His hope was in the Last Chance Kitchen, and to get back in the competition, doing the type of food he wants, the way he wants to do it. Next time, Kelly Clarkson is guest judge, and the chefs are challenged with a vegetarian menu.

🥠 The best quote came from Brian: I am not making baby Jesus today.

🐐 On Watch What Happens Live, we learned from Melissa and Joe Gorga that during quarantine in Italy, Joe Giudice is picking broccoli and chasing goats. Alrighty then.

👠 Don’t Pandemic Me…

One of LuAnn’s employees passive/aggressively called her out on Instagram.


But she’s not having it during this crisis.


👩🏽‍🚀 Almost Two Weeks In…

The good news is, chickens are still laying eggs, and the sky hasn’t fallen… yet. Shah you tomorrow.

March 31, 2020 – Jordan Involves the DOJ, Two Pranks Are Played, Loving Is Back, a Last Season, New GH Schedule, Soaps Rate, Okay Andy & Tired


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

I missed the very beginning, because I was running early. Why, Lord, why?

At the MetroCourt, Lulu sees Brook. Dustin asks if Lulu is sure this is a good idea. Does she remember what happened the last time? She says she remembers exactly what happened.

Trina apologizes to Cameron for being late. She lost track of time talking to Ava. Cameron says, it’s totally fine. Everything good? She says, yeah. Him? He flashes back to the kiss, and Trina saying, if she’d lost him, she wouldn’t be able to do any of this, and him saying, neither could he. He tells Trina, it’s all good.

Portia tells Curtis, she knew there was a lot Taggert couldn’t tell her, and frankly there was a lot she didn’t want know. Even when they were breaking up, she still cared about him, and he did everything he could to reassure her. Curtis says, she suspected it was Cyrus when Taggert was killed. He must have told her something about the investigation. She asks why it’s important, and Curtis says he and Jordan are always trying to figure out what to bring home, and what to leave at the office. It must have been the same with them.

Laura goes to the station, and sees Mac. She asks if Jordan is in her office, but he says she’s in a meeting. Laura asks if Mac means Jordan is interrogating a suspect, and Mac says he means she’s in a meeting. Laura gets that Mac isn’t used to her being mayor, but she has to ask him what’s going on.

In the interrogation room, Cliff sets up a recorder, and says, it’s an interview with Jordan regarding the arrest and conviction of Cyrus Renault. He asks if Jordan consents to the recording. She does, and he tells her to please explain her involvement in the arrest and conviction of Cyrus Renault.

Alexis says Finn doesn’t seem surprised to hear that she fell off the wagon. He says he feels terrible that he missed her call, but she says it’s not his job to keep her sober; it’s hers. Last night, she let her team down. He says they’re on the same team. If she has some time, he’d like to talk. She says she had one drink, but he says they both know it’s never just one. Alexis says, it’s all she had, and he says she’s been sober almost three years. What changed? She says, apparently, she did, or that’s what she was told. It’s the truth. He says, and that’s bad because… She says, because she stopped fighting for herself and what she believes in. Instead, she protected someone and crossed the line. He says she’s not first person to ever do that. What’s so horrible that she would end three years of sobriety? She says she slept with the person she protected, and she knew it was wrong, but the worst thing is that she’d do it again in a heartbeat. He says he believes her, and asks if she slept with them because she had a drink, or did she drink because she slept with them?

Julian and Britt cuddle in bed, and Julian says, he can get used to this. She tells him to remember their deal. It’s just fun, and at the end of the day, he goes his way and she goes hers. Britt says she probably should go, and he asks if it’s visiting hours at the jail. She says she’s already seen her mother, and once is enough. He asks if Obrecht is still claiming Peter framed her, and she says her mother lives by the motto, deny, deny, deny. She never takes responsibility for her crimes. He says, unlike Britt’s best pal Brad. He can’t believe Brad was involved in a baby switch, and she says Brad isn’t the villain Julian wants him to be. Julian knows Brad is Britt’s best friend, but Brad did betray his son’s trust in the worst possible way. She says, things are not always black and white. If he took the time to understand… He says, like her? She says she and Brad are kindred spirits. Now Brad is in prison, and they can only interact through a glass partition. She’s lost her best friend, and doesn’t know how she’s going to replace him in her life. Brad is the only person who got her, and without him, it feels pretty lonely.

Ned tells Brook, no one would be thrilled with a rematch, and she says, Lulu is a smug self-righteous, spoiled brat. There’s no way she’s letting Lulu win. He says, it’s not a competition. Blame him. He shouldn’t have forced her to work at ELQ. He’s going to find her a job more suitable to her talents. She says her talents belong on stage, and that’s exactly where she’s going.

Dustin says, the mess with Brook is over, isn’t it? and Lulu asks why she should go easy on Brook. He says, Brook is social media’s new punching bag, and she’s been beaten enough. She says, tell her that he doesn’t feel sorry for Brook, and he says he knows the reason Lulu resents Brook; she was desperate to become a success, like him. She says Brook dumped him because he couldn’t help her, but she has better things to do than scratch Brook’s eyes out, as much as she’d like to. He says, name one, and she says, this. They kiss, and Olivia approaches their table. She asks if anyone would care to hear the specials.

Trina asks Cameron how practice is going, and he says, good, but weird. It kind of freaks him out. When he’s playing, his focus is totally on the ball. She says, it’s not weird. She gets the same feeling at the gallery. It’s all about the work. She forgets the drama, and the questions that have no answers. He says he thought her mom didn’t like Ava, and Trina says, her mom doesn’t, but she does. She can talk about anything to Ava. He says that’s like him and Franco, and she asks what they talk about. He says, they were just talking about his last session with Dr. Bern. She says, Dr. Bern? Isn’t he… Cameron says, a therapist, yes. His mother thought he needed someone to talk to because… She asks if he thinks he needs a therapist, and he says, now she sounds like Dr. Bern. He agreed to go so his mother would stop treating him like a basket case. Trina says, he’s entitled to be a basket case, but he says she went through a lot more. She tells him not to compare their tragedies. She’s glad he can talk to Franco, and he says he’s glad she has Ava, but be careful; Josslyn doesn’t trust her. Trina says she gets why, but her experience is completely different, and Ava has been supportive. She wonders why something awful has to happen before they realize they’re not alone. He says that’s a good question, but he doesn’t have an answer.

Curtis asks Portia if Taggert was the kind of guy who brought his work home with him, and she says, sometimes. He says, even when it came to Cyrus? and she asks why he cares. He says he’s just curious because she mentioned balancing work and married life. She asks why it matters now.

Jordan says she was part of a four member team at the DEA. They were a task force assigned to Cyrus. Her, Bob, Mark, and Taggert. All three died in a three month period. Two from overdoses, who had no history of drug use, and Taggert was murdered. She became concerned and went over the DEA files. That’s when she realized there were discrepancies in the evidence. Cliff asks her to elaborate, and she says, upon further examination, she saw the material evidence used to convict Cyrus may have been fabricated. He asks if she knew they’d been obstructing justice, but she says she just had a sneaking suspicion.

Laura knows Mac was working on figuring out how Cyrus got messages from prison out to the street, but Mac says, so far, they have nothing. Laura wonders if the lead is in front of him, and he asks if she’s suggesting they have a dirty cop. She hopes not, but somebody is helping Cyrus. Jordan and Cliff come out of the interrogation room, and Jordan looks at Laura.

Cliff says, now the DOJ will have to be involved, and trusts Jordan won’t leave town. She says, of course (🍷) not. Mac asks, what’s going on? and she says, long story. It will have to wait. He says what’s more important if it involves the people he works with? but she says, it doesn’t. It’s about her and Cyrus. She leaves, and Mac and Laura look at each other.

Trina and Cameron walk as they talk. Trina says Josslyn and Dev can’t leave the property without a security guard. It would make her rip her hair out. It was bad enough with her mother texting her ten times a day, and monitoring where she is. He asks if her mother has backed off yet.

Lulu tells Olivia, she’s sorry about trashing the restaurant, but Brook started the fight. Olivia asks if that was before or after Lulu doused Brook with champagne. Lulu says Brook has done nasty things to her, but Olivia says Lulu has done the same. Like printing Brook’s careless post in The Invader. By the way, that’s not even her beat. Lulu says she didn’t tell Brook to post it in the first place, but even if she hadn’t written about it, someone else would have. Olivia says, it wasn’t someone else; it was Lulu. She gets that Dante is gone, and Lulu is acting out. What she doesn’t understand is that in moving on, why Lulu has turned her back on Olivia and the family. She says she thought Lulu was part of the family, and walks away.

Ned knows Brook has a plan to secretly write and record until she gets her creative property rights back, but does she think it’s a good idea to go on stage? Brook says she doesn’t need to be secretive anymore. She found a way out. He says Diana and ELQ”s lawyers couldn’t break Brook’s contract, and Brook found a way? She says she didn’t need to. After Ned decided to embarrass her, she decided to give Linc what he wants. He says, she’s not going to have… and she says, no. All he needs to know is that she’s now free and clear of her soul-sucking contract. He says it’s not all needs to know. What did she give Linc to make him walk away?

Julian tells Britt, there are way more appropriate candidates for best friend than Brad. She just looks at him, and he says he’s sorry she lost her best friend. Would she like a drink? She asks if by other candidates, he means like him, and he asks if that’s so horrible. Does she have something in common with more upstanding citizens in Port Charles? She says her alleged crimes were an act of love. She doesn’t think holding a knife to his ex’s throat is considered an act of love. Julian says he and Alexis are in a better place now, and she asks if Alexis forgave him. Julian says Alexis got therapy, and Britt says her therapist must be good. As she remembers, Alexis doesn’t forgive so easily. He says, so good, Alexis fell for him. She’s stopped therapy, but hasn’t stopped seeing Dr. Bern. Britt says, Dr. Bern? and Julian asks if she knows him.

Alexis tells Finn, her reasons for drinking are complicated, and he says, they usually are. Would one of the complications be Julian? She doesn’t blame him for coming up with that, but Julian was a good guy, and picked her up the bar. Sam called her coward. He says, and Alexis believed her? She’s fearless and courageous, but Alexis says she lacked courage when the going got rough. Maybe she drank because she can’t be with the guy. Finn says it sounds like she cares about him very much, and she says, it’s just… Neil walks in, and a lightbulb comes on over Finn’s head.

Neil says he thought there was a staff meeting there. Alexis says, it was an AA meeting, and Neil says maybe he got the meeting wrong. Finn says he’s got the wrong room, and tells Neil where it is. Neil says he’s going to bring a GPS next time, but Finn says, when he’s been there a while, he’ll figure it out. Finn kept thinking the supply closet was the on-call room. Alexis says she has to take off, and Neil says he does too, but Finn asks if he can asks a couple of questions. It will just take a minute. He wants to pick Neil’s brain about a patient, and it might have legal complications. Alexis says she has a meeting, and Neil says he’ll be late, but Finn ignores them. He says he’s been treating a patient who’s taken a series of experimental drugs, and is now confessing to bizarre crimes. Maybe the crimes are real; maybe they’re the patient’s imagination. Or maybe it’s their mental illness. Neil and Alexis look at each other, and flash back to their night in the hotel. Finn asks what Neil thinks. Side effects of the medication, or should he investigate if these are true confessions?

Britt tells Julian, she knew Neil looked familiar, but now she’s heard his name in context with Alexis. She had a layover in New York City, and went shopping. She stayed at the nicest hotel, and when she was on her way back to her room, she saw a man about to knock on a door. She didn’t think anything of it, but when the door opened, Alexis stepped out. She was about to say hi, when they fell into each other’s arms, and went back into the room. The guy was Dr. Neil Bern.

Lulu asks Dustin if Olivia was right. Was she desperate to punish Brook, and didn’t care who she hurt? Don’t be the supportive boyfriend, but tell her the truth. He asks if he can’t be both. He tells her, she’s caring, passionate, and impulsive, which aren’t bad things. They’re all reasons why he can’t get enough of her. But in her moving on, the hard part is, sometimes her impulses get out of control. She didn’t have to publish Brook’s post. It could have disappeared into the blogosphere, and no one would have been the wiser. She did it to get back at Brook.

Brook says, Ned likes to keep his business dealings private, and so does she. Her phone rings, and she says it’s her new PR guy; she has to run. As she heads to the elevator, on the phone, she says she has good news for him; he’s going to love it. Olivia asks Ned why every time she sees his daughter smiling, she knows all hell is about to break loose?

Trina tells Cameron, she and her mother have established some ground rules. They made them together. Her mom will give her space as long as Trina doesn’t scare her with radio silence. He says, sounds like a plan, and she says she knows his mom has rules; what about Franco? He says, Franco isn’t big on rules. Trina gets a text from Josslyn, and says she was supposed to text yesterday, and forgot. He asks what Josslyn said about… The last time they were all together, trying to study Shakespeare, Trina left. He knows why she left, but Josslyn didn’t. Unless… Trina didn’t tell her that they kissed, did she?

Portia doesn’t get why Curtis cares so much what went on between her and Taggert. Why is it important? There’s a knock at the door, and Jordan pops in. She says she’s sorry. She didn’t know Curtis would still be there. Portia says Curtis was just asking if she and Taggert talked about his work. Curtis says he was wondering about the Cyrus investigation, and Portia says she told him that Taggert really didn’t talk about his work at home. Jordan says, good. The less Portia and Trina have to do with Cyrus, the better. Portia says, it’s a little late for that. Her daughter was already kidnapped, and her father was shot in front of her. Jordan says she’s sorry. She’s afraid she has more bad news. Portia says, it’s not Trina, is it? but Jordan says, no. Trina is fine as far as she knows. She just met with a detective from Internal Affairs, and he’s asked the Justice Department to open an investigation involving Taggert’s handling of the case against Cyrus.

Alexis tells Finn, from a legal standpoint, policies would have to be investigated. Neil says he’ll work on whether it’s delusion or medication. Finn thanks them both, saying he appreciates it. He asks Alexis, lunch tomorrow? and she says, coffee. He says, sounds good, and leaves. Alexis walks into the office, and Neil closes the door. He says he knows it’s none of his business, but Finn seemed concerned about her. She says it was a post AA meeting; a double-checking thing. Neil says, he’s concerned, but she says she’s fine. Really. He says, every time a patient feels compelled to use the word really, it makes him concerned. She says she’s not a patient anymore, and he says, as one friend to another, can he help?

Julian tells Britt, Alexis’s therapist took advantage of her, but Britt says, Alexis is a grown woman, and as far as she could tell, wanted it as much as Neil did. Julian says, there are rules against that, and she says, it’s ironic that Julian has rules. He says, if Neil is ignoring that, he’ll have to remind him. He’s heading over to GH now. She says, to do what? Ride Neil? She doesn’t think that’s a good idea. Alexis can take care of herself. He says, if she wants to worry about someone, worry about Neil. She says, all she wants to know is if he’s giving her a ride, or does she have to call Ride Share? He says, let’s go, and they leave.

Dustin says, too much honesty? but Lulu says, no; he’s right. So was Olivia. She was acting out, but Brook goes out of her way to be antagonistic, and she wanted to get back at her. She’s a bad person. He says, she’s a wonderful person, but she says, with so many flaws. He says, perfection is overrated.

On the phone, Brook tells her PR guy, if they ask about the big blow up, say no comment, and move on. The less said about it, the quicker it will blow over. She’ll be posting behind-the-scenes footage of her new material. Lulu approaches, and says she knows Brook heard her. Brook says, she’s ignoring Lulu. Take the hint. Lulu asks Brook to hear her out.

Trina says, Josslyn has no idea she and Cameron kissed, and he says, thank God. It would make things awkward. She says, a little bit, and he asks what she ended up telling Josslyn. She says she told Josslyn things were weird because of what happened to her dad, which is actually true. They were all traumatized, and none of them is thinking clearly. Josslyn understood completely. He says he’s glad to hear it, and she says she’s got to run. She promised to meet her mom at the hospital. He says he has  to meet his mom too; can he join her? She says, sure. What are friends for? I’m disappointed.

Portia doesn’t understand. She says Cyrus was found guilty, and sent to prison years ago, and Taggert is dead. Why revisit the case? Jordan says the other two members of the team were also killed in the last three months. She questioned the circumstances of their deaths, and searched for why they were singled out. She found proof that they fabricated the evidence that put Cyrus away. Portia says, they falsified evidence? and Jordan says, they were desperate for a conviction, and Cyrus was too good at not getting caught. She’s sure they felt it meant saving lives. Portia says, that could explain a lot about what happened in the marriage. With Taggert, everything was black and white; there were no grey areas. If he violated his own code, it would have eaten him up inside. I note that Jordan has officially replaced Jason in making the best worried face ever.

Laura thanks someone on the phone, and says she’ll be in touch. She tells Mac, it’s true. The DOJ is doing an investigation. They’ve ordered a complete review of the evidence that put Cyrus in prison. Apparently, Taggert worked with the other two agents to plant evidence against him. Mac says, no. He worked with Taggert for years, and Taggert never bent the law. He had a deep loathing for any officer who did. Laura says, if Jordan thinks there’s a possibility he crossed the line, they have to take it seriously.

Portia says, Taggert and his colleagues were killed for putting Cyrus in prison. What about Jordan? Where does she factor in? Curtis says, Jordan worked inside to gain Cyrus’s confidence. Portia says, so she was working independently of the team? and he says, right. Portia says, Taggert didn’t tell her; they left her out? He says, that’s right. Jordan knew nothing about it.

Olivia wonders how Brook got out of her contract, and Ned says she wouldn’t tell him, and he didn’t push her. He had the feeling no amount of pressure would make her talk. Maybe grandfather had the right idea about tough love. Olivia says that would let him off the hook. Now he doesn’t have to feel guilty about firing her.

Brook sits with Lulu and says, make it quick; she has a meeting with Lucy. Lulu says she didn’t know Brook was interested in real estate, and Brook says she’s not. Lulu says, skin care and cosmetics? Brook says, no. Her career is back on track. She’s launching her rebrand at this year’s Nurses ball. Dustin says, congratulations, and Lulu says, absolutely. She tells Brook, she’s not sorry she did her job as a journalist, but she could have contacted ELQ first, and given them a chance address the pharmaceutical branch that was closing. And it was wrong of her to spray Brook with champagne. So, are they good?

In the elevator, Britt tells Julian, take a deep breath, and do some quick elevator meditation. Don’t do anything he regrets.

Neil tells Alexis, there’s no rule that says she can’t turn to him for help. Alexis says, when she considers that, alarm bells go off inside her head. Neil says she called him last night, but she says, it was a mistake. She wasn’t in an appropriate state to see him. He asks, what state would that be? She shows him her one-day chip. Julian and Britt look through the window.

Mac tells Laura, there has to be more to the story, and she says, maybe there is, but she doesn’t know why Jordan wouldn’t have shared that. Mac says, she took the investigation at face value, but she knew Taggert better than anyone. Why would she have gone straight to IA? Laura says, maybe she couldn’t believe Taggert did something illegal. Mac asks if they just sit back and watch it play out, but she says, no. If something else is going on, she wants him find it.

Jordan tells Portia, she had no idea when Cyrus was originally tried that evidence was planted. Portia says, it’s not going to stay quiet for long. She has to find Trina and tell her what’s going on. Trina knocks on the door, and Portia says, better now than later. She opens the door to Trina and Cameron, and Trina asks, what’s going on? Why are they here?

Ned tells Olivia, Brook is his daughter. From the moment she was born, he started to feel guilty. She says, he had to fire Brook; he had no choice. The mess Brook brought back, she did by her lonesome. He says if Brook is back on track, he won’t feel so guilty, but she says if Brook isn’t willing to tell him exactly how it happened, she has some scheme or epic machination that’s going to blow up in everyone’s face.

Brook accepts Lulu’s apology, and they shake hands. Brook says she wants something in return, and Lulu says, name it. Brook says, Lulu’s boyfriend.

Alexis tells Neil, it’s the first day of her new life. She shows him her chip, and he takes her hand. He says he’s proud of her. Julian busts into the room, and grabs Neil, throwing him up against the wall. Alexis asks what Julian is doing.

Tomorrow, Valentin says Brook’s ELQ shares are officially his, Trina tells Portia not to believe Jordan’s lies, and Carly asks Brando when the other shoe is going to drop.

Vanderpump Rules

Ariana meets Lisa for riding. Lisa says she taught Prince to talk, and Ariana says she’s ready for this. Lisa calls Tardon, parlay! and Prince whinnies.

Katie visits Stassi, who’s on the couch, wearing a sleep mask. They have wine and burgers, and Stassi says, it’s just what she needed. The hangover struggle is real.

James makes bacon, and tells Raquel that he had the weirdest dream. Lala was in it. Raquel asks, why? and he says, because he was having an annoying night. We flash back to Tom’s birthday, and Raquel relaying to James that Logan had said he was at a party where people were getting effed up. Raquel says she has to ask; was James drinking at that party? He says, no. If he had, it would be a serious problem. He swears he hasn’t had a drank in six days, In his interview, he says he used to think if bad things happened, it was a good reason to drink, but hit doesn’t solve anything. He’s happy he didn’t.

Lisa tells Ariana that James quit drinking, and he’s getting help. Ariana says, it’s like déjà vu or Groundhog Day, but Lisa says she thinks the difference is that Raquel put her foot down. Ariana says you never know when James is going to snap, and Lisa says it’s when he has his first drink, but she thinks the tide has changed.

James tells Raquel that he’s been talking to Lisa every day.

Stassi can’t believe Katie is having a girls wine night party, but Kristen isn’t invited. Katie says, it’s happening. She’s met some new people, but hasn’t gotten to know them, so she’s invited Dayna, Danica, and Charli. She also can’t not invite Raquel if she’s invited the others. In Stassi’s interview, she says Katie has invited every single girl in West Hollywood, and Kristen is going to be pissed. Katie tells Stassi, if Kristen is going to act like that, she’s not inviting her.

Lisa says, when it gets to be too much, she goes to the stable. Ariana complains that her horse has a small wiener, and it’s embarrassing.

In his interview, Jax says he swore he’d never be at SUR when he turned 40, and at 40, he’s still there. Tom comes in, hungover and struggling. Jax suggests the hair of the dog. Raquel sees Scheana outside in the back, and Scheana says Raquel looked cute at Tom’s party. Raquel says Scheana looked hot, and Scheana says she had fun with her whip. Katie calls Raquel, and invites her to wine night tomorrow with the ladies. Raquel says she’d love to. In Raquel’s interview, she says, Katie has never been intentionally mean to her, but she’s never gone out of her way to be kind either. Scheana wonders how it’s going to be with Lala, and tells Raquel that she’ll have friends there. She can mediate if need be.

Brett has invited Scheana to make a YouTube video with him. In his interview, he says he does personal training, and has been successful on YouTube by being his authentic self. A lot of women follow him. He tells Scheana that he thinks women will identify with her, and what she’s been through as a young divorcee. He trusts her and she’s a friend. Scheana thinks they’ll become better friends, because this woman cannot take no for an answer. He thinks she’s awesome, but says he’d never want to hurt her by making her think there’s something that’s not there. He looks at her like a guy friend. Scheana, who only hears what she wants to, says, who knows; maybe one day. In Brett’s interview, he says he loves her as a person, but has no intention of taking he home. Scheana suggests they see where the world takes them.

Schwartz goes to Tom’s place, where Max has arrived ahead of him. In Tom’s interview, he says, people give him a hard time about not having furniture, but they have a couch and a credenza. They’re good. Tom says, it’s Jax’s birthday, and Brittany is taking him out to lunch. Now that they have houses, it’s open to the possibility of TP’ing them. Schwartz says, talking about it ruins it; it has to be spontaneous. In Schwartz’s interview, he says he’s all for a good prank, but because of the dynamic between Tom and Jax, he doesn’t know if they’re in a good enough place for that. Schwartz says he can’t do it today, as Tom pours beer in a funnel. He doesn’t mind pissing Jax off, but not on his birthday. Tom wants Schwartz to funnel beer, and Schwartz asks, what for? Tom says, for Jax, and Schwartz says, Jax isn’t here. Tom points to his heart, and says, Jax is here. In Max’s interview, he says Tom wants to beer bong and TP a house in the afternoon, but he has to go to work. He doesn’t think it’s the best idea. They sit by the pool, and Tom brings out shots. They toast to Jax’s birthday. Schwartz thinks instead of pranking Jax, they should lift him up, and show how much they love him. Tom says he’ll be back in fifteen, and Schwartz says, what if it rains? Tom and Max leave, but Schwartz stays behind. He can’t, he won’t, and he’s not doing it.

Tom and Max TP Jax’s house, and Tom says, it feels good. In Max’s interview, he thinks Tom is releasing some frustration against Jax; he’s fired up. The leave OLD FART in toilet paper letters on the street in front of the house. Jax and Brittany come home to trees laden with toilet paper, and Jax says, WTF? Are you effing kidding me? Who does that? Brittany says, what the hell is this? Jax sees the message, and says, these a-holes. This is going to suck. In Jax’s interview, he says, it’s not that funny. He knows one of his friends did it, but doesn’t know which one.

Jax starts making calls. Tom says he didn’t have anything to do with it, and claims they got him too, and shows Jax his front yard with a few streams of toilet paper hanging from a tree. In Toms’ interview, he says, there are three things you need to get away with a prank. Confidence, an alibi with plausible details – Jax says it doesn’t look like as much in Tom’s yard, and Tom says they must have hit Jax’s house first –  and a couple of gullible friends. Brittany says Schwartz swears he didn’t do it. Jax says he knows Beau did it. Brittany shows Stassi the yard, and Stassi says, it’s so insane. In his interview, Jax says he’s going to find how who did this, and get them back.

Scheana tells Brett she went home with some guy from Tom’s party, but not the one she came with. She’s excited to be YouTube’ing with him. He sets up the camera, and says he’s there with a good friend; a homie. He introduces Scheana, and says she’s 34, and looks great. She highly recommends Botox. He says, she’s a middle-aged woman, and in her interview, Scheana wonders in what world she’s considered middle-aged. I too, am wondering. Brett says she’s been married and divorced, and she’s freezing her eggs, because right now, she’s not trying to have a baby. She says she’s not getting in another relationship or getting married unless the guy blows her mind. She’s been dating f***boys, and it’s fun. Brett says, you attract the energy you put out, and asks if she’s a f***girl. In Scheana’s interview, she wonders why she’s doing this interview. He stops filming, and she says she can be happy, single, and getting laid, or fat desperate and looking for love. I guess there’s no in-between? She says she doesn’t want a relationship. He calls her middle-aged again, and she says he keeps aging her. He clearly doesn’t know the definition because she has at least another ten to fifteen years. I get the feeling Brett isn’t the brightest bulb in the box, which is saying a lot since Scheana is no Einstein either.

Lisa explains to her housekeeper that she’s going to her mother’s funeral, staying one more day, and then coming back. In Lisa’s interview, she says the funeral was delayed, and it’s been overwhelming. Puffy! She tells Puffy not to be nervous. She’s going to call her other rescue boy, and see how he’s doing.

James asks Raquel what she’s going to say at the wine party when Lala comes at her. It’s going to be a feeding frenzy. Lisa calls, and asks if he’s doing okay, and he says he’s doing really well. He has a meeting tonight. She says she’s going out to London tomorrow, and just because she’s on the other side of the world, doesn’t mean she won’t know what’s going on. He says he’s taking it seriously. In her interview, Lisa says she doesn’t need another child, but James’s vulnerability tugs at her heartstrings. She’s invested a little in helping to get him there, and he’s going to do it. I want her to adopt me.

Katie makes charcuterie boards for the party. Stassi says, a lot of people are coming; Kristen is going to sh*t her pants. Katie says, life goes on without her, and Stassi says she understands Katie’s logic, but Kristen won’t.

Scheana can’t wait to call Kristen, and give her the news. Kristen says she’s prepping for Jax’s birthday party, and Scheana whines that Brett called her middle-aged. She tells Kristen that she’s heading over to Katie’s for girls wine night. Kristen says, that’s precious. Katie is her wine partner, and not inviting her. Scheana says, Katie has literally invited all of SUR. I forgot to mention, literally is literally every other word with this group, and I’m literally tired of it. If it was a drinking game, we’d be smashed in the first ten minutes of the show. Kristen asks if Lisa is going to be there, and Scheana says Lisa is in London for her mother’s funeral, but maybe she was invited. In Kristen’s interview, she feels like this is bullsh*t. Katie wants crazy Kristen, so she can justify it. She tells her dogs that they’re her two best friends. Which I actually (literally?) don’t think is a bad thing.

The girls start arriving. In her interview, Dayna says she grew up on Mad Dog 2020, and vodka from a box (is that a thing?), so she’ll drink whatever’s there. Scheana says she came in her pajamas; it’s been a long day. She did a YouTube video with Brett, and he called her middle-aged. Stassi says, he’s only two years younger than Scheana. They toast to girls night.

At TomTom, Max tells Tom, everything is good. Jax arrives, and says, the party’s here.

Brittany tells the girls that they’re having Jax’s birthday party at Rocco’s. It’s going to be an 80s theme.

Tom gives Jax a paper shopping bag. Jax takes out some toilet paper. In his interview, he says, if Tom wants to surprise him, show up with a fifth of vodka. There will be consequences.

Brittany wonders who TP’d the house. Jax thinks it’s Beau and Stassi. Stassi thinks it’s Tom, but Ariana says someone came to her house too. Brittany is still friends with Kristen, and asks if they’re still going to be able to hang out. Katie says they still have a wine inventory, but the friendship is off. Lala talks to Scheana on the porch, and says Raquel should feel lucky to be graced with her presence. In Lala’s interview, she wants Raquel to stay in her lane, and let people like her run sh*t. Lala goes inside, and says she wants to have a real talk with Raquel. Because a party is definitely the place to do that. She says she pulled Raquel aside because she as genuinely concerned about James, and wanted to make sure he was okay. Raquel says Lala turned it into an ugly thing, and focused on Logan. Lala says she was speaking; let her finish. Raquel forgot her place, but Lala will steer her back. Raquel says, Logan is obsessed with James. In her interview, she says, this is raw Lala. Lala sees her as vulnerable, and preys on it. If they can’t all agree Lala is a bully, they can agree she’s a bitch. Lala says she set up James with studio sessions, and wouldn’t say anything if she didn’t care. In Charli’s interview, she thinks maybe Lala still likes James, but you can secretly still like someone and secretly hate their girlfriend. I don’t see Lala as still being interested in James that way, but okay. Raquel says, James didn’t drink, and Lala says she’s missing the point, and ran off after she told Lala STFU. At her worst, Raquel is like a yapping chihuahua. Raquel says, Lala is a Rottweiler, and Lala says, no; she’s a Pitbull. Brittany says, they’re scaring her, and Stassi laughs. Lala tells Stassi, stay in her bubble. In Stassi’s interview, she says Lala is her girl, but right now, she has no leg to stand on. Lala says, don’t project on her what they want her to reflect. Huh?

In the car, Raquel tells James that she’s tired; it was a lot of wine. It was awkward. She and Lala argued, and everyone else was quiet. It’s been a week. James says it was weird before the meeting; he felt overwhelmed. He hasn’t shared yet. In his interview, he says he wasn’t sure what to expect, but he’s in a room full of cool people who have realized alcohol isn’t a cool solution to problems. Raquel drives him to a meeting.

Everyone gathers for Jax’s birthday party. Brittany thinks it’s weird how Jax wanted a theme, but he’s not willing to dress up for anyone else’s. Jax comes in looking like a poor man’s Brett Michaels. In his interview, he says he’s a huge 80s buff; it’s his decade. He would have dressed like this anyway. Tom gives Jax a gift, and it’s a samurai sword signed by Randy Jackson. In Tom’s interview, he says when he, Schwartz, and Jax lived together, they watched Step Brothers all the time, and the Will Ferrell character has a samurai sword signed by Randy Jackson. He called Randy’s assistant and had it signed. A producer asks what Jax got Tom for his birthday, and he says, um… He doesn’t think Jax got him anything. Schwartz gives Jax a fake, very lifelike, female foot. In his interview, Schwartz says, Jax likes dirty, filthy, stinky feet. He’s worried there’s a paper trail leading to him buying the foot, and he’s now on a list. Jax tells Brittany that she’s been replaced. Brittany tells Kristen, it was weird with her not being at wine night. It was fun, but crazy. In Kristen’s interview, she says Stassi and Katie were her L.A. family, and she doesn’t understand how you can cut family out. The point is that you stick together no matter what. She tells Brittany, they don’t want anything to do with her. Brittany says she sees both sides, but Kristen doesn’t know what their side is. She’s said things she didn’t mean and apologized, but she thinks they say things they mean.

Raquel waits for James after the meeting. When he gets in the car, he tells her that he shared for the first time. Raquel says, that’s amazing, and in James’s interview, he says his persona is DJ James, the life of the party. It’s been seven years of non-stop partying. Being vulnerable is difficult for him, and it’s going to be a day by day thing. He tells Raquel he was nervous. He felt like she did back in the day, giving a speech to her college class. He’s blessed to have figured it out now.

Randall tells Jax that when you’re in the 40 club with him, it’s not about TP’ing a house. He’s a prank specialist, and tonight a prank cop car is going to be pulling up at Tom’s house and arresting him for vandalism. They’re going to cuff him, put him in the car, then they’ll jump out and say it’s a prank. Lala tells Jax his birthday gift is happening tonight. In her interview, she says, Randall is a prankster specialist. He’s done over 100 films, and pulled a prank on all of them. It’s always epic. Randall says, no one can know.

At Tom’s house, Ariana says she rented a table and chairs. She thinks she might want to stick with rented furniture, since she doesn’t trust anyone not to eff up her house, including Tom. The guests arrive, and she says, RIP her house. Jax brings his own chair, since he won’t sit on the cushions. They have cat hair on them, and he hates cat hair. He yells for music, when two cops come in, and ask to talk to Tom. They pat Tom down, and Jax acts shocked. The cops take Tom outside, and in Jax’s interview, he says they’re genius actors, and look like real cops. For a second, Jax thought he was in trouble. One of the cops asks what Tom knows about a vandalism report, but Tom says he didn’t do anything. The guests move outside, and Schwartz is sure it has to do with parking tickets. The cops tell them to stand back, and put Tom in the car. Ariana asks what it’s about, and one of the cops tells her, it’s about vandalism. Jax insists he didn’t say anything, but one of his neighbors may have. In his interview, Jax says, this is how you do a prank when you’re an adult. Tom will never be number one. He tells Ariana, he didn’t call anyone; it wasn’t him. Randall goes over to the car, and tells Tom, here’s the thing. When you f*** with Jax on his birthday, you f*** with them. Lala says he got them all, and they dance around and high-five each other. Ariana says her heart is beating out of her chest.

Jax thanks the actors, and Katie says she hates them all. Scheana tells Tom that he’s really sweating. In Katie’s interview, she says she doesn’t think it’s funny. Just turn on the news. She asks if she’s the only one who thinks it’s not funny, and Jax says, Tom’s not mad, and that’s all that matters. In Tom’s interview, he says it was one of the best pranks ever, and he’s honored to have it pulled on him. Ariana says she understands where Katie is coming from. In Ariana’s interview, she says some people have a different perspective than others when it comes to their relationship with the police. Joking around like that is in poor taste. Tom says, it’s not a big deal. Katie says they can’t expect no one to react, and Schwartz tells her to shut up. She says she doesn’t think it’s funny, but Schwartz says it was a great moment. They’re laughing, and no one gives a sh*t about her opinion. Tom tells him not to talk to his wife that way.

Katie wonders if she’s the only person who associates this with something really terrible, and Ariana says she gets where Katie is coming from. Schwartz says he’s never been more turned off in his life. This is why he doesn’t have sex with her. Beau says, don’t do this, and Schwartz says he’s not looking for Beau to agree with him; she’s a moron. In Beau’s interview, he says, it’s one thing to have a drunken argument with your significant other – he’s experienced that – but the way Schwarz is talking is venom. In Katie’s interview, she says, the last time Schwartz spoke to her like that was in Mexico. We flash back to Schwartz saying her voice is a cacophony. She says, the only difference is, this time he’s being mean and degrading in front of all their friends. Schwartz walks out, calling Katie an idiot, and Tom says Schwartz is being an a-hole. Schwartz tells Katie, let’s go, but she says she’s not going with him.

Next time, Beau tells Stassi that he’s doing everything on his time, Schwartz says things are still tense, and Brett wants to hang out with Dayna.

If Loving You Is Wrong

Ian asks if there’s any chance Alex had his baby. Talk to him. She says, no, and he says he’s not judging. She says, goodbye, and starts to walk, but he calls her back. She says she doesn’t want to talk about this, and tries to go into her house, but the door is locked. She says she left her keys, but he says he has them. She asks what the hell is wrong with him? and he says she left them on the grass. She says she doesn’t want to wake her kids up; give her the keys. He says he wants answers. Can the baby be his? She says, that’s impossible; they never slept together. He asks if she really wants to do this. He knows a lawyer. Don’t make him go that route and request a DNA test. She asks why he’d do that, and he says he wants answers; that’s all. She asks if he’d really get a court order, and he says, if he has a child out there, he would. She says, no way the baby is his, and he asks how she knows. She says they only had sex once.

He says she’s admitting it, but she says she doesn’t want to talk there. He suggests they go in her house, but she says, no. She’d rather go to his. They go inside, and it’s not unlike Tom’s house on Vanderpump Rules, since he has no furniture yet. He says, so? She says, it was her, and he thanks her for being honest. She says the baby’s not his, and he says, he gets it. He doesn’t want it to be either, but they should know. Alex says she doesn’t need this now, and Ian says, him neither. He asks if she wants a drink, and she says she does. He brings out a box, and says he wants her to promise first that she’ll talk. She starts to cry, and he asks if she’s okay. She cries harder, and tells him, just find the alcohol. She doesn’t care what it is at this point.

Natalie feels bad, but Lushion says, Alex made her bed; it’s done. He looks out the window, and says, what the hell? Someone is over at Kelly’s. He’s going to check, and she tells him, be careful. He tells her to stay there, and goes outside. He sees a man holding a paper bag, and looking in Kelly’s front window. He draws his gun. He tells the guy, put his hands up and put the bag down. The guy says he lives there, but Lushion says he doesn’t. He says he’s just moving in, and Lushion says, somebody else lives there. What’s his name? The guy says, Durrell; he’s Justice’s father. Lushion asks if he’s got ID, and Durrell says it’s in his back pocket. Lushion says, slowly, and Durrell holds out his wallet. Lushion looks at the ID, and puts away his gun. He asks why Durrell is snooping around, and Durrell says his mother told him that Kelly left the key; he knows the alarm code. Lushion asks if Justice can ID him, but he says Justice doesn’t really know him. Lushion tells him, hands behind his back. Keep it easy, and they’ll clear this up. Lushion cuffs him, and says, relax; take a seat. Durrell sits on the curb, and Lushion calls Natalie, asking her to come out. He meets her halfway, and she asks, what’s going on? He says the guy says he’s Justice’s father. Does she know him? She says, no, but he looks like Justice. Lushion says, he just got out of jail, and she asks how he knows. Lushion says, slippers and a paper bag. She says Kelly did tell her that he was in jail, but Justice doesn’t know him. He asks if Kelly said anything about leaving a key, and she says Kelly did say she was worried and told him he could move in. Maybe it is him. Lushion tells her, stay there. He asks Durrell if he’s got proof he knows Kelly, and Durrell says there are pictures in his wallet. Lushion looks at them, and says, that’s a long time ago. Durrell says he’s been away a while, and Lushion unlocks the cuffs. He asks if Durrell was in jail. Durrell says, yeah, and Lushion says, yes, sounding like Judge Judy. He says he can’t let Durrell in until he finds out it’s okay. Durrell asks where he’s supposed to go tonight; he just got out, and doesn’t have money. Lushion says he can’t let Durrell in until he makes sure he’s supposed to stay there. In a couple hours it will be daylight, and he can come back. If Kelly says it’s okay, he’ll let Durrell in. If Durrell was Lushion, he’d do the same thing. Durrell picks up his bag, and says, all right. He strolls off, and Natalie says, Lushion isn’t letting him in? Lushion says he thought she was from the hood. She says she is, but she thinks it’s him. Lushion says, Kelly has been through enough. One night at a bus station won’t kill him. She says, that’s cold. She feels bad, but Lushion says he doesn’t.

Ian says Alex doesn’t want another, does she? She says she does, and he says, it’s strong, but she says she doesn’t care. He thinks she needs to lay off the liquor, but she thinks he needs to stop telling her what to do. He says she’s drunk, and she says he’s not drunk, and pours more into his glass. He says, fair enough, and they clink glasses. She says she remembered him the moment she saw him, but was hoping he wouldn’t remember. He asks, why? Because she was married? She says, it’s not that. She hates being a wife (surprising us all), but she’s not a bad person. He tells her, he didn’t say she was, and she says she doesn’t want kids. He says she has three, and she says, because she did everything her father, mother, and Brad wanted her to do. She felt trapped, so every time Brad was at work, and she was supposed to be at a PTA meeting or whatever, she met men like him. He asks, how many? and she says, a lot. Go ahead. Judge all he wants. He says he’s not; it’s fine. She says she never wanted this life. She didn’t want to be married. She wanted to be an actress. He says she’s pretty damn good, and she says she has to be now. Her father told her it was stupid, and she should get married and have babies because she had no talent and no chance. That was after he raped her every night. Ian is shocked, and she says he wanted to talk; let’s talk – about all of it. She pours herself some more, saying, she grew up with a backwoods country-ass way of thinking. Her mother actually said it was okay. He says he’s so sorry, and she says she watched her family nearly murder Black people. They hated that she went to school with them. Ian says maybe she was sleeping with Black men to get back at them, but she says, it has nothing to do with that. She thinks they’re beautiful, and loves how their skin is gorgeous and soft. He says, no more for her, and she says he’s right. No more talking about this bullsh*t; she’s done. He says she’s not doing anything stupid, and she says, why the hell should she deal with this, raising Brad’s kids. He says they’re her kids too, but she says she’s tired of all this sh*t. She’s had enough. She’s going to be free, and go do whatever she wants with whoever she want to do it with. He says when she wakes up sober, she’s going to realize she said too much. She asks why he isn’t drunk, and pours more into his glass. He says he’s buzzed, but she says, not enough; drink. She downs hers, and he moves the empty glass away. He suggests she let him take her home, but she says she doesn’t want to go right now. He says, what about her kids? and she says, they’re fine with the babysitter. He takes her hands, and she pulls him toward the kitchen island. She says, please, she wants this. It was so good; she wants to do it again. She unzips his pants, and gets on her knees. He says, no, but…

Larry gets home, bringing along another guy, and Eddie is waiting. He says, what are you ladies up to? and Larry says Eddie was there ahead of him, and knows when he left. The other guy goes inside, and Eddie asks who this one is. Larry says Eddie isn’t ready for that. Why is he there? Eddie says he wants to talk about some things. Andrew, Joe, and Pete. Larry asks if he’s been drinking, and Eddie says, more than drinking. He did some good blow tonight. Larry says he must be pretty high, and Eddie says he could say that. He saw Larry’s wife leaving; is there a problem? Larry says she goes to the country house on weekends, and he brings home the boys when she’s gone. Eddie thinks it’s sick, twisted sh*t, and Larry says, it is; they love it. Almost as much as they love each other. What does Eddie want? To come in? Eddie says, hell no, and Larry asks why Eddie is wasting his time. Eddie says he’s there to find out about those specific names, and Larry asks what he wants to know. Eddie asks if they’re with the FBI, and Larry says he doesn’t know. Eddie asks if Larry is playing games with him, and Larry says he doesn’t play games. He invites Eddie in again, but Eddie says he’s not into that kinky sh*t. Larry says Eddie is pretty sick too. It was the last reason Eddie was there, and the only reason he’s there now. He gave Eddie the privilege of taking control and making him beg. He respects that. Is Eddie ready to beg? Let him know. Eddie acts mad at the world, but what he wants is to be punished. Let Larry punish him. He’ll make him feel so bad by making him feel good. Eddie says the only reason he’s there is Esperanza and the dudes who came against him. Nothing is going to stop him. Larry says, sounds like fun, and Eddie says, keep pushing him, and see how much fun he is. Larry says he can’t wait, and goes inside.

A nurse whose name I can’t remember, tells Rick to go home. He says he wants to talk to her about Kelly. She’s back in jail, and going through a hard time. She says she’s not helping any more, and don’t tell Kelly to fake chest pains. He asks if she doesn’t talk to Sister Margaret, the chaplain. Did Margaret tell her the names of the girls? She says she’s not talking to him, and starts to walk away, but he grabs her arm. He says, they got her too, but she says she’s not talking. He gives her a piece of paper, and says, it’s Lushion’s phone number. Help them. She says that church is crazy, and they know everyone; the mayor, the garbageman, even her ex=boyfriend. She can’t tell him anything. He says she can’t let Kelly go down, but she says she doesn’t know Kelly, and Kelly shot him. Rick says she doesn’t know what he did to Kelly, and she says not to use her name. He says, fine, coward, and she says, call her whatever he wants. She’s not messing with that church. On second thought, if he takes her out and buys her some drinks, maybe she’ll talk. He tells her, bring her dancing shoes and a nice dress.

Margaret visits Kelly, but Kelly says she doesn’t want to talk to her. Margaret says she wants to say a prayer, and the guard lets her in. Kelly tells her, get away from her cell. The guard leaves, and Kelly calls him back, but he ignores her. Margaret tells Kelly, come sit, but Kelly says she won’t. Margaret says, before the guard comes back, and Kelly sits. She asks what Margaret wants, and Margaret says she’s helping Kelly; praying for her. Kelly laughs, and Margaret hands her a Bible, telling her, read this. It’s her gift to Kelly. Margaret calls to the guard, and Kelly says she knew Margaret didn’t want to pray; hypocrites. Margaret tells her, open the bible, and she does. Kelly flips through it, and takes out several pictures. She looks on the backs of them, and Margaret says, God bless you. Wrong is wrong, and she is praying. Kelly thanks her, and hugs her. Margaret says, she’s going to be all right, and when she is, don’t look back. It’s time for Kelly to get back to church. Get back to praying and believing again. She’s stronger than all this. Stop being sorry for herself and being a victim. Take it by force. The kingdom suffers violence, and the violent take it by force (Matthew 11:12). Kelly says she hears her, and Margaret says, good. God bless her.

Tanya and husband Bennett watch TV. Tanya asks Bennett why he keeps looking out. (Refresher: Bennett trashed Randall’s house at the end of last season.) She says, stop looking at him. He’s looked enough at her already. Bennett says he’ll tell Randall to stop, but she says he’s not going to. She already told him to stop. Bennett says he can make Randall stop, and she asks, how? He says he just will, and she says, like in the last neighborhood? He tore that man’s house apart. He says they were talking about her, and she says he can’t get mad. She gives them enough to talk about. He tells her, don’t worry. Randall won’t bother her again, but she says he’s not the kind that will stop. Bennett says, he will, and she says she’s going to bed. He tells her that he’s staying up a little. He promises Randall won’t bother her. He looks out the window.

Steven and Esperanza cuddle on the couch. He says, it’s her night, and she says, after they watched his movie. He asks if she wants him to stay because of Eddie, or because she wants him to stay. She asks if she looks afraid. He says he’ll stay every night, or he can be out sleeping in his car. She says that would defeat the purpose, and he says he can sleep on the couch. She tells him, read between the lines. She wants him to stay in her bed, naked. He says, as good as it sounds, he doesn’t want her kicking him out in an hour. She says he’s living in the past. She wants to spend time together, and not worry about what happened before. He says, what about her daughter? and she says she’s been thinking about that. The best thing is for her to bring her daughter to her mom’s until this thing with Eddie is over. Does he want drive up there to Columbus? He says they’ve got themselves a road trip, and they kiss. He gets a text, and she makes him give her the phone. She reads, what’s up, stud? and asks who Anna is. He asks if she’s jealous, and she says, a little bit, and deletes Anna’s number because she doesn’t like her name. He says he doesn’t think his sister is going to like that. She wants him to call his sister, and he says, no. He’s sleepy, and they’re not exclusive. They’re just enjoying each other very much. They get busy.

Randall calls Marcie, who answers, yes? He asks if that’s all she’s got to say. She destroyed his house. She asks what he’s talking about, and he asks if she got Brad to do it. She says she doesn’t know what he’s talking about. She only picked up because she likes to taunt him. He says she did more than that, and she says he’s talking crazy. He tells her, don’t hang up, but she says, bye. A car parks in front of Randall, and Brad gets out and goes inside.

Brad asks if Marcie is okay. She says she is, but Randall keeps calling. He asks why she keeps answering, and she says she likes to taunt him. He says she shouldn’t do that. He asks if Randall has been there, and she says, no; why would he be? Brad says, someone destroyed Randall’s house, but she says she doesn’t know what happened. He tells her that Alex signed the divorce papers. That means he can officially pursue her. He kisses her, and she says she hasn’t seen his full court press. She tells him, she’s starving, and he says he’ll make something. He gets up, but his phone rings. He says it’s Chelsea, his babysitter, and he asks, what’s going on? Chelsea says his wife was supposed to be back hours ago, and she has to leave. She tried calling, but Alex isn’t answering. He asks if the kids and baby are asleep, and she tells him they are. He says he’ll be right over. He tells Marcie that Alex still isn’t home, and she says Alex is probably trying to trick him, but he says she knows better than that. She asks if he’s going, and he says he has to. Otherwise, the kids will be there by themselves. She tells him to try Alex again, but he gets voicemail, and hangs up. Marcie tells him to try from the landline, but he still gets voicemail. Marcie calls and leaves a message that Alex’s kids are looking for her. Where the hell are you, bitch? Brad says, she’s not helping, and Marcie thinks Alex knows they’re together. He tells her to relax; it’s about his kids. She apologizes for making it about her, and he leaves. She says, bitch.

Randall sees Brad leave. Marcie says she hopes the bitch is dead, and calls Alex. She says Alex thinks she’s going to win this thing by dragging Brad out in the middle of the night, but it’s not going to work, ho. She hangs up, but decides to fill up Alex’s damn voicemail. Randall watches as Brad pulls away. He gets out of the car, and goes in the side door. He knocks, and Marcie asks if Brad forgot his key. Randall busts in, and grabs Marcie.

Next time, Esperanza finds Eddie in bed with her and Steven; Kelly tells Lushion the Bible had pictures of women and information on settlements in it; and Lushion and Brad go to Ian’s house looking for Alex.

😥 Sniff…

It looks like this will be the final season of If Loving You is Wrong. After we waited a year. It’s like Game of Thrones all over again.


🏥 Scheduling Details…

The skinny on how GH is handling this new normal.


🧼 On a High…

More than one kind of soap seems to be popular these days.


📯 FYI, Andy Cohen is apparently none the worse for the wear, and back at work, doing Watch What Happens Live from his home office.

😴 Good Thing I Don’t Need Sleep…

Oh, wait… Stay safe out there.