What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
As Riff Raff said in Rocky Horror, a decision had to be made. Once Upon a Time had a two-hour episode tonight, overlapping Z Nation, which is not being shown again tonight. Z Nation, I choose you, especially after the disappointment that was Walking Dead last week. If it’s possible, I’ll do an extra blog using On Demand tomorrow.
Curtis is at the gym, using the punching bag. Andrew comes in, and thanks him for taking the case. He asks if Curtis found evidence that he’s Jason Morgan. If this dude isn’t Andrew, there are a few of us who will be embarrassed. Carly, Sonny, me…
Elizabeth, Franco, and Jake get ready for movie night. Jake goes upstairs. Franco asks if Jake picking a movie about twins is an eerie coincidence. Elizabeth says he doesn’t know about it, but thinks they should tell him what’s going on. Franco says that’s the last thing they need to do.
Kiki is studying in the gallery when Ava comes in. She asks if Ava wants to talk about her passing along the flash drive. Ava says it was a wonderful gesture, but turned out to be disappointing. Griff told her no doctor would risk performing the surgery. Kiki is sorry didn’t work out, but also glad.
Nathan and Maxie walk in as Maxie is telling Chet that Amy is really Ask Man Landers. His sister loves him so much, she did it to get him the care he needs. Nathan tries to cover, saying that’s not what Maxie meant, but Amy says it’s true. She’s Ask Man Landers.
Nina visits Sam to discuss the Crimson budget. She tells Nina that Jason isn’t there. Nina asks her if she’s not co-owner with Jason, or whoever he is.
Jason sees Robin on the footbridge. She says she knew he’d be here.
Franco tells Elizabeth it’s confusing enough for him; he can’t imagine what it would be like for Jake. Elizabeth asks, what if someone else tells him, or he sees the man again? Franco thinks it’s Jason’s news to share, but whatever she decides, he backs her up. She says he has a good point. She’ll talk to Jason (or whoever he is). The doorbell rings. Franco answers, and I wonder why Elizabeth no longer answers the door. He assumes it’s a process server, but it’s a package. He brings it inside, and it’s the painting of the brothers. Elizabeth asks who it was, and Franco tells her, karma. Geez, it wasn’t even in a crate. It just had a piece of cloth wrapped around it, not even tied.
Nina tells Sam that if Jason isn’t Jason, the company could be in flux. Sam tells her it’s none of her business, but she says it kind of is, since it puts the sale in question. Sam is sure it will be fine. Nina says she feels bad for the other one. If he is Jason and his story is correct, she understands what it’s like to wake up and find out that everyone has moved on. At least she didn’t have to fight for her own identity. Sam says he’s not the only one it’s hard for.
Jason tells Robin that Sonny told him she was alive, but he couldn’t believe it. It’s good to see her. Robin says Sonny said he had his old face, but seeing him… He knows it’s a shock, but everything will be okay. She says it makes no sense. How can this be? He says because it is it’s him, Jason. She knows that, right?
Amy explains to Chet about how she started the blog. She called it Ask Man Landers in honor of him. He always gave her the best advice, and teased her, saying he was Man Landers. When she gave advice, she would think of what he would say, and have the right answer. Telling him isn’t hard, but telling him why is. He’s her hero. Everything she is, is because of him. He’s brave, strong, courageous, and smart, and she watched him and learned. When the blog turned into a book deal, she used the advance to pay for his treatment. She lied about the VA because she knew he was too proud to let her help him. After everything he did for everyone else, and serving his country, she wanted to be his hero, even if he never knew it.
Nina tells Sam, sorry, she didn’t mean to upset her. Sam says it’s okay, but she needs to be alone. Nina thinks that’s the last thing she needs. Sam says they’re not friends. Nina is an employee, and she wants to keep it professional. Nina says years ago, when they were fighting over Silas, she didn’t think they’d ever be working together, but here they are. She says people change and move on, and doesn’t think either of them are who they were years ago. She thinks Sam might be resistant because the guy who came back is really Jason.
Robin doesn’t know what to think. She knows Sonny believes in his core that he’s Jason, and she sees someone who looks like him. Jason says the last thing he remembers is being shot in the back. The next thing he knew, he was in a Russian clinic, where it took him six months to escape. Robin tells him about how the guy she’s known as Jason took her place in an elevator rigged with a bomb. He has Jason’s heart and spirit; who else could he be? Jason says, he’s his brother; his twin.
Curtis tells Andrew that Betsy’s trail went cold. He wants to sit tight, and maybe he’ll get a hit on her credit cards or bank account. Heather isn’t talking – literally. She took a vow of silence to repent or something. He tells Andrew, that girl cray. Andrew needs answers, and Curtis says he’ll keep digging, and maybe find them in a new direction. Andrew says he might have one – Andre.
A note with the painting says that Andre thought he’d return this, and Franco knows the right thing to do. Elizabeth asks what he meant, and Franco tells her that he has no idea. In his last session, Andre had told him to move on from his past, so that’s what he’s going to. She hopes he’s not going to destroy it, but he says he’s not. He says to tell Jake to save him some popcorn. He’ll be back.
Chet asks how Nathan got involved, and Amy says her readers wanted to know what she looked like. She stole a picture of Nathan, and when he found out, he made her take it down. When the book deal happened, the publisher wanted to meet Man Landers, so he became the face of the brand. He’s a cop, and technically committed fraud. Chet asks why they did all this for him, and Amy says because she asked them. Nathan says he made a huge sacrifice in serving his country. Amy says he probably hates all this, but hopes he doesn’t hate her. Chet hugs her.
Franco brings the painting to the gallery. Kiki thought that Andre bought it, and Franco tells her that he regifted it. Now he wants Ava to sell it, and use the proceeds for Kiki’s education. Kiki thanks him, and Ava asks her to put the painting in the storeroom. She asks Franco what’s up with the late night delivery? He says the last think Elizabeth needs is a reminder of his dark past. Ava says, out of sight, but not out of mind. What’s he going to do about two Jasons nipping at his heels?
Andrew tells Curtis that Andre took off. Curtis finds it hard to believe the epitome of professionalism just left his patients and snuck off without cause. There’s definitely something going on. Andrew is counting on him to find out what. Curtis says he knew squeaky clean wasn’t the real deal. Elizabeth calls Andrew. She needs to see him about Jake.
Jason tells Robin that the cops ran a DNA test, and they both match; they’re identical twins. Robin says maybe he’s the twin. Jason says his twin didn’t stand up there with her all those nights, taking about everything and nothing. He wasn’t here when she made the decision to go on protocol, and didn’t have to say goodbye when she left for Paris. He might have those memories, but there’s no feeling behind it. He tells her all that matters, is that she’s alive and well. Believing in him would be the icing on the cake. She repeats, icing on the cake, and asks if he remembers the night in Montauk when he described what it was like to kiss her. We flash back to when we were all practically in diapers, and him telling her that being with her is enough, kissing her… and she finishes it would be the icing on the cake. He doesn’t know what she means, and she tells him it means better than the best, and he says, that’s it. Back on the footbridge, Jason laughs, and says he didn’t know what she was talking about; better than the best. He tells her it’s true. Her being there is better than the best. She says, omg, it’s you, and hugs him.
Amy apologizes, saying lying by omission is still lying. (Thank you.). Chet tells them it’s been a tough reentry to the world, and Nathan suggests he talk to a group. Chet says that the pain doesn’t go away, but for the first time in a long time, he feels less alone. Amy tells him to look around. He has friends he didn’t know he had. He’ll never be alone again. They hug.
Jordan goes to the gym, and tells Curtis she needs his help on a case. She doesn’t want to leave a paper trail, and a PI can go places cops can’t. This one is personal. She has reason to believe Andre is mixed up in the Jason Morgan case. Curtis asks if she’s saying the Ivy League brother she chose over him is dirty? Fancy that. She asks if he’s going to help her, and he tells her, wait for it… He’s already on it. She’s not the first person today to ask.
Franco tells Ava that everybody needs to shut up about Jason Morgan, and both Jasons need to shut up. She says that one is married to Sam, and thinks he’s concerned the other will make a play for Elizabeth.. He says hypothetically speaking, those concerns would make him paranoid. She thinks those concerns would be valid. They’ve aligned themselves. No matter how hard those they love try to see past their faults, they wonder if they’re good enough. Their loved ones try to pull them into the light, but are afraid they’ll be pulled into the darkness. She says it’s exhausting. It would be easier if they were different, fixed. Franco asks if he should be worried, and Ava says she would be.
Andrew asks Elizabeth if something is wrong, and she says she thinks it’s time to tell Jake about his twin. Andrew thinks Jake has been through enough, but Elizabeth says what if Jake sees him again. He needs to be prepared, and he should hear it from them. Jake comes downstairs, and asks if his dad is watching the movie with them. He says, no, but he and Jake’s mom have something to tell him.
Nina tells Sam that she meant no disrespect, but she recognizes Sam’s brain is on overdrive, and her heart and mind are on disconnect. She’s hurting, and can’t talk to the people closest to her. Maybe she can talk to Nina. She wonders if Sam believes the new guy is Jason, if she’s afraid she won’t be able to fit her husband into her life somehow. Sam says that’s not if. Nina asks what she is afraid of? That she might be in love with two different men?
Robin can’t believe Jason is real and they’re both here. She asks if he remembers when she left for Paris, and talked about the future. She never imagined this. Jason says it usually isn’t what you imagine, but sometimes it’s better. Sonny told him about her little boy. She thinks maybe they could have a playdate with Bella and Scout, and then remembers Scout isn’t his daughter. He tells her whatever happens, Sam has a little girl, and Danny has a little sister. They’re happy, and that’s all that matters.
Chet says he still has a lot to work through, but now he’s not alone. Maxie points out that no one can know. Amy could be sued, and Maxie’s professional reputation could be shot, then corrects herself to include Nathan. Chet says no one will hear it from him; they went above and beyond. Amy says they’ve intruded enough, and says they’ll go to her place. She thanks Nathan for all he’s done, and Maxie for putting up with it. Maxie tells her don’t mention it. Seriously, don’t mention it, not until their out of the woods. Amy and Chet leave, and Nathan tells Maxie that her judgement call was spot on. She says she has to tell him something.
Ava searches for unethical doctors on her laptop, to see if there are any out there who can help her.
Jordan tells Curtis that she has her own agenda, and asks if he can separate the two. He says he’s only interested in finding Andre, and wants to know if she’s okay with it. She says for once they’re on the same side, and he says he’ll probably be sharing the same information. She tells him it came to her attention that Andre was working with the WSB on something called memory mapping. Curtis doesn’t like the way it sounds already, but it would explain why both guys think they’re Jason. Jordan doesn’t know what they’re dealing with or who. Andre was never an open book. She was always uncovering things about him. She thought it was charming, but now thinks she didn’t realize who he was at all.
Sam tells Nina that the man she’s in love with is her husband. They’ve made a great life together. Nina asks what if the other guy turns out to be Jason, and Sam says they’ll still love each other; that’s all that matters. Nina asks if she loves who he is now, or who he used to be?
Jake says he knew it! His dad has a twin brother. Andrew says he didn’t know much about him until now. Jake asks what he’s like, and Andrew says he’s a confused guy who thinks he’s him. Jake asks, how could he? He’s him. Andrew says he’s his dad, but because he looks the way he used to look, some people believe him (like me). Jake asks who, but he says it doesn’t matter. He and his mom know the truth. He’s Jake’s father, and that’s not going to change. Jake says he loves him, and Andrew says he loves Jake too.
Sam tells Nina that she loves her husband, the man she’s committed to. She says she’s also committed to the business, and Nina takes that as her cue to leave. She says they can discuss the budget another day. In the hallway, Nina’s phone rings. She looks at it, and says, oh no.
Maxie tells Nathan she has unexpected good news, she hopes. He’s up for that, but her phone rings. She looks at it, and says, omg. It’s an alert from The Invader. They just broke a story that he’s not Ask Man Landers. She shows him the article with his and Amy’s pictures.
Ava reads a Crimson article about unconventional cosmetic procedures. She notes the doctor’s name – Gregory Zajack. Kiki comes back, and asks what she’s working on. She tells Kiki that she’s just doing inventory. She has new work for a new exhibit. She thinks everyone will be happy when it debuts.
Sam looks at her (latest) wedding photo. She flashes back to a few days ago, when she was telling Jason it’s the kind of love that just is; you can’t stop feeling it, can’t deny it, can’t shut it down. All you can do is choose not to act on it, and accept the reality that the person you’ll always love can’t be in your life. The background music is so sad, it makes me want to cry. She looks at the photo again.
Robin can’t imagine what Sam is going through. If she admits he’s Jason, she has to admit the last two years of her life weren’t exactly a lie, but not what she thought. The man she thought was him, isn’t. Jason tells her that Sonny and Carly want to prove he’s Jason, and Diane is working on it. She’s looking for cold cases where he was arrested to find a hard copy of his fingerprints. Robin says at least she has a wealth of material to chose from, Jason tells her they’re focused on the wrong thing. He only cares about who’s responsible.
Curtis tells Jordan even though he hates to admit it, Andre is a good dude who just got caught up. His phone rings, and he says, speak of the devil. He might have hacked into Andre’s personal account. Jordan says she doesn’t want to know, but she does want to know what he found. He tells her that Andre had a courier service make a shipment to an address on Elm Street, and he has the IP address he used.
Franco sees Andrew coming out of Elizabeth’s house, and stays hidden. Elizabeth says they did the right thing. They might have their differences, but they’re a good team when it comes to Jake. He thanks Elizabeth for believing in him. It means more than she knows. Franco listens.
On Monday, Ned and Michael talk about ELQ’s future, Jason says goodbye, and Robin asks about Anna’s new boyfriend.
Kaya messes with the circuit breakers. She tells her son not to tease the frozen zombie. She sees someone walking toward them in the distance, and hopes it’s Citizen Z, but it’s a group from Zona. They begin to shoot, and she shoots back. She tells Nana not to panic but they have intruders. She grabs her bag, and Jay-Z CD, and says let’s go. They take a ladder to the bunker downstairs. where she sets up the radio. She makes an emergency broadcast, saying they’re under attack by Zona forces. She asks if Simon or anyone is out there.
Lily and Doc sing Camp Granada, the stoner version. Murphy tells them those aren’t pot leaves; they’re maple leaves. They’re in Canada. Frozen wasteland of peace, here they come. Murphy says he believes in no one but himself, and Roberta says he’s like a cockroach. He says they survive, and he plans to keep on surviving. Mounty zombies stagger out of the building.
A few zombies in toques come out of the woods. Doc calls them hosers, and tells them to, take off, eh? They dispatch the Mounties, and Lily takes one of their hats. Doc says he hates to stereotype, but they’ve been the nicest zombies he’s seen. Roberta tells them to go back to America, as a hockey team races toward them. She and 10K jet, and the rest run into a chapel on the border. They go upstairs, and hear some really weird sounds. It’s zombie nuns, and Doc says, zombie mother of God, whacking one with her own guitar. Murphy struggles with two of them, and says this is why he hates organized religion. 10K and Roberta have come back, and they save him.
Zombies clamor at the boarded-up windows. Doc says as if Catholic school didn’t scare him enough, and backs into a holy water font. He knocks it over, and says now he’s really going to hell. Lily says it was a church, but zombies run it now. Doc is afraid what’s outside is Mother Superior mean. He informs everyone that the food and water is back in the van. Murphy misses Zona. He thought they won, and it was over. Now, the best he can hope for, is freezing his nuts off in Newmerica. Doc wonders how many Z hordes they need to get through to get there. Roberta doesn’t know how far the darkness spreads. Maybe her dreams are true, maybe not. She asks Murphy what they did to her. She tells them if her dreams are real, nowhere is safe; not even Newmerica. Doc says they need to get inside her head, and she tells him, good luck. 10K says Murphy can do it. Doc agrees. She has his blood in her, and it’s worth a shot. Roberta says she needs to know.
She and Murphy concentrate, but Murphy says it isn’t working. Roberta tells him to give it a minute. She tells him to look at her. They close their eyes, and she thinks of her vision. He opens his eyes to a beautiful field, where he’s standing with her. She says it’s the end of the world, but he can’t see it. The fire, ash, darkness, and pain. She tells him to look in the distance, but he only sees a snow-capped mountain. She says she’s sorry. The rain is coming; it’s here. The ash begins to fall. Murphy is on fire, and he opens his eyes, brushing at himself. Doc asks what he saw, and he says, nothing, but he felt what she’s feeling. It’s excruciating.
Lily motions for them to come. Murphy takes Roberta’s hand. He asks if what he felt is what she’s been feeling this whole time, and she says, yeah. He asks if they’re going toward it or away from it. She tells him that she doesn’t know. They reinforce the door, but Roberta thinks they need something stronger. Murphy opens the confessional doors, and zombies tumble out. They shove them back in.
Lily, Doc, and 10k see a live person, a backpacker, who runs from them. The church bells start to ring, and the zombies are drawn to the noise. They begin to punch through the barriers.
The backpacker continues to ring the bells. Doc tells him, not so fast, Quasimodo. Zombies are trickling in, and Roberta is mesmerized by a hockey player for a moment. 10K and Lily come downstairs, and help put up barricades. Murphy slices up a nun, doing a Zorro number with his cane sword, and says he’s getting good at this. When the others see what he’s done, he tells them he has issues.
Doc brings the backpacker downstairs. Lily says she’s always wanted to interrogate someone, putting a gun to the backpacker’s head, and telling him to give her one good reason not to off him right now. Roberta pushes her aside, and says she’s Lieutenant Warren from the National Guard. He tells her his name is Louis. She asks if there’s any reason he wants to get them killed, and he says no. She asks him if he has a death wish, and he shakes his head. She asks what he’s doing here, and Doc says he came with this, showing her a pickax. Roberta looks at all the jewelry he’s wearing, and asks if he’s a grave robber. Jewelry would be important, but not off of corpses. Lily notices he has a load of St. Christopher medals. She says her granddad had one, and never took it off. He would never take it off, unless he was dead. Louis snatches them back, and Roberta asks why he has this stuff. Doc tells her he searched Louis’s bag, and he has a cornucopia of comparative religions. He shows them a Buddha, and a necklace like one he once had, from a woman at Grand Canyon. Louis says he mercied an old lady before she turned, and she was holding it. Roberta asks why take it? Was he moved by the Great Spirit? He says someone was, and someone will be when this is finally over. Lily says it sounds like grave robbing to her. He came from downstairs, where there’s a crypt. He says it’s not what she thinks, there’s a relic from a saint’s bone buried there, and it’s supposed to cure the sick. Roberta tells him to believe what he wants, but quit trying to get them killed. Louis says he didn’t know who they were. People are weird and dangerous. Doc says that’s an understatement. Roberta asks if it’s worth risking his life. Lily says there’s a horde situation, and all ways out are blocked. Louis knows a way out.
Louis takes them to a tunnel that leads to an old graveyard. The zombies aren’t far behind, and they push a faux sepulcher aside. There’s an opening underneath. Zombies bust in. Louis jumps down, and they follow, one by one, as 10K shoots the zombies. Doc holds his nose before jumping, and I laugh.
The zombies start dropping down. Doc and 10K manage to move the sepulcher back enough to stop them from getting through. They walk through the tunnel. There’s a room with a a real sepulcher, and Roberta asks Louis if this is his saint. He says it’s a relic, buried along with a bishop from 20s. She was a martyr, killed by her father when she wouldn’t marry. Doc comes back, and says they hit a literal brick wall. Louis says it wasn’t in the blueprints. Roberta asks for his ax.
Louis asks Roberta to help him open the coffin. She says not many people have religion since the apocalypse, and he says he doesn’t , but if the relic can cure people, people will need healing when this is over. Roberta says if he thinks it will be over, that’s faith. He says it’s basic survival. He has to believe it to live.
10K works at chipping away the bricks.
Roberta asks Louis, why all this stuff if he’s not a believer? He says his mom was a good Catholic. It made no sense to him, but he was glad she had something; it was comforting. One day, the whole world literally lost its mind. It was a bad first night. He was in a garage; he was a mechanic. Roberta says her too. He tells her it was in the middle of the city, and it seemed like ground zero. his boss first to turn; then his buddy Juan. It was up to him to put them down. It took forever; they didn’t know what was needed back then. We see him fighting with zombie Juan. He picks up a huge wrench. He tells Roberta all he could hear was screaming from outside, and the sound of the wrench, hitting. Then it was done. They were dead. It was dark, and Juan’s candle with the Virgin Mary on it kept burning. Roberta asks if that isn’t a miracle, and Louis says it was a light. He needed it, so he took it, and ever since then, he kept finding stuff. It gives him reason to keep going, a mission. Roberta asks what if it ends up being nothing? What if the apocalypse never ends, or does, and no one wants it? Is he doing good, or just delusional? How does he know. He tells her that he doesn’t. She looks for something to help him with
10K is still working on the wall. Roberta asks for the crowbar, and Murphy brings it to Louis. He says the saint had a pretty crappy dad, and Louis says all those girl saints did, but St. Lucy had a crappy mom. She’s the patron saint of the blind and epidemics. Murphy says his daughter’s name was Lucy, and she could have cured everyone, just like his saint, but she died saving him. She wasn’t a saint, just a little girl. Louis tells him sacrificing yourself for someone you love, it doesn’t get more holy than that, Murphy says he needs more leverage.
He asks for pickax, telling the group it’s important. Louis, Roberta, and Murphy start to slide the top across the coffin. When they get it over several inches, smoke wafts out and banging comes from the inside. The bishop sits up. Roberta tosses 10k the crowbar. Murphy struggles with the bishop, and Louis whacks the zombie in the back of the head. He says he thought he was supposed to be dead dead. He fiddles with a pendant the bishop is wearing. He says it doesn’t open, and there’s no secret compartment; it’s just a cross. He looks around in the coffin, and says, it’s empty. Murphy says, then it’s probably time to go.
There’s another wall behind the bricks, Lily tells them she has one grenade left. Roberta thinks they need an actual miracle. Murphy doesn’t think they’re going to find one, and the bells begin to ring. Murphy is like, oh, come on, and Doc says someone is ringing them. They go back upstairs, and the zombies are all tangled in the bell cords. They look around, and no zombies. They see a dead little girl in her First Communion dress, who looks like Lucy. She’s holding the relic that’s embedded in a sculpture of a hand, studded with gems. Doc says he calls that a damn miracle. Murphy says, St. Lucy.
They leave the church, and Roberta looks at the relic. She gives it to Louis. He says it’s more beautiful than he thought. Murphy asks to look at it. He turns his back to them, and touches the bone. He thanks Louis. Louis thanks Roberta, and she says she didn’t do anything; she was just there. He wants to give her something for helping him and not killing him. He asks if there’s anything they need to keep going, and Lily suggests bullets, aspirin, and toilet paper. He has batteries, and gives them to her. She calls him my man.
As Doc leaves, Louis gives him the necklace like the one he had, and tells him have faith. Doc says he will, and they part company.
Lily gets the radio going. They hear Kaya in the Skya, and that it’s an emergency. Lily tries to answer, but Kaya can’t hear her. Murphy hears her say Zona, and says that’s bad. They decide to look for a transmitter, but Roberta is missing. She’s walking back toward the US. Murphy says sometimes you just gotta believe. They follow her in the van, and pick her up.
As they drive by Louis, he waves. A zombie falls out a window on top of him, and he goes splat. I laugh.
I know that sounded mean, but it was funny in a Zombieland kind of way.
Next time, a news station is awash with zombies. No comment.
Quotes of the Week
A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you. – Elbert Hubbard
Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.” – Helen Keller When I moved to NYC after high school, I didn’t bring a lot with me, but I had a mini-poster that said: Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.
Any fool can be happy. It takes a man with real heart to make beauty out of the stuff that makes us weep. – Clive Barker
The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails. – William Arthur Ward
Dorinda best drunk in Housewives history. – Michael Rapaport
😣 So My Week Be Like…